DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old granddaughter is an emotional eater and has gained a lot of weight. When she was quite young, her mother walked out, and that rejection, combined with her dad laying a lot of the household responsibility on her, makes her anxious and depressed. Her dad isn't great with the whole "feelings" thing, and I live 800 miles away and can be supportive only from afar.
I buy her most of her clothing, and she's now so large she can't fit into most of the trendy stores' plus-sizes. Another family member recently called her fat -- which, of course, made her feel awful and drove her to bury her feelings with more food. How can I help her take better care of herself without making her feel even worse? -- CONCERNED NANNY FROM AFAR
DEAR CONCERNED NANNY: The challenges your granddaughter is facing cannot be resolved from afar, regardless of how much you may wish to. She needs a caring female influence in her life. A way to teach her healthy habits and help boost her self-esteem might be to invite her to live with you if you are able.
My advice to grandma is to engage her in cooking. DD and I are very passionate about cooking. And, as she has gotten more and more competent at it, she really thinks about the ingredients. She is very happy to take a cranberry pecan salad to school for lunch with some chunked sauteed chicken breast and homemade ranch dressing. By really looking at food she has learned to recognize crap from real food.
However, since grandma lives 800 miles away, there is really nothing she can do at all which is sad.
Maybe she can invite granddaughter out for the summer and grandma can teach her how to cook healthy meals and go for long walks together. Encourage her to develop hobby s and join clubs with other young people who shares her interest. Her father which I'm assuming is her son should get his daughter to a therapist. I think the worst thing for a child is for their mother to reject them.
Gma lives 800 miles away and knows the girl has a very hard life, buys her clothes from that far away, but doesn't do anything more constructive than what she is doing?
My gma would have moved in the second she thought anything wasn't right. Any of them would have.
Yeah, I know, not everyone can up and move 800 miles, but there are so many options now, options that can keep this from happening.
-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Saturday 4th of November 2017 12:56:47 PM
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Mom walked out when the girl was "quite young". At that point, dad should have moved closer to grandma or vice versa. Seems like everyone in this child's life has failed her so now she is going to spend her life being an emotional eater.
