TOTALLY GEEKED!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

RE: Thank God Someone Finally Fixed It.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I was just pointing out that not deferring to my husband or him to me hasn't exactly harmed our relationship. We don't have a problem as burns seems to think we do. We have a partnership. I was taught that is what a marriage is.

If you want stickers I can buy you some. Otherwise, not sure how to help you.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Who said I needed help? Why would I need help?

ed11563 · Guru

In 1977, my co-worker, Tim S., told me he had gone to his girlfriend's father, to talk about asking her to marry him.

He asked her dad for his blessing, and asked the Dad not to say anything, because he (Tim) wanted to surprise her.

The Dad immediately called out to the household, "HEY EVERYBODY, TIM'S GOING TO ASK SADIE (not her real name, because I don't remember it) TO MARRY HIM !!!"

Surprise ruined by nasty Dad.

Tim did ask her to marry him, she agreed, but before they got married ...

She moved in with him, and lived with him for 6 months.

During that time, Tim took the company's offer of a company car, and gave Sadie his two year old Chevy.

Sadie put herself in charge of paying the bills, and Tim gave her all his paychecks, and the expense checks he got.

(Do you see where this is going?)

One day, after six months, Tim came home from work and found Sadie, all of her stuff, and most of HIS stuff, and his two year old Chevy, were gone.

THEN he found out that, in the six months, Sadie had hidden a few things from Tim...

* the eviction notices for not paying any rent;

* the demand letters and and cancellation notices from all but one of the credit card companies;

* the bank statements showing that there had been NO DEPOSITS to their (his) accounts in six months, although all of the checks had been cashed...

Tim told me this had cost him over $26,000 (which was a LOT of money in 1977).

I told him he got off easy, it could have been a LOT worse, if he'd actually married her.

I told him about a guy (Spouse's best friend's husband) who had had to buy himself out of a TWO WEEK MARRIAGE, for $10,000.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ed you know the worst people. Hear the worst stories and have the worst luck.

Do you write these Dear Prudie letters? Cause it seems you have the experiences for it.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Some of you are SO defensive...

flan

NAOW · Vette's SS

Well, if we are picking covers, I like this one best.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I do really like the girls voice in the video Ed posted. Hers is really creative too. I prefer both the covers to the original.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ed you know the worst people. Hear the worst stories and have the worst luck.

Do you write these Dear Prudie letters? Cause it seems you have the experiences for it.

If you're suggesting that I know or knew child molesters,

one girl was assaulted by her MOTHER when she was very little, then by her 12 y.o. brother ...

and their mother had to know.

I sometimes think that my older brother must have stories ...

because in college he knew (sometimes hung around with) risk-taking frat boys and druggies and pimps and runaways.

Ohfour · Hooker

Mellow Momma wrote:
burns07 wrote:

Neither of us defers to the other.

Those questions are also antiquated.
_____________________________

as to the first, that's your problem--as to the second, that's your perspective

Actually, I dont have a problem. I am one of the few female posters here still married to the father of both my children. My first and only marriage. So not deferring to each other has served us quite well the last 20 plus years.

Really??? Actually, most if the female posters that are marrieed are married to the father of their children, first marriages. I can come up with at least 12 off the top of my head. The high horse doesnt suit you...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

ed11563 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ed you know the worst people. Hear the worst stories and have the worst luck.

Do you write these Dear Prudie letters? Cause it seems you have the experiences for it.
If you're suggesting that I know or knew child molesters,
one girl was assaulted by her MOTHER when she was very little, then by her 12 y.o. brother ...
and their mother had to know.

I sometimes think that my older brother must have stories ...
because in college he knew (sometimes hung around with) risk-taking frat boys and druggies and pimps and runaways.

I am not suggesting anything.

I am out right saying you have stories that show you tend to attract a bad element. Perhaps you should look into why you know all these stories and have had all these experiences.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ed you know the worst people. Hear the worst stories and have the worst luck.

Do you write these Dear Prudie letters? Cause it seems you have the experiences for it.
If you're suggesting that I know or knew child molesters,
one girl was assaulted by her MOTHER when she was very little, then by her 12 y.o. brother ...
and their mother had to know.

I sometimes think that my older brother must have stories ...
because in college he knew (sometimes hung around with) risk-taking frat boys and druggies and pimps and runaways.

I am not suggesting anything.
I am out right saying you have stories that show you tend to attract a bad element. Perhaps you should look into why you know all these stories and have had all these experiences.

There you go, ed!

ALL your problems solved!!!

flan

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I am not suggesting anything.
I am out right saying you have stories that show you tend to attract a bad element. Perhaps you should look into why you know all these stories and have had all these experiences.

Well, I'm a good listener and I pay attention.

Do I attract a bad element? Hmm. I'm here with all of you ...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

What ever gets you through the night.

wild_blue · Newbie

Serious question for those of you who like the tradition: What if dad says no?

I mean, that's the main reason I think it's dumb. You have the potential to cause hurt feelings and drama over tradition.

NAOW · Vette's SS

wild_blue wrote:
Serious question for those of you who like the tradition: What if dad says no?

I mean, that's the main reason I think it's dumb. You have the potential to cause hurt feelings and drama over tradition.

I had a friend whose dad said no. He thought his daughter was too young. Fiance asked her anyway, she said yes and the parents got over it.

Personally, since it is for traditions sake, I think dads should say yes. Otherwise, like you say, dad will just cause a bunch of drama. So say yes, and if you really have objections then sit down with your daughter and talk her through them alone. But after all that, if she still wants to marry the guy, so be it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

What is that country song about the guy coming in to take the girl on the date. The dad tells him to come in and then tells the date how special that girl is him and her mother.

There is the woman that the date sees and the baby that the father and mother brought home and raised and loved and cared for and cried with and laughed with and grew up with.

It's that. When asking for dad's blessing, it is the fiancé acknowledging that no one will ever love that girl more than her parents. He wants dad to know that he understands. And that he is going to treasure her just as much as her parents do.

At least that is what it should be.

Ohfour · Hooker

wild_blue wrote:
Serious question for those of you who like the tradition: What if dad says no?

I mean, that's the main reason I think it's dumb. You have the potential to cause hurt feelings and drama over tradition.

My dad said no. I should have listened to him.

Divine Geek · Guru

my dad is a big believer in letting his kids make their own mistakes. So if he actually spoke up and said no, I would know he had a damn good reason for it and I would have to seriously consider that.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
wild_blue wrote:
Serious question for those of you who like the tradition: What if dad says no?

I mean, that's the main reason I think it's dumb. You have the potential to cause hurt feelings and drama over tradition.
My dad said no. I should have listened to him.

My dad didn't say yes or no. He said "if that is what she wants" and the moment before he walked me down the aisle he said he would make excuses for me and I could sneak out the other door and I wouldn't have to face anyone.

The ONLY good that came from my marriage re my kids.

I would do it all again to have them.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
What is that country song about the guy coming in to take the girl on the date. The dad tells him to come in and then tells the date how special that girl is him and her mother.

There is the woman that the date sees and the baby that the father and mother brought home and raised and loved and cared for and cried with and laughed with and grew up with.

It's that. When asking for dad's blessing, it is the fiancé acknowledging that no one will ever love that girl more than her parents. He wants dad to know that he understands. And that he is going to treasure her just as much as her parents do.

At least that is what it should be.

I disagree. DH loves me more than my parents ever did.

He also SHOWS me by his actions.

flan

ed11563 · Guru

What ever happened to asking the woman's father for a dowry???

(flame suit on)

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well, most are working now. So they no longer marry for the same reasons.

So the dowry that would help set up and maintain them is no longer needed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Well, most are working now. So they no longer marry for the same reasons.

So the dowry that would help set up and maintain them is no longer needed.

When I said the exact same thing, you told me...what?

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

A dowry is totally different. A blessing doesn't cost anyone anything. Its a kind gesture that is appreciated by many...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Well, most are working now. So they no longer marry for the same reasons.

So the dowry that would help set up and maintain them is no longer needed.

When I said the exact same thing, you told me...what?
flan

Two wholly different things.

The very fact that you don't understand the difference speaks volumes.

WYSIWYG · Guru

I don't like the idea of "asking their permission" from the father of the bride-to-be, But I do like the idea of "asking for their blessing".

There's a slight difference between the two, but it's a very important one in my book. The first one, I agree, does treat her as property. The second one acknowledges the relationship with the daughter as being special, and important.

I also don't think it should be just her father that's asked. Her mother had something to do with raising her as well, and she is just as important to her mother as she is to her father. I believe that their blessing should be asked of both parents, if both are alive.

ladyloonatic · Regular

OMG. I agree with Vette, it's a freakin' song. Is this the first time you've listened to the lyrics?

The Beatles sang "she was just 17, if you know what I mean, ..."

It's a song...