I think some people get offended because they think if someone is being generous to them, it means they cannot do for themselves or take care of themselves. It's super sensitive for some people. Not sure why.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I think it is because we, as a whole, have lost our graciousness.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I think it is because we, as a whole, have lost our graciousness.
Agreed! And another issue is when someone is gracious to you, and you thank them properly, they sometimes still want you to be indebted to them. That's not cool either.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Aww! My bus buddy is an older gentleman. We talk Patriots all the time. Well sure enough he found my work address and sent me a beautiful Patriots sweatshirt. Beautiful, fleece lined.
So he got a call, a thank you note and lunch. I was just thrilled he was so nice about a gift. I thought it was the cutest.
Even simple things like accepting a compliment have become battlefields.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Like, if you have a big bag of second hand clothes that your kids hardly wore. If you offer them to someone will they be offended that you "think they can't afford" new clothes or will they think, "oh yeah, some extra play clothes would be great"? Seems you can't win no matter what!
Aww! My bus buddy is an older gentleman. We talk Patriots all the time. Well sure enough he found my work address and sent me a beautiful Patriots sweatshirt. Beautiful, fleece lined.
So he got a call, a thank you note and lunch. I was just thrilled he was so nice about a gift. I thought it was the cutest.
Oh, and a bottle of booze.
That was so wonderful of him! How sweet! And your response was perfect.
I have had people do wonderful things for us only to expect something in return. But that's part of what comes with being a coach's wife, so I am probably somewhat jaded. I can't tell you how many people will invite us to dinner, act like we are friends, and when their kid gets benched or doesnt play exactly as long as they think he/she should...that's it. No more dinner invites, no more party invites. It's disgusting. But the parents are donors to the school and the program so we really can't refuse to go when asked. We have to play nice.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Like, if you have a big bag of second hand clothes that your kids hardly wore. If you offer them to someone will they be offended that you "think they can't afford" new clothes or will they think, "oh yeah, some extra play clothes would be great"? Seems you can't win no matter what!
It's regional almost I think. Where I grew up, people would almost certainly be offended. Around here, they would be thrilled.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I know. But after awhile, if you have to think about it all that much and worry someone will be "offended" then why bother? I don't bother to try to give anyone anything anymore. I don't have the energy for the stupid dance now.
I know. But after awhile, if you have to think about it all that much and worry someone will be "offended" then why bother? I don't bother to try to give anyone anything anymore. I don't have the energy for the stupid dance now.
The only people I personally give clothing to are people I know well enough that I know they won't be offended. There ia a family here with a girl a bit younger than DD - I talked to the mom and asked if she would like some of DD's designer clothes that I didn't want to give to Goodwill. She was excited to get them. I could probably take them to a resale shop but I don't have the energy for that.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
When the kids were little I was absolutely beside myself when someone gave me a bag of clothes their kids couldn't wear anymore. I loved it.
My cousins and I had girls about the same age and size and for a long time we passed things between the three of us almost weekly.
We would take what we wanted, add to it and pass it on.
When I had my boys, they were the only two. So I didn't get the bags of clothes to pick through.
As for offending people, I have had people tell me that it is offensive to use ma'am when speaking to them. But that is how we were raised and it is considered rude not to use it.
Everyone has a Miss, Mrs., Ms. or Mister in front of their name. And if you don't know it is Ma'am or sir. And even after you know you still use ma'am and sir.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I once offered DD's clothes to a woman at school with 4 kids, 3 girls all younger than my girls. Well she chewed me out big time. "I can take care of my children and I DON'T need your family's cast offs". It was embarrassing. If she didn't want them all she had to say was "oh no thanks, I have a lot of hand me downs I haven't even gone through yet" even if it wasn't true.
It doesn't pay to be nice to people these days. Others, when you give them something, they keep coming back and asking for more (like the food thread). I had a family of 10 that I gave DD's clothes to and they started putting in orders! "Does your DD have any jeans she is outgrowing? Kid X needs new jeans" or "is DD still buying her clothes at X store? Kid Z doesn't like that store". Ridiculous. I quit giving them things.
-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Friday 16th of January 2015 02:57:31 PM
-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Friday 16th of January 2015 02:58:03 PM
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I will happily give good stuff away. But I found that people dont really want to be bothered. So I have thrown out perfectly good things. Oh well I am done figuring people out.
The clothes thing..I don't have a hard time finding people to give clothes too and if I can't, I take them to the Salvation Army or the used clothes store.
Since Baby A though, it seems people have used us as a dumping ground of all the baby stuff they don't want. I always say thank you, but I have a few issues. One is that two people have given me tons of clothes (garbage bags full) that are disgusting. Reeked of cigarette smoke. I did wash one load in good faith, but they still smelled and had tons of holes and stains. I threw them out. Even the drop off sites would not have taken them. And toys that are broken or missing pieces. I feel like it's easier for them to give it to us than to take the stuff to the dump.
ETA: It's just those two people. We have plenty of other friends who give things that are nice and usable.
-- Edited by NAOW on Friday 16th of January 2015 04:46:09 PM
I try to do little nice thinGs for people. Like, pick up coffee or something. I don't expect them to pay me, but they usually insist. The day after Christmas, there were only a few of us in the office. 2 of them temps, and I know what we pay temps. So I ordered pizza. Told them all merry Christmas. One guy was like, no you don't have to....I said, stop making it so hard to do something nice for you! He chuckled and said thank you
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I am never offended by how kind people can be. One time DD and I were bowling and we struck up a conversation with a group of people in the next lane. DD was 11 or 12 at the time. The woman in the group had an older DD and said she had a ton of clothes she outgrew. I mentioned where I worked and gave her my name. Next day at work the lady actually showed up with a big bag of clothes. I was so touched.
