TOTALLY GEEKED!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid."
Post Info TOPIC: DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid."
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid."
Permalink  
 

 

DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid." Sometimes she dresses traditionally feminine, and sometimes she dresses more traditionally masculine and asks her friends to refer to her as a "he." When she dresses masculine, she wears a breast binder under her clothing. Unfortunately she inherited my DDD figure, and her binder doesn't fit her body well. When she wears it under a tight-fitting shirt, it looks awkward and definitely not masculine. She is saving money to buy a better-fitting binder, but they're expensive and I don't have any extra money to put toward it. I've gently suggested that she add a sweatshirt when she wears it to school, but I think she thinks I'm being intolerant. No matter how she decides to live her life, I feel like part of my job as her mother is to help her at least be presentable and appropriate, but how do I do that without sounding judgmental? If she wears a low-cut feminine shirt, I make her wear a tank top underneath, but she is much less amenable to suggestion when she dresses as a male. Suggestions?

Latest columns

Helpful Mom

DEAR MOM: I believe your daughter's gender identification has created a red herring that makes this whole issue seem more complicated than it is.

 

advertisement | advertise on newsday

Your child is 16.

And having a fashion fit.

Since time immemorial, mothers have been trying to influence their teens' fashion choices -- always in the interest of what is most tasteful, attractive, flattering or appropriate.

A teen's reaction is to reject this well-intentioned advice and cast it as judgmental and disrespectful.

(Back in fashion's Stone Age, this resulted in a certain teenage girl carrying her miniskirt to school in a brown paper bag and changing in the bathroom before school.) Make whatever suggestion you want, knowing that it is your right to do so, and knowing that your child will probably reject it. If your teen's fashion choices don't violate an institutional dictum at school, then cover your eyes and let it go.

 



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
Dona Worry Be Happy


Vette's SS!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2297
Date:
Permalink  
 

ed11563 wrote:

 

DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid." Sometimes she dresses traditionally feminine, and sometimes she dresses more traditionally masculine and asks her friends to refer to her as a "he." When she dresses masculine, she wears a breast binder under her clothing. Unfortunately she inherited my DDD figure, and her binder doesn't fit her body well. When she wears it under a tight-fitting shirt, it looks awkward and definitely not masculine. She is saving money to buy a better-fitting binder, but they're expensive and I don't have any extra money to put toward it. I've gently suggested that she add a sweatshirt when she wears it to school, but I think she thinks I'm being intolerant. No matter how she decides to live her life, I feel like part of my job as her mother is to help her at least be presentable and appropriate, but how do I do that without sounding judgmental? If she wears a low-cut feminine shirt, I make her wear a tank top underneath, but she is much less amenable to suggestion when she dresses as a male. Suggestions?

Latest columns

Helpful Mom

DEAR MOM: I believe your daughter's gender identification has created a red herring that makes this whole issue seem more complicated than it is.

 

advertisement | advertise on newsday

Your child is 16.

And having a fashion fit.

Since time immemorial, mothers have been trying to influence their teens' fashion choices -- always in the interest of what is most tasteful, attractive, flattering or appropriate.

A teen's reaction is to reject this well-intentioned advice and cast it as judgmental and disrespectful.

(Back in fashion's Stone Age, this resulted in a certain teenage girl carrying her miniskirt to school in a brown paper bag and changing in the bathroom before school.) Make whatever suggestion you want, knowing that it is your right to do so, and knowing that your child will probably reject it. If your teen's fashion choices don't violate an institutional dictum at school, then cover your eyes and let it go.

 

 Yup.

I like this response.



__________________
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

A fashion fit, lol. I like that!

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

It's a symptom of our idiotic, politically correct, narcissistic society that parents now buy into this twaddle.

Honey, you don't have a penis. You aren't a boy.

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Lady Gaga Snerd


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 25897
Date:
Permalink  
 

Just because you want to change your mind from day to day doesn't mean society has to acquiesce to everything you think or feel. Nor is someone obligated to go along with whatever you want.

__________________

https://politicsandstuff.proboards.com/
ed11563


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:

It's a symptom of our idiotic, politically correct, narcissistic society that parents now buy into this twaddle.

Honey, you don't have a penis. You aren't a boy.

True, but that's not the question. She's not going into the boys' bathroom. 

Her friends probably don't care how she dresses, and I certainly don't.



__________________

The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

A "breast binder"???? STUPID.

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

Binding your breasts on a regular basis is not good for them - I would not let my teenager do that.

__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
NAOW


Vette's SS

Status: Offline
Posts: 5001
Date:
Permalink  
 

I don't know. 'Gender Fluid' sounds really dumb. I'm not sure I can buy that one. I mean, A girl in a boys body or vice versa, fine... but saying that you can actually switch back and forth based on your own whims, that just sounds VSS to me.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> DEAR AMY: My 16-year-old daughter identifies as "gender fluid."


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard