TOTALLY GEEKED!

Tell sister and BIL that there have been home invasions in the area, so you've gotten a shotgun, in case someone comes in uninvited.

Then put a big slide bolt on the door, and lock it when she's home.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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ed11563 wrote:

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Tell sister and BIL that there have been home invasions in the area, so you've gotten a shotgun, in case someone comes in uninvited.

Then put a big slide bolt on the door, and lock it when she's home.

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 This is perfect for while they are home.  Although, I really don't like the idea of someone feeling free to come and go when I'm not home, either.

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Good point. I have to wonder whether the entitled sister is stealing from her mother when no one's home, or going through Mom's personal or financial papers.

Years ago, I worked one day with a supplier's sales rep who was from Belleville, Ohio.  I was driving.

After we saw a customer, when we got back to the car, I saw that he had left his door unlocked.

When I asked him about it, he said he NEVER locks doors.

At home, no one ever even takes the keys out of their cars, and the house doors don't even HAVE locks.

 

I told him, we're in New York, where a small percentage of people are opportunity thieves. Some people here will steal anything that isn't nailed down or locked up, just to sell it to get their next fix.

And if he leaves the door of my car unlocked again, I'm going to take him straight back to the airport.

 

Time for a new thread with a  poll ... Have you ever been robbed by a burglar?

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Or, she could change the locks and only give brother an "emergency" key.

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 Its not her house.

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 She is a "rent paying adult tenant" so yes, it is.  Tenants have rights.  She could just move and leave mom without her rent, but mom probably needs it. 

Yeah I doubt she is paying much rent. Usually people living at home dont. And it is her Moms decision about the locked doors not hers. If she doesn't like it then move out.

It isn't the mom who has a problem with it.

So her way is " right" but suddenly her sister who has done this all her life is wrong? The one demanding to be right is the entitled OP.

And the OP is probably the one helping herself to moms stuff and goods .

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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And the OP is probably the one helping herself to moms stuff and goods .

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 Wow.  Now you are just making crap up with no basis at all. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Uh huh. Another non self supporting adult.

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 You don't know that, either.  She pays rent.  Maybe it's mom who NEEDED a tenant b/c she's living on social security. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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You are presuming mom needs her money as well. But in reality, most often those who live at home rack up more expenses than they pay in so called rent. So, let's stop presuming. If MOM wants the door locks changed, then MOM gets to make that decision. If Mom doesn't tell the other sis, then she has made a decision that it is fine with her. No decision is a decision. It isn't the OP's to make.

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Well, first - I only started presuming to counter your presumptions.  Which you are still making even in this comment.

 And I disagree - she lives there as well and pays rent to do so.  She has a right to privacy in her own home.

But she can solve this by telling Mom to fix it or she's moving out. 

Wow. The idea that any of us know what is going on in another's living arrangement is just crazy.

Different people. That is the key here.

If the OP is paying an agreed upon amount of money in rent, it doesn't matter how much it actually contributes. It is the agreed upon amount.

And as an agreed upon amount, it is a rent paying tenant. and tenants have rights.

So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. The OP has made a reasonable request. It should be honored.

Is it really that big of a deal to make your entrance known before or as you are entering someone else's home?

I know when I open the door to family's homes and generally knock as I am opening it or call out asking who is home.

It isn't like this request is a violation of their constitutional rights. It's knock on the door.

Perspective.

My brother does this and I don't like it, I think it's rude. Just knock on the door, you don't know what the other person might be in the middle of doing.

Masturbaiting? Exactly.

Lol or that

chef wrote:

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My parents and grandma both have a key to our apartment. They use their key and let themselves in when they come over. DH's parents would have a key too if they actually visited us in our home.

If we know a friend is coming over, we leave the door unlocked and they just come in when they arrive.

I can understand the LW's position but I more understand the mom's position.

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  Me too.   And, but not sure why the LW gets to be the one to change what the entire family wants to do.  My guess is that mom really doesn't care.  And, she is agreeing that "oh yeah, you shouldn't walk in on people" to her live in daughter but I doubt she cares all that much.  But, again it is HER decision to make and nobody else's.  She can tell LW, too bad, it is fine with me so like it or lump it.  Or, she can tell the other 2 that she is changing the locks and proceed to do just that.  Either way it is her prerogative.  And, LW knew the deal when she moved in.  If she doesn't like it, she can move out.  Tough taters about her "tenants' rights" in mom's house while she is no doubt eating off mom's plates and scarfing down mom's food.     

It isn't. But, it isn't her place to tell mom how to handle visitors.

That isn't what she is doing.

She wants common courtesy. That is all.

If she were asking that the sister make appointments, that would be too much.

All she asking for is a knock as she opens the door.

Would anyone's opinion be different if the mother had moved in with the daughter? To clarify: daughter owes the house and for whatever reason, mom moved in and pays daughter rent

My sisters and I just walk in my parents house. It is still considered "home" by us. My parents wouldn't hear the doorbell anyway so it would be useless to knock or ring the doorbell. If the door is unlocked, which most times it is, we just go in. They are always in the kitchen, and they don't hear anyone until they get to the kitchen doorway. It's interesting to hear what other families do. I just assumed most people operated that way. I also think that the fact that the sister is paying rent is irrelevant. I mean, really, is she walking around naked in the house in front of her mother? IF it is within reasonable hours, it shouldn't matter that the other sister just walks in.

-- Edited by tlc on Saturday 17th of January 2015 06:12:26 PM

Really? If you live at home by the grace of your parents and pay some piddly ass rent , you think you are entitled to tell your parents how to run their home?

You really don't know what you are talking about.

It doesn't say how much rent is paid. You know why? Cause it doesn't matter.

If this WASNT her mother, she was paying rent in some other person unrelated to her, would you still be saying the same thing? I don't think you would. You would be appalled that the landlord wasn't doing anything about this simple request.

The amount of money being paid has NOTHING to do with it. If the mother and daughter have an agreement, then the amount DOESNT matter.

You see that it is a daughter living with a parent and automatically think moocher. I don't understand why but that is what you are seeing.

I know that it doesn't matter what amount of money is being paid.

I know if this were anyone else besides the mother's house you wouldn't even be bringing it up.

I know you want to negate a simple request because of the relationship between the renter and landlord.

Whatever. It isn't worth arguing.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Yes. It's moms house not her house. And no u aren't going to claim some " tenants rights" bull pucky in your mom's house.

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 If you are paying rent you can. Because it isn't your mom, it's your landlord. What confuses you about that ?