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Post Info TOPIC: How To Discuss Nudity Without Scarring Your Kids


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How To Discuss Nudity Without Scarring Your Kids
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How To Discuss Nudity Without Scarring Your Kids

Posted: 12/29/2014 3:06 pm EST Updated: 12/29/2014 10:59 pm EST

 
 

 

 

As a parent, it's tough to truly have time to yourself. So what happens when your child walks in on you as you’re undressing for the evening or as you’re headed into the shower? Is it appropriate for your kids to see you nude?

While it’s important to consider your child’s age and development when discussing nudity, child psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish assured parents of one thing.

“You are not scarring your children,” she told HuffPost Live host Nancy Redd on Monday.

Since children are not “thinking sexually” until ages 6 or 7, discussing nudity provides an opportunity to learn about differences between the male and female anatomies, Walfish continued.

A child’s upbringing can also impact their attitudes toward nudity. Freelance writer Kate Messinger said her family was “always naked” when she was growing up. In fact, it took one rather awkward encounter for her to realize that lounging around while nude wasn’t as common as she thought.

“It was never a big thing, and I think I only realized it was a problem was when a friend came over and saw my dad naked,” she said. “And I’m sure she had never seen a dad or a man naked before. I suddenly realized, ‘Oh, maybe this isn’t something that everyone else is experiencing.’”

Blogger and mother Rita Templeton's openness about nudity stems from a desire to challenge the standard image of female bodies.

“My whole point was wanting to expose my sons to a female body that wasn’t sexual,” she said. “I don’t want them to grow up to look at women and women’s bodies as pieces of meat. I don’t want to raise those guys.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/29/parents-nudity-kids_n_6391872.html

 



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According to my kids, I have already scarred them, lol. Our bedrooms are all across from one another with the upstairs bathroom at the top of the hall. My bedroom is a few steps out of the bathroom. And, the bathroom isn't very big. Sooo, naturally, I just don a towel and peak out into the hall and then scurry into my room to get changed. Well occasionally, I didn't hear my kids upstairs or whatever and maybe the towel didn't quite cover my backside. Oh freaking well!

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We are a "naked family". Lol. If I am getting dressed and I need something from the other room and I am naked, I go get it. Big deal. Same with DH. We don't force the kids to be naked. One of the girls is a naked person, always has been. The other isn't. No biggie.

The human body isn't something to be ashamed of. We all have butts, we all have nipples. Big freaking whoop. The more you make nudity scandalous or "wrong", the more some kids will want to see it or do it. And as soon as kids learn that not everyone looks like the naked people on tv or in magazines, the better off they will be.

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I don't see the big deal. We live together. I don't walk around that way, but there is going to be incidental nudity. Walking in on someone in the restroom or bathroom. Or, maybe I need to get into the bathroom to get my contact lenses. Or maybe I am changing in my bedroom and they just walk in without knocking. It happens. So what?

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Oh I definatley walk around that way. Lol

As I said, not as a habit or as a rule. But if I am just out of the shower and toweling off in my room and I forgot my lotion in the bathroom, I will walk naked to the bathroom to get it. Or walk naked to the living room to grab my phone. Whatever. No big deal.

DD used to have what she called "naked days" as a toddler. She didn't want to wear clothes at all for the day. Usually we got her to wear undies. But she would peel off her clothes as soon as she could when she got home from preschool. She was a weirdo. Lol. She is totally normal and a bit private now, so no harm done.

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Well, I will scoot from my bedroom to the bathroom in my bday suit. However, I dont' usually go downstairs. We live right across from the Kindergarten and I never am quite sure what time the mailman drops the mail on my front porch and the curtains aren't completely closed so probably not a good plan for me.

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I can top that. I have a kindergarten in my basement! Lol They don't have access to my living area, but it is down there! Also the elementary cafeteria is in my building. Thankfully, our windows are up high and they couldn't see me if they tried.

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LOL!

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However, the Oooh Grosss! comments do tend to get annoying!

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Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

However, the Oooh Grosss! comments do tend to get annoying!


 ???

 

Never heard that. It's just not a thing with us. 



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Oh, well my kids are "Mooooommmm!" !!

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They need desensitized. The solution? More nudity!!!! Lol

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It never bothered me, when my kids were growing up. I remember taking baths together, with DS2 at least.

Now, when they got older, I always respected their need for privacy.

flan

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Mellow Momma wrote:

They need desensitized. The solution? More nudity!!!! Lol


Nah, it's just too  darn cold.  I would have to live on the Equator to want to go about naked.  However, removing the evil torture device called a Bra is very freeing.  biggrin 



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:

They need desensitized. The solution? More nudity!!!! Lol


Nah, it's just too  darn cold.  I would have to live on the Equator to want to go about naked.  However, removing the evil torture device called a Bra is very freeing.  biggrin 


 UNDERWIRE...furious

I really need to buy some comfortable bras.

flan



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So most of Europe must be scarred...that explains it all.

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For another take on this...

 

Dear Prudence - Help! I Found My 11-Year-Old Twins Sleeping Naked Together.

 

Q. Double Trouble: I have wonderful 11-year-old twin children, “Evan” and “Franny,” a boy and a girl. They’ve had separate rooms since they were 7. In the past few months, I’ve woken up to find them in the same bed and intertwined about a dozen times. I don’t think anything is going on, but they do both sleep in the nude, and my daughter does already have pubic hair. What, if anything, should I do to discourage this? I don’t want them to have negative ideas about sex, but I also don’t want my two kids hooking up! 

A: You need to talk about this with them and put a stop to it. It’s one thing for siblings of the opposite gender to bathe together when little, etc. It’s another for two kids who have been sleeping separately to, at the cusp of puberty, spend the night naked in the same bed. You and your spouse need to sit down with the kids and calmly ask what’s going on. Then you need to say that you love that they’re close and comfortable with each other, but they are just too old for sleeping nude together. Explain they’re reaching puberty—and I hope you’ve had some talks with them about the changes puberty brings—and that they need to respect each other’s privacy and set some physical boundaries. You need to keep your eye on this, and if you become concerned they’re exploring sexually with each other, discuss this with a professional. 



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I think you have to teach kids some modesty. My house was always full of my sons friends. But, as she got older, she need to get ready for bed in the evening so I started kicking them out the door earlier because she needed time to be at home getting ready for bed without a bunch of smelly boys romping through the house.

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We bathed and showered together until the little hands became curious. That is when it became a solo shower.

We don't walk around nude. Modesty is a good thing. Nothing wrong with it.

The body is one of God's most amazing creations, but mine is mine and yours is yours and unless married, they are not for each other.

Yes the accidental occurrence has happened. Someone not locking the bathroom door or something like that.

I have taught my kids that their bodies are precious and not to be taken for granted or cheapened.



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I don't make a big deal of it. My bathroom door has french doors without locks. They boys are taught to knock and wait for a response before entering. Inside my bathroom is my walk-in closet, where I get dressed. Once in awhile they forget to knock and enter, but I don't make a big deal, even if I'm buck naked, but I ask them to wait outside until I am dressed.

I've never been a particularly modest person. I don't flaunt, but if "caught", I laugh it off and go on with my day. My boys have inherited that same trait. #1 is currently going through a phase where he likes to shake his (often times, naked) rear end at us. Fortunately he doesn't do that outside of the house, but still, I'm trying to stop that. Last night I was using the toilet and he came in and shook it in my face so when I was done, I shook mine in his. He screamed and hid in the corner. So far he hasn't done that again.

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Just out of curiosity, why ask them to leave while you get dressed if they walk in on you? If nudity is no big deal?

I would probably just continue to do what I was doing, as I would if they walked in on me cleaning the toilet.

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FNW wrote:

I don't make a big deal of it. My bathroom door has french doors without locks. They boys are taught to knock and wait for a response before entering. Inside my bathroom is my walk-in closet, where I get dressed. Once in awhile they forget to knock and enter, but I don't make a big deal, even if I'm buck naked, but I ask them to wait outside until I am dressed.

I've never been a particularly modest person. I don't flaunt, but if "caught", I laugh it off and go on with my day. My boys have inherited that same trait. #1 is currently going through a phase where he likes to shake his (often times, naked) rear end at us. Fortunately he doesn't do that outside of the house, but still, I'm trying to stop that. Last night I was using the toilet and he came in and shook it in my face so when I was done, I shook mine in his. He screamed and hid in the corner. So far he hasn't done that again.


 HA!!

I bet you cured him wink



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I hope so. I'll even be a little happy if it traumatized him, just a tad. LOL

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I'm pretty modest. It's not really a choice I made, it's just how I am. DD is getting to an age where I ask for privacy more and more. I don't like her in the bathroom with me anymore, if she comes in, I don't freak out, but ask her to wait until I'm done. I don't mind her in the room while I am changing, but I wouldn't want to shower with her like I did when she was little.

I think it would make a difference if I had sons. I would probably be more modest.

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I don't know how I will deal with nudity as my son ages. I want him to know there's a time and place for things. I assume he will run around in his underwear at home just like DH does. He's been following me to the bathroom ever since he learned to crawl so I'm already used to that. The design of our bathroom is stupid and makes shutting the door inconvenient. I'll probably teach him that it's polite to let others do their business without watching them once he gets the hang of potty-training. As he gets older, he will learn that if he doesn't want to see Mom's parts, he ought not enter the bedroom unannounced.

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I don't think nudity, by itself, is a big deal in a family setting. That could be in a home, or at a nude destination like a beach. As long as intimacy is kept out of the equation. People have parts, everyone knows, or will know sooner or later, what those parts are.

Intimacy should only be the business of those being intimate, and never the business of children (reference: ed11563's "Dear Prudence" letter, earlier).

Regarding the implied question in the thread title, tell the kids "if you want to be nude while it's just family, here at home, make sure you sit on a towel" That should be all the discussion that's necessary.

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