TOTALLY GEEKED!

NAOW wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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Truth-or-Consequences wrote:

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No one can control what happens, only limit where it happens as much as possible.

If schools make it 100% impossible on school grounds (not that that's likely... but... work with me here), the bullying will just happen on the way home from school or on the way too school. or in the McDonald's the first time they see the person they want to bully there.

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 and this is where parents, bystanders and society at large need to step in.  It takes a village to raise a child and we all have a hand.  If I'm at McD's (okay, I'll admit that I am not usually at McDs) and see a group of kids picking on one?  I'll step in.  I would expect others to as well.

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 Bingo! As long as we make excuses and look the other way we can't expect anything to change.

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 I agree.  I agree with what Husker is saying too. When it comes to my kid I'm not hanging her happiness on hoping other people do the right thing.

 DD's school seems to do a good job- there is a lot more focus than when I was in school anyway. There is a constant dialogue, they get the kids involved, and encourage them to reach out to other kids or step in if a kid is being picked on. She is only in elementary school though, so I'm not sure how well those same approaches would work for older kids. 

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 I actually think it's harder for kids in high school. Whether they're ready or not we expect them to deal with stuff that even some adults have a really hard time with.

I did not see a single person on this thread who said we should ignore or not punish bullies. But we used to teach our kids " sticks and stones can break ny bones but names can never hurt me" and I think that little saying was a very effective tool and I remember kids yelling that back at bulliies. It was one small way of empowering kids.

Tinydancer wrote:

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Truth-or-Consequences wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Truth-or-Consequences wrote:

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Yes we have... It's me... RichardInTN. Long time no chat!

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 Why do I know this name? Have we met? If not nice to meet you TOC!

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If nothing else, you might remember me as the "creator" of the "Junk Drawer" on GT... it survived LONG after my removal.

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 No. It's not that. I've heard you're name here and I think you're a black sheep or something like that...lol

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 Ohh... I believe I have seen my name mentioned a time or two since this board's inception. Not really a black sheep (naturally) per se... more like a sheep that's been spray-painted black by others.

-- Edited by Truth-or-Consequences on Saturday 6th of December 2014 11:30:36 PM

Ahhh. Now I see. You should probably should try not to piss off the powers that be then.

-- Edited by Tinydancer twice because I can't spell for some reasoner on Saturday 6th of December 2014 11:28:05 PM

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Saturday 6th of December 2014 11:33:32 PM

What a shame. It was kind of intriguing.

Truth-or-Consequences wrote:

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Not yet... but probably soon.

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 I thought you got, um, separated  . . .  

Tinydancer wrote:

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Ahhh. Now I see. You should probably should try not to piss off the powers that be then.

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Well... I'll try not to. But I doubt if my efforts will have any effect.

Tignanello wrote:

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Truth-or-Consequences wrote:

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Not yet... but probably soon.

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 I thought you got, um, separated  . . .  

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LOL... naaah... was moderating/posting on another board I'm a moderator on... so I disappeared from the little green men because I was gone more than whatever their timer is set to.

Quoting Bob Marley by the way. Credit where credit is due.

Tinydancer wrote:

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Quoting Bob Marley by the way. Credit where credit is due.

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 Oh. Missed it.

And they say it is a capital offense.

Tinydancer wrote:

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No one can control what happens? Really? So we send our kids to school for eight hours a day and just throw our hands up about what's allowed to happen? Spoken like a person who allows this to happen because of course boys will be boys and girls will be girls and why do anything at all and you'll never stop all bullying. How about we stop the blatant stuff or is that too much to ask?

 

In answer to Husker. Not LGS.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Saturday 6th of December 2014 10:50:25 PM

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You can't control what happens.  I've raised two kids--to think you can control everything that happens during the school day--PLUS everything that happens outside of it is purely delusional.   

Tinydancer wrote:

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So you're answer is to just keep doing what we're doing? How's that working for you?

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Very well, actually.   

Not teaching kids how to manage their own isn't helping them in anyway. Saying "poor baby" when Johnny called them a Poo Poo Head doesn't help your child. Yes, the teacher needs to take Johnny aside and correct him for name calling. And, if he persists, then a trip to the Principal, and up the administrative chain. But, how does correcting Johnny help your kid? If you don't ALSO teach your child how to be resilient, how to stand up for him/herself, and teach your child that yes, there are some real Aholes in the world and no you do not have to accept the words of idiots as your personal truth, then you are failing your child.
Sorry, not everyone has to LIKE your child.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Ok. It's not what you said what's so ever...lol. Then please explain because it seems to me you think these kids should just be able to deal because mom and dad said I love you enough and told them not to believe the bullies. Kids do not think like that and saying that is a solution pretty much puts it right back on the kid.

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Sorry--but it is largely on the kid.  You can't change the world to accommodate you.  You can't change the world to accommodate your kid.

If you want to march to the beat of your own drummer--great--but you better have the mental fortitude and resilience to deal with that, and if that is your kid, you'd better be teaching them that. 

 

If you are teaching your kid that they can do whatever they want to--and everyone will react positively to it and things will all be great, then you are doing your child a great disservice.

Bullies are not going away--and there is only so much that can be done to reign in that type of behavior, especially with the omnipresent social media.  The school can only control what happen during school--and even that is difficult. 

No one can really control what happens online or on cell phones.   

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 I'm glad you're not my dad. My dad would be on my side. Not making excuses for the damn bully. Some kids are bullied for things they have no control over. So what do they do then. Just take it like a man and the hell with dealing with the damn bullies. I never said anything about cyber bulling. The answer to that is don't go online. I'm not sure what you want some kid with a lisp to do about the freaking bully who makes his life hell while you tell him to man up and LGS tells him he's loved...lol. That sure seems to be working so well.

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It makes ZERO difference whose "side" anyone is on.  You can't change the world to fit your view just because you want it that way.  

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 So do nothing because Huskers says that's just the way the world is. Bull.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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No one can control what happens? Really? So we send our kids to school for eight hours a day and just throw our hands up about what's allowed to happen? Spoken like a person who allows this to happen because of course boys will be boys and girls will be girls and why do anything at all and you'll never stop all bullying. How about we stop the blatant stuff or is that too much to ask?

 

In answer to Husker. Not LGS.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Saturday 6th of December 2014 10:50:25 PM

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You can't control what happens.  I've raised two kids--to think you can control everything that happens during the school day--PLUS everything that happens outside of it is purely delusional.   

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 You keep bringing up social media. I've clearly stated if social media is the problem then just don't use it but when kids are being bullied and the only ones paying the consequence are them, not the bullies, that's just messed up. Clearly in your world there's nothing we can do about it but I don't think you say "oh well, that's just the way it is" and leave this kids to just buck up and take it.

Ugh. I see the victim blamers are on their game! Good job! /end sarcasm

Ahhh, excuse me. He said in his post that there's nothing to be done. How is me pointing that out mean I can't handle a difference of opinion? Seems to me you're having a problem with my difference of opinion...Geeesh

He said there's nothing that can be done. Go tell him that. And where did I ever say it's possible to stop all bullying. I said we need to do more about it but because you don't agree you're just doing what he does and twist words. Aren't you the one that always says it not all or nothing...lol

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Sunday 7th of December 2014 11:04:25 AM

Well, I didn't blame either one. But, I do support disciplining the bullies AND teaching your children how to stand up for themselves. But, yes, if your child is putting himself out there and in a way that different or draws attention, you also need to prepare your child for the backlash as well. I was a tom boy. I was the only girl to take Shop class and Woodshop class. So, yes, you have to be prepared that not everyone is going to agree with what you do. We are failing our kids if we are teaching them that the WORLD must agree with and approve of what they do. You need to teach your kids that who gives a damn if others "agree" with you or not?

I agree. It's my choice how to parent my kid and if I want to support her less than common choices, it's my responsibility to teach my kid how to handle pushback. When that pushback crosses the line from typical kid **** to bullying, I'm stepping in.

-- Edited by voiceofreason on Sunday 7th of December 2014 11:16:15 AM

Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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No one can control what happens? Really? So we send our kids to school for eight hours a day and just throw our hands up about what's allowed to happen? Spoken like a person who allows this to happen because of course boys will be boys and girls will be girls and why do anything at all and you'll never stop all bullying. How about we stop the blatant stuff or is that too much to ask?

 

In answer to Husker. Not LGS.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Saturday 6th of December 2014 10:50:25 PM

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You can't control what happens.  I've raised two kids--to think you can control everything that happens during the school day--PLUS everything that happens outside of it is purely delusional.   

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 You keep bringing up social media. I've clearly stated if social media is the problem then just don't use it but when kids are being bullied and the only ones paying the consequence are them, not the bullies, that's just messed up. Clearly in your world there's nothing we can do about it but I don't think you say "oh well, that's just the way it is" and leave this kids to just buck up and take it.

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What, pray tell, do you think we can do?  Despite DECADES of school forums, teacher education, anti-bullying programs, "zero tolerance" rules for bullying--there continues to be bullies. 

Sure, IF you can catch them in overt acts you can punish individuals--but that will do little to nothing to solve the overall problem.

 

You are long on b!tching but precious short on any real solutions.   

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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No one can control what happens? Really? So we send our kids to school for eight hours a day and just throw our hands up about what's allowed to happen? Spoken like a person who allows this to happen because of course boys will be boys and girls will be girls and why do anything at all and you'll never stop all bullying. How about we stop the blatant stuff or is that too much to ask?

 

In answer to Husker. Not LGS.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Saturday 6th of December 2014 10:50:25 PM

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You can't control what happens.  I've raised two kids--to think you can control everything that happens during the school day--PLUS everything that happens outside of it is purely delusional.   

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 You keep bringing up social media. I've clearly stated if social media is the problem then just don't use it but when kids are being bullied and the only ones paying the consequence are them, not the bullies, that's just messed up. Clearly in your world there's nothing we can do about it but I don't think you say "oh well, that's just the way it is" and leave this kids to just buck up and take it.

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What, pray tell, do you think we can do?  Despite DECADES of school forums, teacher education, anti-bullying programs, "zero tolerance" rules for bullying--there continues to be bullies. 

Sure, IF you can catch them in overt acts you can punish individuals--but that will do little to nothing to solve the overall problem.

 

You are long on b!tching but precious short on any real solutions.   

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 Coming from you that is highly hilarious. I said the punishment for the bullies is not harsh enough. Make sure the damn bullies know that if they even get caught doing it once there are big consequences, not the little slap on the wrist they get now. Can you not debate without swearing? I don't argue with juveniles so if you continue to swear for absolutely no reason you can argue with yourself.

You say I'm bitching and that's not an insult but when I tell you the swearing is juvenile that is? Go argue with yourself.