To me not only it’s a commitment before the law, but also a spiritual commitment before God. Also I believe it can give you legal protection if ones partner fails to honor his/her vows especially where children are concerned.
To me not only it’s a commitment before the law, but also a spiritual commitment before God. Also I believe it can give you legal protection if ones partner fails to honor his/her vows especially where children are concerned.
To me not only it’s a commitment before the law, but also a spiritual commitment before God. Also I believe it can give you legal protection if ones partner fails to honor his/her vows especially where children are concerned.
I agree!
Exactly!
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I've also come to feel that two people can be just as committed without actually having that piece of paper.
Yes. I had a staunchly different view not that long ago.
But life has a way of changing things.
If two people do not want to be married, legally, they shouldn't be.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Nobody said anyone 'had" to do anything. Nobody is forcing anyone to get married. People can shack up all they want. But, no, i am not going to pretend it's THE SAME thing as a marriage. It isn't.
Two adults living together isn't my business and I realize that, I have a big problem with having kids while living together. If you don't know if your ready to be married and commit to one another, then don't have kids together. I see so much of that anymore, move in with bf have child break up , move in with another bf have another child.
Two adults living together isn't my business and I realize that, I have a big problem with having kids while living together. If you don't know if your ready to be married and commit to one another, then don't have kids together. I see so much of that anymore, move in with bf have child break up , move in with another bf have another child.
I agree. 2 adults can do what they wish. It's their lives to live as they please. However, everything is not the moral equivalent of everything else. And, children born to loving married parents is a good thing.
I also don't know how much protection financially the kids will get from their baby daddies, at least if you are married and one parent ends up being a turd the child should receive benefits and child support and even that can be a battle.
Being committed doesn't change just because you stand in front of a church and repeat vows.
The commitment is there with or without that.
Legally being married has benefits.
Not being married does, too.
I would rather a couple who wants to be committed to each other get married.
But I also said somewhere, I don't like my daughter's choice of SO, and I damn sure don't want her married to him.
So, while I would rather she be married instead of living in sin.
I don't want her tied to this one.
Commitment has to be there with or without the legal contract.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
As for child support, having been married or not can't guarantee it'll be paid.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I don't blame you lily for not wanting your dd to marry her boyfriend and she is a adult and it is her choice. I just hope she doesn't have a child with him because she will have him in her life at least till the child is grown whether she wants it or not. Also for a Christian the vows does matter.
Like I said, you can have commitment and no marriage, you can have marriage and commitment, and you can have marriage and no commitment.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I don't blame you lily for not wanting your dd to marry her boyfriend and she is a adult and it is her choice. I just hope she doesn't have a child with him because she will have him in her life at least till the child is grown whether she wants it or not. Also for a Christian the vows does matter.
I agree, I am a Christian.
I also hope she doesn't have a kid with him.
But if they do, he will be there no matter if they are married or not when it happens .
No matter if they are married and then divorce.
It's not the life I wanted for her.
It's not the life I wanted for me.
But you can do it all right, and it still go bad.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Like I said, you can have commitment and no marriage, you can have marriage and commitment, and you can have marriage and no commitment.
But, the first one is not a marriage.
-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Monday 2nd of July 2018 03:09:55 PM
No ****, sherlock .
Neither is the last one.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Yeah, a lot of marriages don't work out. Does that mean marriage is broken or does it mean people are broken? Do we throw out the baby with the bathwater?
Don't you think the ideal is 2 people will to give all they have to one another, to lay down their selfish desires to become a joined a union of man and wife and seeking the good of one another? No, life isn't always ideal. Nobody said it was.
According to you, once you're married, it magically makes the commitment grow.
I say that it takes both, and that if both are not 100% committed, they shouldn't get married.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
The one sounding like flan is you. Just like the "odummer" comments, that were comments i never personally made. She would claim i said things i didnt' say and couldn't back it up. So, back it up.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
The ideal may be two people willing to give up their selfish ways, lay down their lives for one another, and their children should they have them but, and that's a big BUT, that's the ideal . . . it's an idealistic view of marriage in today's world. It's a pre 60s view. The world is evolving. It's no longer the ideal to see marriage as being described. Marriage doesn't automatically make two people any more committed than couples who don't marry. If it did, there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. As generations progress, if one can call it that, they've become more selfish and self-centered. They don't have a clue about delayed gratification, etc.
That said, I don't believe the "problem" is the institution of marriage at all. I believe the problem is in how children are being raised and the world view of marriage.
The ideal may be two people willing to give up their selfish ways, lay down their lives for one another, and their children should they have them but, and that's a big BUT, that's the ideal . . . it's an idealistic view of marriage in today's world. It's a pre 60s view. The world is evolving. It's no longer the ideal to see marriage as being described. Marriage doesn't automatically make two people any more committed than couples who don't marry. If it did, there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. As generations progress, if one can call it that, they've become more selfish and self-centered. They don't have a clue about delayed gratification, etc.
That said, I don't believe the "problem" is the institution of marriage at all. I believe the problem is in how children are being raised and the world view of marriage.
Amen Sister
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Well said FS, it isn't the institution of marriage that is a problem, I would add that if someone is in a abusive marriage I would recommend that they leave.
Deleted some of what I wrote, it sounded worse then what I meant.
-- Edited by Lindley on Monday 2nd of July 2018 07:43:17 PM
-- Edited by Lindley on Monday 2nd of July 2018 07:54:10 PM
My ex is married and leaving me and my kids blissfully alone.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
People aren't taught to value most anything now-a-days except themselves and what they want. As for throwing marriage away . . . well, given that we've rapidly become a throw-away-society, it should be no surprise that marriages are thrown away too.
I mean, really, the only reason I see for getting married is medical reasons so that your partner can make decisions. Other than that, I don't see a benefit to it. Well, and maybe collecting their SS if they die first. And even having kids . . . when I had my son, there was no way hospitals would allow a woman to put the father's name on the birth certificate if they weren't married. Now, you can.
ETA: In my opinion, the younger generations don't have a clue what love is because the word is thrown around like any other word. It's lost its meaning today. The younger generations confuse sex with love.
-- Edited by Forever Sunshine on Monday 2nd of July 2018 08:40:22 PM
From a Christian point God ordained it before there was a Church and it is suppose to be representative of the Church.
I hate it when people are so flippant about marriage like it's only a piece of paper or cast it aside when we no longer infatuated or its gotten so hard, or the grass is greener on the other side.
I do realize that some definitely need to leave and has very good reasons to do so.
And from a divorced Christian point, it's very easy to say what others should do, but very different when walking in those shoes.
I agree, marriage is a wonderful thing.
My "piece of paper" comment comes from understanding that unless both are committed, that's all it is. A piece of paper.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If you see marriage as "just a piece of paper", then that is all it will be to you.
Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. The "piece of paper" gives you legal rights you can't get otherwise. But, if you only see it as a piece of paper, you are missing a very large concept.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
So my ex DH seems to want to do the commitment thing now.
