Prudie counsels a woman hounded by gossip that she secretly put a disabled baby up for adoption.
Q. Not a Mother of Twins: I gave birth to a beautiful baby who is now 7 months old. A bizarre rumor went around that I actually had twins, and I adopted out the disabled child and kept the healthy baby. This is not true, as I would have definitely noticed another baby coming out of me. At first I laughed it off but after months of evil glares, outright rudeness, and weird questions, it’s no longer funny. I don’t know how to prove the nonexistence of this “other baby” and some people seem intent to believe what they want to believe. My husband is outraged and has even considered legal recourse, although we can’t trace the rumor-starter. How can I clear my name, short of posting my entire medical file on social media?
A: What a weird, pernicious situation you are in. Since you are getting strange questions, that gives you an opening to address this directly. To the next person who makes this appalling insinuation, just say, “My husband and I have heard there is an ugly and false rumor going around that I had twins. I did not, and if you can help me get to the source of this slander, I would really appreciate it. We’re thinking of bringing legal action.” Tell this widely, especially to the blabbiest people in your circle. Let’s hope that the truth starts getting around. It may even shake out a name of the original source. If you do find out who spread this lie, you can go to a lawyer and get a cease and desist letter—with a warning about further legal action—delivered to this sicko.
Q. Re: Not a Mother Of Twins: A few years ago, a situation I was involved in was spread around a gossip mill and greatly exaggerated. It is a horrible feeling that people think things about you that are false and fabricated. I had a difficult time with this, but I found saying something very brief like, “I don’t know where this rumor started, but it is exactly that—a rumor and nothing more,” was helpful. As an aside, this will help you separate the people in your life that are genuine and those that are fake. There is a silver lining in here, it just takes some time to get there.
A: Thanks for this insight about how to get to the other side. In your case, there was a situation that was embroidered on. In the letter writer’s case, the rumor is utterly false. That needs to be stated very clearly.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
Don't explain period. It is none of the damn business one way or the other. And, btw, explaining never helps, it's just adding fuel to the fire. Your friends don't need any explanations and your enemies won't believe them anyway so heck with them. Going out of your way to deny it will only make it that much worse in my opinion.
Who starts rumors like this? Why? I don't understand why anyone would do that.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Part of me thinks she should make the gossipmongers feel really bad and tell them the twin died in birth, and they were hoping to get through it without having anything public.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Part of me thinks she should make the gossipmongers feel really bad and tell them the twin died in birth, and they were hoping to get through it without having anything public.
People do things like this because (1) they're mean and nasty, and (2) it makes them feel powerful when they have no real power or control in their own lives.
make the gossipmongers feel really bad and tell them the twin died in birth
That would just make it escalate. They would start saying that she'd killed her defective baby.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
