DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old widow who lost my husband 5 1/2 years ago. I became reacquainted with a former classmate at a high school reunion, and we started dating. He makes me laugh, takes me to dinner and movies, and we have a great time together.
One night, I let him stay over because he was going to go to church with me the next morning. He lives 45 minutes away. My son drove by (intentionally), saw his car and confronted us at church in front of people. He walked up to my friend and said, "Well, how did you enjoy your sleepover at my mother's house last night?" This was the first time they had ever met!
Their bitterness toward each other has escalated, and now my son has given me an ultimatum: Choose between his family or my friend. He has my only grandchildren.
I am so depressed, I don't know what to do. I don't want my son dictating my life, but I want to see my grandchildren. They truly are the most important people in my life. I could break up with my friend, but then my son would think he won. Any thoughts? -- SO, SO SAD
DEAR SAD: You are all adults. Your son was a mile out of line to do what he did. Why would he be patrolling your home? Personally, I think what he did was a little sick.
This is not a question of winning or losing. For your own sake, you must not allow him to tell you how to conduct your personal life. I would recommend family therapy for all of you if your self-righteous son would agree. But if he won't, my advice to you is to live your own life.
Son is a jerk. He is completely unreasonable. I could see wanting no sleepovers if the children are present. Otherwise he needs to mind his own business.
The son is a self-righteous prig! Why
would he intentionally mortify his Mom,
especially in front of her church family?
I believe the fact that her friend was
going to Church with her in the morning
shows that his intentions are honorable.
And how does Sonny-boy know where
Mom's friend slept? Couch? Guest room?
Mom's vows - til death do us part - put
her in the clear to date, and find a new
mate. In the near future, Mom should
keep her dating life to herself (otherwise
how did Sonny know to drive by her
house?)
Ohh this makes me so mad! I'd love to
go up to Sonny and give him a slap
upside the head! Anyone for a sporking
raid?
"Look here, jr. I don't know who you think you are talking to, but I am STILL your mother and you will NOT talk to me or my friends that way. As to your ultimatum, I am an adult an I will see who I want when I want. You do NOT get to decide that. If you have a problem with this, you either talk to me like an adult, and your mother, or you can keep it to your self. Now, as for keeping me from your child, my grandchild, if that's what you want to do, remember it's you who will be breaking that little ones heart, not me. Grow up. I have a life outside of you."
Then give him no opportunity to say a word.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I agree that he's probably worried about his inheritance. Or his father's memory.
My mom was "weird" about her father dating after her mother passed away. But her instincts were spot on, they were stealing from him. There's nothing in these facts to indicate this is taking anything but her time and companionship from his mother.
