DEAR ABBY: Recently, my wife took two of our granddaughters (ages 9 and 15) and a friend (age 15) to the movies. As usual, the next day I found trash had been left in the car, which triggered the following text exchange.
I sent both granddaughters a picture of a garbage can and my car and asked: "Please advise which one is used to throw away trash? If you need help, ask your mom. I'm not accusing anyone of anything. Also, if one of your friends was to throw trash on your Poppy's car floor, what should you do? Would you ask them to pick it up -- yes or no?"
The only response I received was from their mom, who said, "'Amber' (granddaughter) did not leave trash in your car!" Things have gone downhill from there.
I replied that I expected an answer to my questions, and that I hadn't accused anybody of anything. You would think I had shot someone! Many tears have been shed, and my wife has threatened to divorce me for standing my ground. We have agreed to have you settle this. What say you? -- TALKING TRASH IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR TALKING TRASH: You are the injured party. You did nothing wrong. You are owed an apology from all concerned -- the kid who left the trash in your car, and your wife and daughter for overreacting.
Personally, when exiting the vehicle is when I teach the boys to take trash out with them. If I find any after the fact, I remove it myself. I find that with the passage of time, they will forget who left what and any disciplinary intent will lose its affect. And just make me look like a crazy beotch.
Next time you see them, you say "be sure to get your trash out when done".
The texting passive aggressive accusations and expecting answers is just ridiculous.
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It sounds like it wasn't the first time and for all we know they may have already been told to throw their garage into the trash. 9 and 15 years old are way old enough to know better and instead of defending them and enabling their bad manners their mother should make her girls apologize for being so thoughtless and rude.
Sounds like everyone is over reacting. Threatened to divorce me??? Tears?? Amber's mothers answer is a bit theatrical. Maybe they think they are living in a soap opera.
Not that hard for grandma (who was the designated driver) to tell the kids to take their trash with them. She surely had a second or two to look in the back seat before everyone got out.....
But not a problem worth getting all bent out of shape over. Wonder if there are other problems with the grandkids? (At least from Grandpa's view)
When you pull the car into the drive way say "everyone gather up their trash". Do this over and over then eventually it will just be a habit. If they forget in the beginning, you just wait until the next trip and then keep making it a habit. Geez.
