TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Miss Manners: Baby Crying at Funeral

Blankie · Guru

Did we already have a thread on this one? Sounds familiar.

IMO a crying baby doesn't belong at a funeral.

Especially because a eulogy is a precious, one-time thing, and people deserve to be able to hear it.

I was PO'ed at my own nephew's babbling at my sister's funeral, because he was drowning out the eulogy, and nobody had the common sense to take him out.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Oh good grief.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Young kids do not belong at a funeral unless they are the child of the deceased.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't know.

I know when my paternal grandfather died, granny loved having C around at the funeral home. She would ask about her every time I took her out to the break area. Seemed it helped her having a little one around.

During the funeral my other grandmother came to take care of C for me. She sat in the back with her. C didn't make any noise.

Maybe that is the difference.

I know as soon as the service was over granny wanted C.

I know it depends on the family and how they do things. I don't think there is a right or wrong in these situations.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

If the baby is fussing to the point that the mourners cannot hear the person speaking, it becomes disrespectful.

Babies can be a comfort to the grief stricken. But during the funeral service, they are not comforting anyone.

sweet tooth · Member

I'm tired of having to pretend that a crying baby is not a problem. I recently went to a wedding where a baby cried throughout the most important part. Someone can pretend that the crying adds to the ceremony somehow, but the truth is it ruins it. And those parents were selfish beyond words to not take the baby out.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I agree. I took my kids absolutely everywhere when they were babies. But as soon as they started fussing, one of us left with them. If it was my family/friends then DH left with the baby and vice versa. It doesn't take a genius to sort it out.

-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Saturday 17th of January 2015 06:34:03 PM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I agree that a truly fussy baby should be removed.

However there are those who think a baby making even the simplest and quietest sounds for the briefest second is too much.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I think cooing and babbling is ok if it isn't constant. If it is constant throughout the ceremony it is distracting and sometimes louder than the speaker. In that case, the baby should be removed. The baby isn't why people are assembled. They are there to hear the speaker and anyone who makes that difficult should excuse themselves - coughers too.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Mellow Momma wrote:
I think cooing and babbling is ok if it isn't constant. If it is constant throughout the ceremony it is distracting and sometimes louder than the speaker. In that case, the baby should be removed. The baby isn't why people are assembled. They are there to hear the speaker and anyone who makes that difficult should excuse themselves - coughers too.

An occasional burp, or coo. No problem.

If the baby is crying, at the top of it's lungs. Get out!

Leave, please!

Thank You!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I agree.

Although I got stuck in the middle of a pew one time and I started coughing and could not stop. I couldn't get out either. The harder I tried to control it, the worse it got. Of course I became embarrassed and that made me hot and that made the coughing worse.

Some one finally handed me a peppermint. I don't know where it came from.

Gosh I was embarrassed.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I agree with MM. Normal baby sounds are fine. But I take kids out if they start getting above a normal volume.

I was at a memorial with Baby A a few weeks ago and spent most of the time in the car. She was not crying but she was playing loudly and it didn't seem respectful.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

A friend got married and her sister and BIL were in the wedding. They had a newborn. I volunteered to hold the baby during the service so the family could enjoy the wedding. The MOB begged the bride to let me do it, but Aunt Matilda offered and the bride didn't want to offend her. I gently said "will Aunt Matilda be ok if she has to leave and miss most of the ceremony ?" Oh yes of course she would be fine.

Well don't you know that baby wailed through the entire ceremony and Auntie didn't move a muscle. They even had a quiet room at the back where you could see the entire ceremony still. Nope. She didn't flinch. The bride was pissed, but the MOB spent the whole reception telling her "you should have let MM hold the baby. I told you so!" It was awful.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Mellow Momma wrote:
A friend got married and her sister and BIL were in the wedding. They had a newborn. I volunteered to hold the baby during the service so the family could enjoy the wedding. The MOB begged the bride to let me do it, but Aunt Matilda offered and the bride didn't want to offend her. I gently said "will Aunt Matilda be ok if she has to leave and miss most of the ceremony ?" Oh yes of course she would be fine.

Well don't you know that baby wailed through the entire ceremony and Auntie didn't move a muscle. They even had a quiet room at the back where you could see the entire ceremony still. Nope. She didn't flinch. The bride was pissed, but the MOB spent the whole reception telling her "you should have let MM hold the baby. I told you so!" It was awful.

Like wow.

That's too bad. cry

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

It was. It was the most uncomfortable I have ever been at a reception.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think it depends. If it is immediate family and they choose to bring a baby to honor grandpa or what ever then that us the prerogative of the mourners. If it is some distant cousin or friend bringing a baby then they should be more thoughtful.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Mellow Momma wrote:
A friend got married and her sister and BIL were in the wedding. They had a newborn. I volunteered to hold the baby during the service so the family could enjoy the wedding. The MOB begged the bride to let me do it, but Aunt Matilda offered and the bride didn't want to offend her. I gently said "will Aunt Matilda be ok if she has to leave and miss most of the ceremony ?" Oh yes of course she would be fine.

Well don't you know that baby wailed through the entire ceremony and Auntie didn't move a muscle. They even had a quiet room at the back where you could see the entire ceremony still. Nope. She didn't flinch. The bride was pissed, but the MOB spent the whole reception telling her "you should have let MM hold the baby. I told you so!" It was awful.

That is bad all around. If I was the mother of the baby I would not be able to just stand there while my baby was screaming with nothing being done about it.