TOTALLY GEEKED!

Heading out to Leon's Furniture later this morning. See if they have something nice that they can get into my office by Tuesday. Otherwise it will be a crappy futon in the short term while I wait for the one that is now being delivered TWO WEEKS late. Seriously. Two weeks.

Domestic Engineer wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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DH came by today today to get SS. It was tense but cordial. He says he plans on filing for divorce soon now that he's gotten all his stuff. Asked a lot of questions about BFF. Told him it wasn't his business. Asked him who he's dating and he said he won't tell me. LOL So tired of all this nonsense. She called him while he was here.

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 Your soon to be ex comes by your place to get your step son?  Wouldn't that be his son?  

If I am remembering correctly, you had a dog of a time with SS's behavior partially due to his father's actions and/or inactions.  

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 Yes.  It is his son.  I kept him because he didn't want him to see him and his g/f in a hotel bed together.  Not sure why that is going to be an issue when they are taking his son to his new home where he will be sharing a bed with her there.  And yes, I had a helluva hard time with SS due to DH's inactions.  I talked to ex wife #2 today (I will be ex wife #3) and she is going to take him back to court for more child support.  I told her good for her.  I found it ironic that when he left her for me (they were already divorced) he had me take his car and drop him off at the Uhaul place so he could take it and pick up all the stuff at his exes.  Yesterday his new g/f took him to the Uhaul place in his car and dropped him off so he could come here and get his stuff and go to his new place.  Wow how history repeats itself.

I'm just feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness today.  BF is gone and I'm all alone.  We went out and visited some of my daycare kids to get away.  I guess I'm still processing.  I didn't want him back after the affair.  I don't want him back now.  But I didn't want my marriage to end either.  When I see him I don't feel hatred or love.  Just empty.  I think of all the good times we shared and want those times back.  I am sad that is gone.  I don't feel like a failure.  I really don't feel like I failed.  I did everything I could.  I just feel empty and sad.  I know there are new better things to come.  I get that.  And I'm looking forward to that.  But right now sadness is all I feel.

ETA:  You couldn't have paid me enough to move away from my kids when they were in their teens.  No way no how.  He chose a woman over his son and he will, in the long run, end up losing a lot with his son.  I think his second ex wanted things to work out between us because I treated her son so well.  She is about done with him now.  I think she's just fed up and ready to let him do whatever.  I think she knows he will grow apart from his son and is okay with that.  I think she just wants him to be gone at this point.

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Sunday 14th of June 2020 02:55:21 PM

Lindley wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Domestic Engineer wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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DH came by today today to get SS. It was tense but cordial. He says he plans on filing for divorce soon now that he's gotten all his stuff. Asked a lot of questions about BFF. Told him it wasn't his business. Asked him who he's dating and he said he won't tell me. LOL So tired of all this nonsense. She called him while he was here.

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 Your soon to be ex comes by your place to get your step son?  Wouldn't that be his son?  

If I am remembering correctly, you had a dog of a time with SS's behavior partially due to his father's actions and/or inactions.  

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 Yes.  It is his son.  I kept him because he didn't want him to see him and his g/f in a hotel bed together.  Not sure why that is going to be an issue when they are taking his son to his new home where he will be sharing a bed with her there.  And yes, I had a helluva hard time with SS due to DH's inactions.  I talked to ex wife #2 today (I will be ex wife #3) and she is going to take him back to court for more child support.  I told her good for her.  I found it ironic that when he left her for me (they were already divorced) he had me take his car and drop him off at the Uhaul place so he could take it and pick up all the stuff at his exes.  Yesterday his new g/f took him to the Uhaul place in his car and dropped him off so he could come here and get his stuff and go to his new place.  Wow how history repeats itself.

I'm just feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness today.  BF is gone and I'm all alone.  We went out and visited some of my daycare kids to get away.  I guess I'm still processing.  I didn't want him back after the affair.  I don't want him back now.  But I didn't want my marriage to end either.  When I see him I don't feel hatred or love.  Just empty.  I think of all the good times we shared and want those times back.  I am sad that is gone.  I don't feel like a failure.  I really don't feel like I failed.  I did everything I could.  I just feel empty and sad.  I know there are new better things to come.  I get that.  And I'm looking forward to that.  But right now sadness is all I feel.

ETA:  You couldn't have paid me enough to move away from my kids when they were in their teens.  No way no how.  He chose a woman over his son and he will, in the long run, end up losing a lot with his son.  I think his second ex wanted things to work out between us because I treated her son so well.  She is about done with him now.  I think she's just fed up and ready to let him do whatever.  I think she knows he will grow apart from his son and is okay with that.  I think she just wants him to be gone at this point.

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Sunday 14th of June 2020 02:55:21 PM

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 njn, sounds like what you are mourning the loss of your marriage and the time you put into it, all the hopes, time and dreams. It will get better in time.

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  And it’s ok to feel a bit sa.

I remember feeling like a death had happened when my marriage ended. You go through the same process.

I left my ex and let him wallow in the house with half the furniture and furnishings. My grandmother had passed away and I got enough of her beautiful cherry & mahogany antique furniture to furnish my new place and I bought new sofas so I had a fresh start with heirlooms to remember my grandparents. I didn't mourn anything. I felt a sense of calm and freedom for the first time in the 5 years we were together. I think I shed one tear as I drove away and "A Bad Goodbye" by Wynonna Judd was on the radio.

A friend who helped move me said, "even the strongest of oaks needs to shed a branch or two in order to become stronger." I never forgot that.

Aww Lily, that is sad. Just hug him


Well, waxed and pedi today, back to normal I guess.

The death of a pet is like losing a beloved family member. Some of us are closer to our pets than our people.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Yes, I am. We had planned our lives together forever. Now it's all gone. I feel like he stole my future. I know this feeling will pass but I'm ready for it to go.

ETA:  It's really hard to look at all the empty spaces in my house where his stuff was and not be sad.  I did, however, buy a smart tv.  We were never allowed to have anything like that because he felt like the government monitored them all listening for some kind of information they could use against you.  So I got one for my bedroom.  I also got a ring for my front door which was another no no.

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Sunday 14th of June 2020 04:06:59 PM

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 I remember when I left my ex.  It was like there was a giant hole in my future.  The life we had planned, the kids we had planned, it was none of it and none of them existed (of course, they didn't actually exist, but the idea and plan and desire for them existed).  I remember feeling like I could actually see the glass shatter in front of my eyes.

Tignanello wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Yes, I am. We had planned our lives together forever. Now it's all gone. I feel like he stole my future. I know this feeling will pass but I'm ready for it to go.

ETA:  It's really hard to look at all the empty spaces in my house where his stuff was and not be sad.  I did, however, buy a smart tv.  We were never allowed to have anything like that because he felt like the government monitored them all listening for some kind of information they could use against you.  So I got one for my bedroom.  I also got a ring for my front door which was another no no.

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Sunday 14th of June 2020 04:06:59 PM

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 I remember when I left my ex.  It was like there was a giant hole in my future.  The life we had planned, the kids we had planned, it was none of it and none of them existed (of course, they didn't actually exist, but the idea and plan and desire for them existed).  I remember feeling like I could actually see the glass shatter in front of my eyes.

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 Yes.  So much this.  It's like my future was ripped away from me.  Everything I thought and hoped for gone.  I know I shouldn't be sad.  BFF is on the horizon and a whole new future is waiting for me.  And yet at the same time I don't think it's healthy to not grieve and feel the loss.  I don't think it's good to move on without processing the feelings.  But at the end of the day I'm okay.  I'll be okay.  Tomorrow my kids come back.  They make me happy.