With the recent school shooting, DH and I were talking about just what has changed. Guns have been around for hundreds of years. Even the semi-automatic rifle has been available to the public for 50+ years. Boys were shooting guns back in the 1800's. An 88 yr old friend said that he and his friends carried their guns to school. They even had target practice off of the roof of the school.
If guns haven't changed and the availability of guns hasn't changed, then that must mean the boy has changed. So, what has caused the changed in the boy? DH and I had several opinions, but I wanted to toss it for polite discussion.
I remember seeing gun racks on the window of one of the football player's truck. I'm pretty sure there was a hunting gun on it, too, but I can't be certain.
A lot has changed. Kids don't go out and play outside anymore. If they do, it's through structured sports. How many do you see running around in their backyards, playing cops & robbers or cowboys and Indians. Or building forts and spying on their friends.
Children are being raised in households where both parents work. They are dropped off at after school care and may not see their parents until 6 or 6:30 PM. Then they eat dinner, do homework (if they are fortunate enough to have a parent to make sure it gets done), and go to bed. There isn't enough time spent as a family.
Parents are too tired to care what they are doing as long as they are quiet. Which usually means playing with their devices. Boundaries aren't set because parents feel guilty about not being there for the kids. A lot of children are being raised by their grandparents or by parents living in parents' homes. Grandparents have a different dynamic with their grands than they do with their children. Fewer restrictions are placed. Children need restrictions and they need boundaries.
TV is less restrictive in what is shown. More violence, sex, and fewer morals. When was the last time we had a weekly show that was about right/wrong? Morals are being stretched. Things that used to be considered morally reprehensible are now the norm. People are becoming hardened.
Technology makes it easier to keep in touch with every little thing that occurs in people's private lives, but makes it less likely that someone will pick up the phone or visit face-to-face. Social skills are fading as a result.
That's just a few things off the top of my head.
-- Edited by FNW on Friday 16th of February 2018 10:49:37 AM
I remember seeing gun racks on the window of one of the football player's truck. I'm pretty sure there was a hunting gun on it, too, but I can't be certain.
A lot has changed. Kids don't go out and play outside anymore. If they do, it's through structured sports. How many do you see running around in their backyards, playing cops & robbers or cowboys and Indians. Or building forts and spying on their friends.
Children are being raised in households where both parents work. They are dropped off at after school care and may not see their parents until 6 or 6:30 PM. Then they eat dinner, do homework (if they are fortunate enough to have a parent to make sure it gets done), and go to bed. There isn't enough time spent as a family.
Parents are too tired to care what they are doing as long as they are quiet. Which usually means playing with their devices. Boundaries aren't set because parents feel guilty about not being there for the kids. A lot of children are being raised by their grandparents or by parents living in parents' homes. Grandparents have a different dynamic with their grands than they do with their children. Fewer restrictions are placed. Children need restrictions and they need boundaries.
TV is less restrictive in what is shown. More violence, sex, and fewer morals. When was the last time we had a weekly show that was about right/wrong? Morals are being stretched. Things that used to be considered morally reprehensible are now the norm. People are becoming hardened.
Technology makes it easier to keep in touch with every little thing that occurs in people's private lives, but makes it less likely that someone will pick up the phone or visit face-to-face. Social skills are fading as a result.
That's just a few things off the top of my head.
-- Edited by FNW on Friday 16th of February 2018 10:49:37 AM
Breakdown of the family unit, lack of respect for authorities.
Is it not hard to respect "authority" that doesn't deserve it? Let's face it, our figures of authority are almost as corrupt and reprehensible as the shooter(s). When those in power, those who align themselves to be the "heroes", role models, of our young behave in a manner that at one time was reprehensible and now viewed as "the norm", it's nearly impossible to show respect. It's no wonder that the young want to emulate when "authority" and role models are given carte blanche and no accountability or punishment.
Mental health is not taken seriously enough.
Threats are not taken seriously enough.
Talking about shooting up the school (or whatever venue) is not taken seriously enough.
Participation trophies became a thing.
Kids aren't taught to be resilient like they used to be.
Kids are taught the world should cater to them.
Boys, specifically, are told something is wrong with them if they do play games like cops and robbers.
Girls, specifically, are told they're not good enough if their body isn't perfect.
The kid being bullied is told they're at fault too somehow and/or is made to suffer consequences like the bully does.
The internet allows bullies to target their victim whenever wherever.
Lack of caring enough to step in to someone else's life.
Turning emergencies into picture taking opportunities - i.e. taking pictures of someone who has fallen instead of going over to help them.
Just some things I've observed in the past few years. I feel that 'what has changed' is a combination of different factors vs being one specific cause. If a child says they want to shoot up the school, people need to pay attention. That isn't normal behavior. It's a cry for help and it's negligent to just laugh it off. Kids these days live in a different world than we did growing up. We didn't have the 24/7 connectivity kids today have. We didn't have to deal with our bullies dogging us on social media. Kids these days do. Parents need to be really in tune with their kids and communicate daily. Ask questions. Find out if your kid really is ok.
Guns aren't the problem. People are the problem. The lack of mental healthcare is a problem. The urge to kill doesn't come from nowhere. The warning signs are almost always there if people bother to look for them. Sadly, society (in general) is becoming more selfish and more me me me. Rather than jumping in to help someone in distress, people will take pics/video of the incident. We don't notice cries for help because we're too wrapped up in our own little world.
I agree, the most of the problem is due to the home. But how did we get to this place and how do we get out of it?
Restricting guns does nothing for repairing the real heart of the matter. How do we get parents/adults to understand that they are part of the problem?
Wow, that is multifaceted to say the least. Let's go back in time and examine it. IMO, and the core of it all, is the skyrocketing cost of living, ie, housing, and basic essentials, profiteering if you will, causing the need for a two-income family is a huge factor in this. The "what's in it for me" attitude causing the very lack of empathy and compassion we see today. The deterioration of the nuclear family, imo, is directly linked to the necessity for a two-income family.
How do we get out of it?
I'm not sure it's possible, unfortunately. Is it possible to go back in time and now teach empathy, compassion, etc.? Is it possible for corporations to accept less profit and demonstrate the loyalty it once did for employees through job security, benefits at a cost to the company rather than transferring it to the employee?
So many factors that contribute to the deterioration we see now.
And the political landscape's part in it?
-- Edited by Forever Sunshine on Friday 16th of February 2018 11:49:08 AM
Think about it, 15 year olds were once married with kids on the way and taking care of their families.
Now 30 year olds are still trying to get their lives together.
You were also taught to respect life. Life was precious and a gift. You only took what you needed from the land.
Now, it's all available in a shiny package on a well lit shelf.
I've said it many times, parents have tried so hard to give their kids all they didn't have growing up, parents forgot to give kids what they did have.
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I feel that the break down of so many families and having babies with several different men without a commitment from either one of them, care more about having a boyfriend then what is best for their children. Lack of responsibility toward their childrens needs, put their wants like drugs, alcohol and their life before their child.
I think it is sad that the school has to have a backpack program where on Fridays they put food that can be microwave or something the child can eat cold just so they will have something to eat over the weekend. I remember when my kids were in school that was rare but now it seems to have grown.
I think that parents need to be held accountable more then they are. We have some young kids at our church who sometimes come in crying cause mother's boyfriend beats their mother or moms in jail.
I feel that the break down of so many families and having babies with several different men without a commitment from either one of them, care more about having a boyfriend then what is best for their children. Lack of responsibility toward their childrens needs, put their wants like drugs, alcohol and their life before their child.
I think it is sad that the school has to have a backpack program where on Fridays they put food that can be microwave or something the child can eat cold just so they will have something to eat over the weekend. I remember when my kids were in school that was rare but now it seems to have grown.
I think that parents need to be held accountable more then they are. We have some young kids at our church who sometimes come in crying cause mother's boyfriend beats their mother or moms in jail.
The issues definitely start in the home. It amazes me how many people are trying to make this a political issue. It is a break down of morals in our society that is the root cause that leads to "let the school raise my kid" and " can't wait for this kid to be 18 so I no longer responsible."
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Yes the let the school raise my kids. My dil worked as a aide in our school a child went to the office sick and when the school nurse called the mother told her that it was the schools job to take care of her kid till 3:00😠. I couldn't believe they didn't call cps on her.
I mean, we can look at all the reasons WHY society has degenerated to what it now is. However, at this point, we need to focus on making schools secure. That is what we do in the immediate. All of the other things like compassion, kindess, mental health treatements, etc are not going to be fixed in the immediate.
I mean, we can look at all the reasons WHY society has degenerated to what it now is. However, at this point, we need to focus on making schools secure. That is what we do in the immediate. All of the other things like compassion, kindess, mental health treatements, etc are not going to be fixed in the immediate.
Agree. Society changes and so our systems and processes must change. The awful thing about this specific school campus is they had all the bells and whistles w/r to security in place with the exception of the dismissal time and when a fire alarm is pulled. Not sure how to control the fire alarm thing though. Such a conundrum.
-- Edited by I know what to do_sometimes on Friday 16th of February 2018 07:32:45 PM
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Yes. Pulling the fire alarm is very devious. The problem is that it is very hard for normal , decent people to think like these evil criminals. I think there needs to be some kind of task force, cooperative effort wehre law enforcement has much heavier involvment in the schools.
Maybe it's time to have active shooter drills in schools instead of fire drills.
The schools do have those drills. Sad but needed.
I think this kid knew that and got around it. He was familiar with the schools routines and procedures. He did pull the fire alarm to get more kids out in the hall.
I am unfamiliar with the active shooter drills and how they unfold.
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Maybe it's time to have active shooter drills in schools instead of fire drills.
The schools do have those drills. Sad but needed.
I think this kid knew that and got around it. He was familiar with the schools routines and procedures. He did pull the fire alarm to get more kids out in the hall.
I am unfamiliar with the active shooter drills and how they unfold.
The schools all have levels of drills. One may not know what is going on but by the level of the alert the kids know what to do. Sad stain on us.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
you can't look at the tragedy in florida as a " trend "--it simply isn't--have been present at two mass shootings in this country and the common denominators in both of them were: each shooter acted alone and without any warning/preliminaries and each shooter was mentally deranged at(or shortly before)the time of the event
when individuals make the decision to kill others and they're acting alone it is nearly impossible to stop them before they act--it is the NATURE of the attack not necessarily the particular attacker that makes it so difficult to interdict
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