TOTALLY GEEKED!

TrudyML · Guru

Yikes!

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

OH MY GOSH! furious

How Greedy could she be? Those poor kids. I don't blame them for being upset.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Yeah I would never accept another invite and I would rip her a new one.

Lindley · Guru

I wonder how many kids will show up at her next birthday party

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Lindley wrote:
I wonder how many kids will show up at her next birthday party

I'm guessing, none!

Lindley · Guru

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I wonder how many kids will show up at her next birthday party
I'm guessing, none!

I'm really surprised they all went to the girls home right after the incident.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Lindley wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I wonder how many kids will show up at her next birthday party
I'm guessing, none!
I'm really surprised they all went to the girls home right after the incident.

I'm surprised, too. I sure as hell wouldn't have gone.

Lindley · Guru

Me either, I do feel sorry for the little girl though, her parents are setting her up to fail

TrudyML · Guru

That girl is going to have zero friends.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

And the sad thing is? It's not the girl's fault.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Omg!!! I would not have handed my kid's over. Especially if they were crying and super upset about it? Hell no. And I almost feel sorry for the little girl who took all the bears except she wasn't even fussed about it either? Just grabbed the bears and ran.

That story gets my love - of - drama blood boiling!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Who paid for the toys?

chef · Guru

No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.

Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

How awful!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Who paid for the toys?

What does that matter? I would assume each kid brought a gift an the build a bear is the bday activity and goodie bag.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Who paid for the toys?

What does that matter? I would assume each kid brought a gift an the build a bear is the bday activity and goodie bag.

Because if each kid had to pay for their own bear, that's doubly tacky.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Those bears can be pricey. One parent said they kicked in $30.

chef · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.

Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.

Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition wink biggrin

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Who paid for the toys?

What does that matter? I would assume each kid brought a gift an the build a bear is the bday activity and goodie bag.
Because if each kid had to pay for their own bear, that's doubly tacky.

If each kid had to pay for their own bear, that's THEFT.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

This is probably one of the meanest things I've ever heard.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition

I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Right?

chef · Guru

Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Allowing the other mother to take my son's bear teaches my son that his feelings don't matter. That the time and effort he put into making something he thought he was going to get to keep doesn't matter. That he and the other kids essentially being lied to doesn't matter. No. I stand up against such entitlement. And, I do encourage my son to do so as well. He's very vocal about his feelings because he's been taught that he does have a voice and his voice matters. "Why should she get my bear? It's my bear. Why didn't you tell us the bears weren't for us?"

Spite? The only spite is on the part of the other mother who steals bears from birthday guests. If she wanted the bears for her child, that needed to be explicitly stated. Given the hurt feelings, the tone of the article, and the fact there even was an article, I doubt such a statement was made. My son would've been more than happy to make her kid a bear. But to be given the impression it's his bear and then to be told he must give it up? Lol, NO!

You needn't worry though. His friends parents aren't entitled turds like the parent in the article. My proverbial fish to fry is beloved childhood characters who had costume faux pas. DS is 5 and has already found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Santa due to an accidental costume malfunction. The Easter Bunny due him taking his head off and DS spotting him. DS took Santa in stride but he was salty about the Easter Bunny.

chef · Guru

Vette wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Right?

Right. Agree. But, sometimes, the high road - though the right thing to do - is not the desired thing to do when one is being crapped on. I'm not going to begrudge a 5 year old ripping up a bear he worked hard on because an adult is being a jerk.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Allowing the other mother to take my son's bear teaches my son that his feelings don't matter. That the time and effort he put into making something he thought he was going to get to keep doesn't matter. That he and the other kids essentially being lied to doesn't matter. No. I stand up against such entitlement. And, I do encourage my son to do so as well. He's very vocal about his feelings because he's been taught that he does have a voice and his voice matters. "Why should she get my bear? It's my bear. Why didn't you tell us the bears weren't for us?"
Spite? The only spite is on the part of the other mother who steals bears from birthday guests. If she wanted the bears for her child, that needed to be explicitly stated. Given the hurt feelings, the tone of the article, and the fact there even was an article, I doubt such a statement was made. My son would've been more than happy to make her kid a bear. But to be given the impression it's his bear and then to be told he must give it up? Lol, NO!
You needn't worry though. His friends parents aren't entitled turds like the parent in the article. My proverbial fish to fry is beloved childhood characters who had costume faux pas. DS is 5 and has already found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Santa due to an accidental costume malfunction. The Easter Bunny due him taking his head off and DS spotting him. DS took Santa in stride but he was salty about the Easter Bunny.

Yes, yes, and yes. Tearing the bear into pieces in revenge however, is what you supported in your original post. Still spite and still can't believe that your would encourage behaviour like that. How is a child supposed to know that that isn't okay? Are they supposed to walk around destroying things they don't like, or in response to conversations or answers they don't like? Ummm......

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Allowing the other mother to take my son's bear teaches my son that his feelings don't matter. That the time and effort he put into making something he thought he was going to get to keep doesn't matter. That he and the other kids essentially being lied to doesn't matter. No. I stand up against such entitlement. And, I do encourage my son to do so as well. He's very vocal about his feelings because he's been taught that he does have a voice and his voice matters. "Why should she get my bear? It's my bear. Why didn't you tell us the bears weren't for us?"
Spite? The only spite is on the part of the other mother who steals bears from birthday guests. If she wanted the bears for her child, that needed to be explicitly stated. Given the hurt feelings, the tone of the article, and the fact there even was an article, I doubt such a statement was made. My son would've been more than happy to make her kid a bear. But to be given the impression it's his bear and then to be told he must give it up? Lol, NO!
You needn't worry though. His friends parents aren't entitled turds like the parent in the article. My proverbial fish to fry is beloved childhood characters who had costume faux pas. DS is 5 and has already found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Santa due to an accidental costume malfunction. The Easter Bunny due him taking his head off and DS spotting him. DS took Santa in stride but he was salty about the Easter Bunny.
Yes, yes, and yes. Tearing the bear into pieces in revenge however, is what you supported in your original post. Still spite and still can't believe that your would encourage behaviour like that. How is a child supposed to know that that isn't okay? Are they supposed to walk around destroying things they don't like, or in response to conversations or answers they don't like? Ummm......

Not that Chef, or any other parent, owes you an explanation, but understanding what and how your child will respond to things is not the same as supporting their reaction.

It's how you respond to them that matters.

I'm sure Chef is perfectly capable of raising her son.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
chef wrote:
No. Just no. Unless the host parent(s) said all bears are being made for her daughter, I would be quite steamed about this. I wouldn't force DS to give up his bear. Nope. I would take DS and walk away. Frankly, DS would tell her to get lost and walk away himself. His assertiveness hasn't grown a filter yet. Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.
Really? That doesn't sound any more appropriate than the original post.
Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.
Were he older, he'd simply say he was returning the bear to its factory preset condition
I can't imagine you would allow such spiteful behaviour, much less encourage it.

Allowing the other mother to take my son's bear teaches my son that his feelings don't matter. That the time and effort he put into making something he thought he was going to get to keep doesn't matter. That he and the other kids essentially being lied to doesn't matter. No. I stand up against such entitlement. And, I do encourage my son to do so as well. He's very vocal about his feelings because he's been taught that he does have a voice and his voice matters. "Why should she get my bear? It's my bear. Why didn't you tell us the bears weren't for us?"
Spite? The only spite is on the part of the other mother who steals bears from birthday guests. If she wanted the bears for her child, that needed to be explicitly stated. Given the hurt feelings, the tone of the article, and the fact there even was an article, I doubt such a statement was made. My son would've been more than happy to make her kid a bear. But to be given the impression it's his bear and then to be told he must give it up? Lol, NO!
You needn't worry though. His friends parents aren't entitled turds like the parent in the article. My proverbial fish to fry is beloved childhood characters who had costume faux pas. DS is 5 and has already found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Santa due to an accidental costume malfunction. The Easter Bunny due him taking his head off and DS spotting him. DS took Santa in stride but he was salty about the Easter Bunny.
Yes, yes, and yes. Tearing the bear into pieces in revenge however, is what you supported in your original post. Still spite and still can't believe that your would encourage behaviour like that. How is a child supposed to know that that isn't okay? Are they supposed to walk around destroying things they don't like, or in response to conversations or answers they don't like? Ummm......
Not that Chef, or any other parent, owes you an explanation, but understanding what and how your child will respond to things is not the same as supporting their reaction.
It's how you respond to them that matters.

I'm sure Chef is perfectly capable of raising her son.

Yup.

However, knowing that her son would rather destroy something than part with it when he doesn't get what he wants (Actually, I know my son. He can be petty. He'd either keep the bear or he'd rip it to shreds right in front of the entitled mother.) and responding to questions by defending the behaviour is supporting ( Yes, really. He doesn't do entitlement.). *shrug* I just don't think that it is okay for children to resort to destruction or violence whenever they get an answer or a situation that they don't like.

I've shown that I agree with much of what she said. I don't think that anyone owes me an explanation about anything *shrug* but, as the old adage says ... if you post it on a message board ...

chef · Guru

Thanks, Lily, for your post :)

Y'know. I try to take the high road. I really do. I teach my son the same way. Cuz in the end, that is what God is gonna judge us on - our actions. We are responsible for our actions. No one makes us do anything. But y'know what? I'm human. So is my son. And sometimes when one is encountered with an injustice, one loses it and responds inappropriately. So yes, in the moment, I would absolutely support him ripping that bear to shreds because dangit he worked hard on it and he's FIVE and it's rude and not fair to rip HIS bear from HIS hands because your entitled azz thinks the world owes you something. To him, that would be a huge injustice and I'm not gonna begrudge him his reaction to a very much unfair situation. I imagine he'd feel the same way I felt on most group projects - I'd do most of the work cuz I cared about my grade and the deadbeats would benefit and we'd all get an A - that *I* worked for and that they don't deserve because they didn't do a blasted thing but warm their chairs. You bet if there was a way I could've got my A and ensured their grade reflected the amount of work they put in, I would've absolutely done so. Most teachers were meh about equal participation being a thing (yes, I complained).

Now. Will I sit and talk with him? Absolutely. He knows the world owes him nothing (we've had that discussion many times). Will I help him come up with ways to handle future situations better? Absolutely. But in the moment? No. He can have his 5 year old moment of pettiness and spite. And no, I won't force him to remain friends with the entitled mom's child. I will absolutely tell him the child can't know better because her mom is a turd and that it's not fair to the child to punish her because her mom is a turd. But, I will also tell him that his feelings are valid and that he needs to figure out what he can live with and guide him through that. I will let him know that dad and I are always there to be his sounding board. I raise my son to know that he can mess up and that he can always come to us with problems. I'd also encourage him to take it to prayer. He knows God knows he won't always be perfect and he knows that God wants him to be his best but will be there even when he fails.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

And another:
www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2019/4/26/1/hosts-are-charging-in-advance-for

Hosts Are Charging in Advance for Fifth-Grade Graduation Party
Apr 26, 2019 - Letter 2 of 3
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Dear Abby
by Abigail Van Buren

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DEAR ABBY: We recently received an invitation to a party for our child's fifth-grade graduation class. The host is charging $15 per adult and $10 per fifth-grade child ("children under 5 are free"). The invitation also states that spaces are limited and we need to book our attendance with a payment method in advance.

My husband and I think this is very tacky. In addition to that, we find it poor form that this is being billed as the "party of the year" with "limited seating" for our child's class. What are we teaching our children these days? Is it a popularity contest? Is it that the kids from economically challenged homes are not welcome in our homes? What do you make of this? -- UNEASY IN MARYLAND

DEAR UNEASY: I think the amount is excessive. What I make of it is that the entire class is being invited to celebrate the occasion, but the parents who are organizing the event have decided to turn it into a profit-making venture. If this doesn't sit well with you, skip the party and plan to do something privately with your child.

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lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok. I almost get the charging for adults or kids not in the class, that's a lot to charge. A couple bucks to offset cost, or ask they bring a bag of chips or a case of drinks to help.

But here's the beauty, it's not a school sanctioned party, it's a private party.

Personally, I always booked our vacations so that we left immediately after the end of year whatever on the last day.

There was never a thought about going to a party, they were too excited about the beach or amusement park or wherever else we were going.

I heard a conversation between my daughter and a classmate once that was funny.

The classmate was trying to hurt my daughter's feelings saying something to the effect of "you're not invited to my party tomorrow", Caitlyn laughed and said she didn't care cause she would be in Disney World.

The girl was visibly mad she hadn't hurt Caitlyn's feelings. They were 9. How crazy is that?

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

LW should announce a party of her own. Accidentally on the same day and time as the charged one. For free. And accidentally spread the word that it is free. (of course, that could be expensive. Maybe a potluck)

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Tignanello wrote:
LW should announce a party of her own. Accidentally on the same day and time as the charged one. For free. And accidentally spread the word that it is free. (of course, that could be expensive. Maybe a potluck)

If you read the comments, that was the general consensus. But it was also pointed out that the LW did not elaborate if the party was one that the PTO or other committee was organizing the party which would warrant the cost. Since LW did not elaborate on that I think it is one parent wanting to be a host without picking up costs. Certainly the "limited" seating says to me that it is not a school or town related event.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
LW should announce a party of her own. Accidentally on the same day and time as the charged one. For free. And accidentally spread the word that it is free. (of course, that could be expensive. Maybe a potluck)
If you read the comments, that was the general consensus. But it was also pointed out that the LW did not elaborate if the party was one that the PTO or other committee was organizing the party which would warrant the cost. Since LW did not elaborate on that I think it is one parent wanting to be a host without picking up costs. Certainly the "limited" seating says to me that it is not a school or town related event.

What? You mean I'm not the brilliant genius who thought this one up? And no, didn't read the comments. Busted.