Good afternoon! Fwm, my life isn’t too exciting either, but I kind of like it that way. Nice day here, but didn’t take the kids out because baby girl isn’t feeling to good:(. This is all a half day so I’m sure she is getting a lot of cuddles from mommy. I need to put lunch dishes in the dishwasher, fold some clothes. Enjoy your pool time with Cate
Yes and no. It started a couple months ago but has really gotten bad in the past couple weeks. He hasn't been this moody since the terrible twos.
He sure ate a bushel of lemons today. I picked him up from school and he started his homework. I reminded him that his is not to do homework in the car. His handwriting is atrocious and they're cracking down on handwriting this year so he needs to do his best. You would've thought he was being skinned alive with how loud he kicked off. Sheesh. He just got done having a tantrum because his charging cord wasn't charging. He got doubly offended because my cord works. Well, gee, might it be because I don't abuse my cord? He tends to tangle his cords all together and bend them every which way. So, sourpuss untangled his cords and now they work. Imagine that!
Keep an eye on that, chef. #1 went through that and it turned out to be depression. Talk to the teachers/school counselor and see if anything is going on at school or if they have noticed a change in him.
Keep an eye on that, chef. #1 went through that and it turned out to be depression. Talk to the teachers/school counselor and see if anything is going on at school or if they have noticed a change in him.
How do I tell the difference between depression vs puberty hormones vs him just being an arse?
ETA: The school year just started. It will take a few months before he shows his rear end in class. It will happen once he gets comfy with his teacher. He's in impress the teacher mode still.
-- Edited by chef on Thursday 28th of July 2022 08:39:35 PM
Just find out if he plays with anyone else at school during recess, etc., or if he plays alone. And if he has any sensitivities to touch, sounds, etc., and if he has meltdowns when things don't go his way or if he expects everything to be the same.
I thought my son was hormonal and/or just being an ass, too, but it was far more. It started for my son when he was 8 almost 9. How old is yours?
Just find out if he plays with anyone else at school during recess, etc., or if he plays alone. And if he has any sensitivities to touch, sounds, etc., and if he has meltdowns when things don't go his way or if he expects everything to be the same.
I thought my son was hormonal and/or just being an ass, too, but it was far more. It started for my son when he was 8 almost 9. How old is yours?
He's a popular kid. Lots of friends. Very social. Last year, he liked DH to go with him in the mornings and DH would note that other kids would want DS to sit with them for breakfast. He's well-known at his school. He has had his share of fights over the years but nothing beyond normal age-appropriate kid stuff. No sensitivities to touch, sound, etc. He does fine with the routine at school and isn't bothered by subs. He likes showing off so he enjoys putting on his impress the sub mode. He very much likes being the leader and had to learn that he needs to share the spotlight. He struggled with learning to share the spotlight when he was in preschool but has since learned that he's not the only kid in class. He's been at the same school since preschool so he's well-versed with the environment of that school and its expectations. He largely does well with the school rules and understands that he must follow them.
At home, however, a switch flips and he's an arse. He will fight me on the tiniest of things. He will sull up and spend the better part of an hour refusing to get his rear end in gear when we have to leave to go shopping or want to go out to eat or whatever. He is often defiant and rude. I'm disabled and not physically able to physically deal with him (as in forcibly dressing him and dragging him out the door) without hurting myself but do so anyway and deal with the soreness and bruises because I refuse to be bested by a child. He acts like he should just be able to stay home all the time and doesn't grasp that that isn't feasible. DH is the only one who works and we can't afford for him to be out of work so I don't want him in harm's way.
What does cause him to have meltdowns is the stupidest crap. For example, Monday night he had a splinter in the bottom of his foot. The splinter was about the width of a hair. Tiny little thing. He said it hurts when he touches it. He wants it out. Ok then. But, he doesn't want me to touch it. He wants me to look at it. He wants me to get it out. But not touch it. Now, stuff like this causes my brain to explode. I don't have the natural mother instinct by any definition. I just don't. I can't fathom the sheer illogic of this situation. Anyway. I told him he can either grab the first aid kit so I can get it out or he can leave it in his foot and go back to his room. He wants to know what I'm going to use to get it out. Tweezers. Oh no. Wrong answer. Can't I use my nails? I could but I can't grip well enough since the splinter is so small so not this time. So he whines about it but gets the first aid kit. I tell him to grab the rubbing alcohol so I can sterilize the tweezers. Dude proceeded to work himself into a lather of epic proportions that lasted almost 45 minutes. All because I put rubbing alcohol on the tweezers to sterilize them. He had himself thoroughly convinced that it was going to HURT and BE THE WORST PAIN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. When he finally shut up and let me get the stupid splinter out, it took me about 2 seconds and was pain-free. He sniffled and said that it didn't hurt at all. Then, as he always does, he said he didn't know why he freaked out about it cuz he knows he wouldn't really hurt. So, he does know that his making a mountain out of a molehill is ridiculous and unfounded and he is cognizant of that but he does it anyway. Argh!
Sounds a little like my #2. Worries about the treatment more than the injury.
Both boys reached a point where they would follow directions from DH rather than from me. DH has more patience so that's probably key. I lack patience. I feel your struggle.
One thing we learned in therapy was that the boys considered me to be the nurturer in the family. That shocked me because I never thought of myself as the nurturing type. But then when #1 started crying and of course then #2 (because when one cries they both cry, even at age 14), I got on the floor with them and hugged them both. I whispered, oh crap, I am a nurturer, which of course made them both laugh.
Sounds a little like my #2. Worries about the treatment more than the injury.
Both boys reached a point where they would follow directions from DH rather than from me. DH has more patience so that's probably key. I lack patience. I feel your struggle.
One thing we learned in therapy was that the boys considered me to be the nurturer in the family. That shocked me because I never thought of myself as the nurturing type. But then when #1 started crying and of course then #2 (because when one cries they both cry, even at age 14), I got on the floor with them and hugged them both. I whispered, oh crap, I am a nurturer, which of course made them both laugh.
I suspect you are more maternal than you realize.
I lack patience as well. DH isn't the most patient person but he's a natural with kids so he relates better to DS. DH can handle the illogic of kid stuff way, way better than I can. I take one look and say nope. DH would tell you I'm the same way with adults. Back when he managed to peel his nail mostly off when he stubbed his toe, he was acting like a giant baby over it. I offered to cut the nail off for him or he could do it himself or he could deal with it but I wasn't going to tolerate him whining about it. He called me a b. Yep. The shoe fit. I just don't comprehend the point of whining endlessly about how much something hurts rather than just fixing it. Yea, the pain sucks but it's gonna continue to suck if you don't do something about it.
I'm the disciplinarian. DH is the softie. DS knows this and he definitely plays this angle for all its worth. DH has been trying hard over the past few months to put his foot down more because he's seen how DS will play him. DH has remarked many times how he doesn't understand how I can look at that cute face and say no. It's easy for me. I look at the world around me and see adults who weren't told "NO!" as children and are now screwing up my country. I won't be raising another such adult. The older DS gets, the more DH is realizing how important it is that he, too, puts his foot down and tells DS no.
What I don't understand though is that DS is so weird with his injuries. He busted his head open and was madder than a wet hen that he couldn't stay and play at the park. But, a tiny splinter? Apocalypse! I pointed that out to him and he shrugged. He said he didn't know he was going to bust his head open so he didn't have time to think about how much it was going to hurt. Ok, but, when you did bust it open and felt the pain, you still wanted to stay and play even though you were really hurting and blood was running down your face. He just shrugged. But, he'll flip his crap over a tiny splinter.
I can't wait until he has kids of his own, if he does. If they're anything like him, I am going to have so, so much fun watching him raise miniature versions of himself
I believe he’s a little young to be in puberty, my grandson at age 6 gets emotional and then cops a attitude, my daughter in law takes away his video games, he hates that and he has to earn his privilege back, they also are teaching him to self calm, he still has moments, but not as often anymore. I read that kids will let loose on the parents their stress and frustrations at home because they know their parents love them no matter what. Doesn’t mean we let them, Which I’m sure you don’t. Parenting is a learning process and kids are all unique
I believe he’s a little young to be in puberty, my grandson at age 6 gets emotional and then cops a attitude, my daughter in law takes away his video games, he hates that and he has to earn his privilege back, they also are teaching him to self calm, he still has moments, but not as often anymore. I read that kids will let loose on the parents their stress and frustrations at home because they know their parents love them no matter what. Doesn’t mean we let them, Which I’m sure you don’t. Parenting is a learning process and kids are all unique
Kids are entering puberty younger and younger. I'm hoping he still has at least a couple years but his attitude has me wondering.
He definitely hates when he has privileges taken away. Depending on what he has done, it can take him awhile to earn whatever it is back. He still thinks he can out-stubborn me even though he never has.
I wonder if it’s our diet, my sister was nine years old when she started the monthly, this was in the 1950’s before I was born, I do believe it was more rare back then. My granddaughter is starting to ge moody, but she always was and I hope she can wait awhile before that begins
I wonder if it’s our diet, my sister was nine years old when she started the monthly, this was in the 1950’s before I was born, I do believe it was more rare back then. My granddaughter is starting to ge moody, but she always was and I hope she can wait awhile before that begins
That's what I read - that it's our diet causing early onset puberty.
