TOTALLY GEEKED!

Blankie wrote:

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Southern_Belle wrote:

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Blankie wrote:

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My mother came home from the hospital tonight. She has a seizure disorder.

She's talking ragtime, very confused, disconcerting.

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 Is that going to improve with time? Sending prayers. 

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Thanks for the prayers.

We don't know yet. My sister needs to talk more with the doctors tomorrow. They're putting her on a seizure medication.

It's getting harder to care for them both at home. My father with Alzheimer's and in a wheelchair.

We all need to face that maybe we just can't keep caring for them 24/7 at home.

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 This is a very difficult thing to face.  I'm sorry.

Blankie wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Blankie wrote:

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Southern_Belle wrote:

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Blankie wrote:

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My mother came home from the hospital tonight. She has a seizure disorder.

She's talking ragtime, very confused, disconcerting.

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 Is that going to improve with time? Sending prayers. 

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Thanks for the prayers.

We don't know yet. My sister needs to talk more with the doctors tomorrow. They're putting her on a seizure medication.

It's getting harder to care for them both at home. My father with Alzheimer's and in a wheelchair.

We all need to face that maybe we just can't keep caring for them 24/7 at home.

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 This is a very difficult thing to face.  I'm sorry.

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 Thanks. I'm actually more concerned about my sister right now than about my parents.

She is their primary caregiver. She has had chronic fatigue syndrome for many years, and she can't afford to be ruining her physical and mental health the way she is doing.

I'm afraid she's on the verge of a physical or nervous breakdown.

My mother has come to expect that her children will care for her and my dad in their home forever.

I don't think so.

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Are you and your sister putting together a plan? 

Blankie wrote:

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My mother came home from the hospital tonight. She has a seizure disorder.

She's talking ragtime, very confused, disconcerting.

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 And they released her from the hospital? I do not get that.  So sorry Blankie.

Blankie wrote:

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My mother came home from the hospital tonight. She has a seizure disorder.

She's talking ragtime, very confused, disconcerting.

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 I hope she gets better soon *hugs*

Divine Geek wrote:

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I have some major studying to do tonight. I have been chosen (by the president himself) to be part of an audit team. I feel honored, but woefully unprepared. Time to hit the books

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I think one of your strong points is your ability to apply logic. So if something doesn't make perfect sense to you, don't let anyone persuade you that it's just fine. 

Honeys_Mom wrote:

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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

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Blankie wrote:

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My mother came home from the hospital tonight. She has a seizure disorder.

She's talking ragtime, very confused, disconcerting.

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 And they released her from the hospital? I do not get that.  So sorry Blankie.

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 {{{Blankie}}}

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 Sometimes doctors are just clueless. They order elderly patients' discharge without any regard for the home situation they are going to, and whether it is at all manageable. They didn't ask what my Mom was going home to. She's incoherent and babbling and disoriented and doing crazy things, and her seizure disorder medication is not even ordered yet,  and she goes home to a husband with Alzheimer's who can't take care of himself.

My siblings and I will scramble, as we have after every hospital discharge, to do the home care. We have maxed out the home health aide coverage which is covered by insurance, and they only come 2 hours a day anyway. My sister has begged my mother to hire additional professional home care, but that would be on my mother's dime. Mom has the money but she won't spend it. She'd rather run her kids ragged. And she outright refuses to have her or Dad go to a facility.

I threw my back out Saturday trying to lift my Dad to do a transfer from wheelchair to toilet. We've had plenty of injuries like this, but that doesn't bother Mom in the least.

Most of us work full time. Those who don't try to cover the day shifts, together with the home health aides.

I'm wrung out. But I worry about my sister more - she is nearing a physical or mental breakdown. We can't cover 24/7. So if Mom continues the craziness and does something to compromise her or my Dad's safety, then so be it. We can't watch them every minute and she's so freaking stubborn she won't get 24/7 home care from professionals like she needs. She has the money for it, she just expects us all to drop our lives to live hers.

Sorry, I know I'm babbling and repeating myself. This probably belongs on the vent thread.

Lexxy wrote:

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That sucks Blankie. You & your siblings need to tell her you are done & she needs to hire professionals. If she doesn't tell her you are calling social services & they might force her into a home.

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 I agree. But I have a lot of siblings. And we do not all agree. My sister who is their health care proxy and is driving all the decision-making right now is not facing reality, and thinks we can all keep doing the caregiving. My other sister with chronic fatigue syndrome keeps martyring herself and won't say no to my mother's requests for more and more help. The rest of us, who work full-time, saw reality months ago, and have set limits on how much care we give. But my CFS sister just keeps rescuing Mom at the expense of her own health. The family dynamics are a big part of the problem. It is very complicated.

Blankie wrote:

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Lexxy wrote:

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That sucks Blankie. You & your siblings need to tell her you are done & she needs to hire professionals. If she doesn't tell her you are calling social services & they might force her into a home.

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 I agree. But I have a lot of siblings. And we do not all agree. My sister who is their health care proxy and is driving all the decision-making right now is not facing reality, and thinks we can all keep doing the caregiving. My other sister with chronic fatigue syndrome keeps martyring herself and won't say no to my mother's requests for more and more help. The rest of us, who work full-time, saw reality months ago, and have set limits on how much care we give. But my CFS sister just keeps rescuing Mom at the expense of her own health. The family dynamics are a big part of the problem. It is very complicated.

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If this is the case, I say do what you can do (eta: meaning what you want and are willing to do) and let the others pick up the slack, it wont be too long before they are ready to make some different decisions. 

NAOW wrote:

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Blankie wrote:

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Lexxy wrote:

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That sucks Blankie. You & your siblings need to tell her you are done & she needs to hire professionals. If she doesn't tell her you are calling social services & they might force her into a home.

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 I agree. But I have a lot of siblings. And we do not all agree. My sister who is their health care proxy and is driving all the decision-making right now is not facing reality, and thinks we can all keep doing the caregiving. My other sister with chronic fatigue syndrome keeps martyring herself and won't say no to my mother's requests for more and more help. The rest of us, who work full-time, saw reality months ago, and have set limits on how much care we give. But my CFS sister just keeps rescuing Mom at the expense of her own health. The family dynamics are a big part of the problem. It is very complicated.

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If this is the case, I say do what you can do (eta: meaning what you want and are willing to do) and let the others pick up the slack, it wont be too long before they are ready to make some different decisions. 

-- Edited by NAOW on Thursday 15th of January 2015 03:44:17 PM

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 I think that's what will eventually happen. It might actually be a good thing if my sister has a collapse, because it will force her to start saying no.