The parents of a five-year-old boy have been threatened with court action because he missed a schoolfriend's birthday party and left the hosts out of pocket.
Derek Nash, from Torpoint, Cornwall. discovered an invoice for £15.95 had been put into son Alex's schoolbag after he was a "no show" at the ski centre party.
Mr Nash said he originally thought the letter was a joke but now the friend's mother is threatening to take the matter to the small claims court.
The family accepted the invite to the Ski Slope and Snowboard Centre just before the Christmas holidays, forgetting they had a prior family commitment.
Mr Nash said he had already arranged for their daughter to go out with her grandparents.
He said: "She [the mother] saw me and asked if Alex was coming to the party. At this time I agreed and said that Alex was looking forward to it.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
"So on the day of the party we asked Alex what he wanted to do - he chose to be with his grandparents."
When the children went back to school in January, Mr Nash's partner tried once more to apologise to the boy's mother but did not see her.
He said: "On January 15 she looked in Alex's school bag and found a brown envelope. It was an invoice for £15.95 for a child's party no show fee.
"I asked Alex's class teacher if [the child's mother] had given anything to her. She said, 'Yes, a brown envelope'.
"I then visited Alex's school headteacher, who couldn't apologise enough that one of the teachers had passed this on. She said she would remind all staff that this was a breach of protocol."
Mr Nash said while he sympathised with the woman, he told her he would not be paying.
She has since threatened to take the case to a small claims court, while the birthday boy will no longer play with Alex at school.
Mr Nash added: "I drive all around the South West for my job and I have talked to quite a few people about this.
"They're all quite incredulous that this has happened. I thought it was a joke to begin with. I am lost for words."
The mother of the birthday boy has not commented on the row.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
On the one hand - this is just plain ridiculous, you simply don't invite them again. An invoice for a missed party? They have no idea why the kid didn't come - he might have been sick.
On the other hand, they rather dismiss their own rudeness.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I can guarantee, no family will ever accept an invite for that birthday boy ever again. What a frickin biotch that mother is. I can understand being annoyed about a no show, but get over yourself woman.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
So I guess my next question would be...why were they allowing their child to go skiing with someone they had no contact info for? I sure wouldn't let my kid go skiing with just anyone from her class. Some of those kids were barely supervised at home. KWIM?
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
So I guess my next question would be...why were they allowing their child to go skiing with someone they had no contact info for? I sure wouldn't let my kid go skiing with just anyone from her class. Some of those kids were barely supervised at home. KWIM?
Yes.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
both parties have responsibility but more of it is on the host mother for not providing contact info. She is out nada; she would have paid the same amount if the kid attended so no additional cost.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I have thrown a few parties in my day, and there are always "no shows". Sometimes there are guests who come who said they wouldn't/couldn't. And I'm talking adults, not necessarily children. Either way, you expect it when you give a facility a headcount. Then you decide whether to invite them next time, or not. Personally, I would give them a second chance, and if they flake out again, then probably just not include them next time. But by making a big deal, you only make yourself look bad.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
both parties have responsibility but more of it is on the host mother for not providing contact info. She is out nada; she would have paid the same amount if the kid attended so no additional cost.
???? I don't get where you get this. They said "by this time we did not have a contact number" which sounds like they did at one time. And how can you assume she would have paid the same? Lot's of parties have a per kid price.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
both parties have responsibility but more of it is on the host mother for not providing contact info. She is out nada; she would have paid the same amount if the kid attended so no additional cost.
???? I don't get where you get this. They said "by this time we did not have a contact number" which sounds like they did at one time. And how can you assume she would have paid the same? Lot's of parties have a per kid price.
Any party I have had for DD at different places you had to give the head count prior to the party so you paid for that count regardless if all showed up.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I have thrown a few parties in my day, and there are always "no shows". Sometimes there are guests who come who said they wouldn't/couldn't. And I'm talking adults, not necessarily children. Either way, you expect it when you give a facility a headcount. Then you decide whether to invite them next time, or not. Personally, I would give them a second chance, and if they flake out again, then probably just not include them next time. But by making a big deal, you only make yourself look bad.
I agree completely they are over-reacting and acting like idiots. However, I would not invite the kid again.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
both parties have responsibility but more of it is on the host mother for not providing contact info. She is out nada; she would have paid the same amount if the kid attended so no additional cost.
???? I don't get where you get this. They said "by this time we did not have a contact number" which sounds like they did at one time. And how can you assume she would have paid the same? Lot's of parties have a per kid price.
Any party I have had for DD at different places you had to give the head count prior to the party so you paid for that count regardless if all showed up.
Well, that's kind of the point they are making. They were told they were coming, and paid for the kid, who didn't show up - so they feel the money was wasted. Had they known the kid wasn't going to come, they would not have paid for him, or they could have invited someone else.
Either way - it is extremely rude to just decide not to attend something you committed to. Although certainly not lawsuit rude. If not for the stupid invoice and lawsuit threat - the hostess would be completely in the right to be upset.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
"By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the mother] know.
I took this to mean that they did not have the information anymore, likely they threw out the invitation. ]
I agree it's ridiculous and they shouldn't pay, but if it was me, I would be too embarrassed to make a fuss like this because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the fact that I stood up a birthday kid after saying I'd be there- especially something that is obviously a cost per person type party.
I know, right? Where is the guilt over standing someone up when they paid for you to attend? I mean - neither party is shining brightly here.
both parties have responsibility but more of it is on the host mother for not providing contact info. She is out nada; she would have paid the same amount if the kid attended so no additional cost.
???? I don't get where you get this. They said "by this time we did not have a contact number" which sounds like they did at one time. And how can you assume she would have paid the same? Lot's of parties have a per kid price.
Any party I have had for DD at different places you had to give the head count prior to the party so you paid for that count regardless if all showed up.
Well, that's kind of the point they are making. They were told they were coming, and paid for the kid, who didn't show up - so they feel the money was wasted. Had they known the kid wasn't going to come, they would not have paid for him, or they could have invited someone else.
Either way - it is extremely rude to just decide not to attend something you committed to. Although certainly not lawsuit rude. If not for the stupid invoice and lawsuit threat - the hostess would be completely in the right to be upset.
The people were rude to say the kid was going and then not go. But had the kid gone, the host would have paid, so there is no additional cost whether the kids showed up or not. Hostess is over reacting. She has a screw loose to think it's not over the top to "invoice" no shows. Unfortunately, it is common these days for non-RSVPs. I often had extra kids show up, extra in that I never heard from the parents that their kids was coming. And others that said they would be there and not show. Yep, you just decide if you will be extending an invitation the next time.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
We had several individuals who accepted DS's invitation for last night not show. It happens.
We are not going to embarrass anyone for being unable to make the trip or because they got ill.
Life happens regardless of well laid plans.
Gosh, I don't see this as a hill to die on.
__________________
I drink coffee so I don't kill you.
I quilt so I don't kill you.
Do you see a theme?
Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
A FIVE-year-old boy has been handed an invoice – for missing his friend’s birthday party.
And now his parents claim they have been threatened with the possibility of court action if they don’t stump up the cash.
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Derek Nash and his partner, who live in Torpoint, discovered the ‘no show fee’ invoice for £15.95 in their son’s school bag last week.
Mr Nash, a delivery driver, said he “thought it was a joke”.
Alex's parents fear they may be dragged into a court battle - all because their son chose a day out with his grandparents over a pal's birthday party
Just before the Christmas holidays, Alex, their son, was invited to a classmate’s Birthday party at the Ski Slope and Snowboard Centre.
Alex, who goes to Torpoint Nursery and Infant School, told his parents he wanted to go and so Mr Nash and his partner confirmed he would be at the celebration.
Mr Nash said: “She saw me and asked if Alex was coming to the party. At this time I agreed and said that Alex was looking forward to it.”
But Mr Nash later realised he had arranged for Alex and his sister Lily to out for a day trip with their grandparents.
“By this time we did not have a contact number, email or an address to let [the boy’s mother] know,” explained Mr Nash.
“So on the day of the party we asked Alex what he wanted to do; he chose to be with his grandparents.”
On January 6 Alex went back to school as the new term got under way.
Mr Nash continued: “My partner looked out for [the friend’s mother] to apologise for Alex not showing up to the party, but didn’t see her.
“But on January 15 she looked in Alex’s school bag and found a brown envelope. It was an invoice for £15.95 for a child’s party no show fee.
The bill Alex brought home. He was not charged VAT on his birthday party no-show...
“I asked Alex’s class teacher if [the child’s mother] had given anything to her. She said, ‘Yes, a brown envelope’.
“I then visited Alex’s school headteacher, who couldn’t apologise enough that one of the teachers had passed this on.
“She said she would remind all staff that this was a breach of protocol.”
“I left the school and went to see [the birthday boy’s mother] as her address was on the invoice.
“When she answered the door I told her I had found the invoice in my son’s school bag and that I wasn’t happy about it.
“I told her I would not be paying her the money.
“I told her she should have spoken to me first and not put the invoice in my son’s school bag.”
He added: “I would have sympathised with her about the cost of Alex not showing up, but I just can’t believe the way she has gone around it.”
The couple claim that the mother of Alex’s friend has threatened the couple with taking the case to the small claims court.
And five-year-old Alex has told his parents that his classmate will no longer play with him after he didn’t show up to the party.
Poor Alex says his friend will no longer play with him at school since the row broke out
Mr Nash said: “I drive all around the South West for my job and I have talked to quite a few people about this.
“They’re all quite incredulous that this has happened.
“I thought it was a joke to begin with. I am lost for words.”
Mr Nash’s partner has been in contact with the mum via Facebook hoping to resolve the situation.
The mother of Alex’s friend was unavailable for comment when contacted by The Herald.
Full Facebook conversation between Alex's mum Tanya and the birthday boy's mum Julie.
Tanya Walsh
Hi Julie. This is Alex's mum. I don't know what has happened between you and my partner, Derek. I was very shocked to see the invoice in Alex's school bag. I did not realise that you had to pay for each child, as you never mentioned anything about money when we spoke. The only reason Alex did not attend the party was because his nan and grandad were going away for christmas and the only day the kids could go see them was on the same day as the party. I did not know this. On the day Alex decided that he wanted to spend time with his nan and grandad. I apologise for not letting you know, but I did not have a phone number or an e-mail for you to let you know the situation(I also didn't know your first name, or I would have looked you up). If I had known that I would have to pay if Alex did not go, then I would have paid you the money, no problem. I do not like fighting with people, and would prefer to settle this amicably.
Julie Lawrence
Hi Tanya, I didn't mention the money when we spoke because it was a child's party, it doesn't matter if you have to pay per person or for a group if people agree to going, I confirmed that with all parents on the Thursday before the party that they were going as I had to pay that day, and Derek told me Alex was looking forward to it and would see us there, to me that is confirmation. My phone number was on the invitation that was sent out to Alex. I don't like fighting with people either, and was not best impressed when Derek turned up on my doorstep, and said you won't get any money out of me, rather rudely, I do admit it rattled me. This is not the first time Alex has not turned up to a party that he has been invited to, either. the amicable way round this I believe would be to pay me the money and let a lesson be learnt, I hope this is agreeable ? Julie
Tanya Walsh
Hi Julie, who's party is Alex supposed to have gone to? I did speak to another mum about a party but she never got back to me with details, other than that I don't recall any other confirmed invites. The only reason Derek was angry was because of the fact that the envelope was put into Alex's school bag, when it has nothing to do with the school. He spoke to the headteacher about and she said that it's against school policy to do that kind of thing. Birthday invites are fine, but not personal items. Like I said before, no money was mentioned when we spoke, and I feel it would be inappropriate to pay you the money, when I don't know what it's actually paying for. Alex was very excited to go to the party. I didn't know until the day about his nan and grandad, and he decided he would rather spend the day with them. Like I said before I didn't have your number to let you know. And exactly what lesson would I be learning. I am not a child, so please do not speak to me like I am one. So, to answer your question, unfortunately no. This is not agreeable.
Julie Lawrence
You are paying for 1 x child's party at the ski slope including snow tubing and tobogganing and lunch, to with you said Alex was attending on the Thursday
Tanya Walsh
Just so you know, small claims court cost #60 just to start a claim. Also I'm not paying for something we didn't use.
Julie Lawrence
It doesn't cost that much
Tanya Walsh
It does. Also I don't think the school are very happy with you involving them in this either. I don't know why you are out for our blood and slandering us. I've told you the reasons why alex didn't go. I also told you why I couldn't call. You also don't seem to understand that I never ran away from you. I didnt hear you calling after me. I have to get to my daughter at carbeile. So if they let alex out last then I have to rush a bit because evie, my 2 year old, walks slow. So maybe that's why you thought I was rushing off. I had no reason to run to run away from you. So please do not state things as truth when you do not have all the facts. Maybe if you actually spoke to me rather than making your own mind up about what happened then none of this would be happening right now. If you had come up to us the first day back and explained about the money, then I could have explained about alex, then maybe we could have sorted something out. Instead you send an invoice.
Read more: http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/year-old-Plymouth-boy-gets-missing-school-friend/story-25884528-detail/story.html#ixzz3PJte81RM Follow us: @heraldnewslive on Twitter | theplymouthherald on Facebook
How stupid. It's not a lot of money, I can see how the host parent might have been annoyed, but seriously? Pay up, stuff happens, let it go.
I agree with SB, give her the money and be done with it. Apparently an invitation had been sent, RSVP'd, and then confirmed in person the day before. Then they didn't show up.
And the GPs just showed up one day and said "Oh, BTW, We're going on holiday and won't be around for Christmas..."
Yeah...blah blah, they are all idiots, but as someone said upthread, not a hill to die on. Reimburse the woman. Don't post pictures of pathetic dad and child on social media proclaiming your righteousness.
