TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

RE: Dear Carolyn: 7 Yr Old Twins Party

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes. For younger elementary kids of course. I have seen many boxes of crayons going back and forth. And, for DD's age, I have seen small gifts like some cheap nail polish and headbands and stuff like that. The parties around here are pretty relaxed and it is rare for someone to spend a lot.

Wow. I want to live where you live! A box of crayons only would have been social suicide. Seriously, it would have been the talk of the pick up line. Again, for the zillionth time, I don't agree with it. But that's how things are every place we have lived.

Unless of course the family had a lot of children or were known to be down on their luck.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
And I look at it this way...what if...I had a birthday party...and someone brought a gift..game or movie or whatever...and the card said, "to Kathy & Niel" (my brother whose birthday is a month before mine)...how would I feel...I would think, WTF?
But you weren't celebrating your bday together with the same party. Totally different scenario.
Why should it be different? It's two different birthdays.
Fortunately, my boys' friends seem to "get" this and the "one gift fits both" issue hasn't occurred. The only ones who try to cut corners at my boys' expense have been my in-laws.
No its not. Your boys SHARE a birthday. And you are throwing a party for BOTH of them. If you and your brother were a couple of days apart and had the same party, then yes, most definitely, a movie for Kathy and Neil would be appropriate.

And I mean, hey - if you want to get technical, you are throwing ONE party, and saving money on that. Basically, you are getting two gifts for the price of one party.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
And I look at it this way...what if...I had a birthday party...and someone brought a gift..game or movie or whatever...and the card said, "to Kathy & Niel" (my brother whose birthday is a month before mine)...how would I feel...I would think, WTF?
But you weren't celebrating your bday together with the same party. Totally different scenario.
Why should it be different? It's two different birthdays.
Fortunately, my boys' friends seem to "get" this and the "one gift fits both" issue hasn't occurred. The only ones who try to cut corners at my boys' expense have been my in-laws.
No its not. Your boys SHARE a birthday. And you are throwing a party for BOTH of them. If you and your brother were a couple of days apart and had the same party, then yes, most definitely, a movie for Kathy and Neil would be appropriate.
And I mean, hey - if you want to get technical, you are throwing ONE party, and saving money on that. Basically, you are getting two gifts for the price of one party.

You know that is a great point. If we all need to acknowledge them as individuals (and we should for sure) why shouldn't they get individual parties with their own friends with a theme suited to each one?

For family, convenience would dictate one party. I can see that. But for friends?

FNW · Guru

Santa brings the boys joint gifts every year, too. Games they can play together. But he also brings separate gifts. But that's Jesus's birthday, not theirs.

I agree that children would most enjoy the companionship and be glad that so and so came to celebrate with them, and that is the emphasis I place on their day. My boys actually have me go out and buy gifts for their classmates each year to pass out in their class...just little figurines..super heroes for the boys, princesses for the girls..expecting nothing in return. Something to go with the cupcakes or brownies I bring in. For them it's about the celebration and being the center of attention.

Still, I do wonder why people think one gift for two separate children is a good idea. It's just not something I ever considered doing for someone else unless it was in addition to their own individual gifts. I grew up with twin cousins and never considered giving them one doll.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Santa brings the boys joint gifts every year, too. Games they can play together. But he also brings separate gifts. But that's Jesus's birthday, not theirs.

I agree that children would most enjoy the companionship and be glad that so and so came to celebrate with them, and that is the emphasis I place on their day. My boys actually have me go out and buy gifts for their classmates each year to pass out in their class...just little figurines..super heroes for the boys, princesses for the girls..expecting nothing in return. Something to go with the cupcakes or brownies I bring in. For them it's about the celebration and being the center of attention.

Still, I do wonder why people think one gift for two separate children is a good idea. It's just not something I ever considered doing for someone else unless it was in addition to their own individual gifts. I grew up with twin cousins and never considered giving them one doll.

Well, a doll would be a stupid joint gift - you don't really share that. But a game or a movie? I mean, one person can't play Battleship.

Ohfour · Hooker

FNW wrote:
Santa brings the boys joint gifts every year, too. Games they can play together. But he also brings separate gifts. But that's Jesus's birthday, not theirs.

I agree that children would most enjoy the companionship and be glad that so and so came to celebrate with them, and that is the emphasis I place on their day. My boys actually have me go out and buy gifts for their classmates each year to pass out in their class...just little figurines..super heroes for the boys, princesses for the girls..expecting nothing in return. Something to go with the cupcakes or brownies I bring in. For them it's about the celebration and being the center of attention.

Still, I do wonder why people think one gift for two separate children is a good idea. It's just not something I ever considered doing for someone else unless it was in addition to their own individual gifts. I grew up with twin cousins and never considered giving them one doll.

No, I wouldn't give one doll. But I WOULD pick out a gift that was sharable. Like a movie or a game.

Ohfour · Hooker

JINX!!!!!

msrock · Guru

voiceofreason wrote:
The entitlement here is jaw dropping. Wtf.

This. It's really mind boggling.

FNW · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
And I look at it this way...what if...I had a birthday party...and someone brought a gift..game or movie or whatever...and the card said, "to Kathy & Niel" (my brother whose birthday is a month before mine)...how would I feel...I would think, WTF?
But you weren't celebrating your bday together with the same party. Totally different scenario.
Why should it be different? It's two different birthdays.
Fortunately, my boys' friends seem to "get" this and the "one gift fits both" issue hasn't occurred. The only ones who try to cut corners at my boys' expense have been my in-laws.
No its not. Your boys SHARE a birthday. And you are throwing a party for BOTH of them. If you and your brother were a couple of days apart and had the same party, then yes, most definitely, a movie for Kathy and Neil would be appropriate.
And I mean, hey - if you want to get technical, you are throwing ONE party, and saving money on that. Basically, you are getting two gifts for the price of one party.

Again, singleton ignorance. It isn't cheaper. There are two cakes, twice as many kids invited (and paid for), and grab bags for each guest, and twice the pizza, drinks, balloons to give out, etc. Places also charge extra for a second guest of honor. Contrary to what people think, there are no measurable twin discounts. It's not a buy one get one free situation. If some one knows of a facility that cut families of multiples a break, I would be interested in knowing for their next event.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
And I look at it this way...what if...I had a birthday party...and someone brought a gift..game or movie or whatever...and the card said, "to Kathy & Niel" (my brother whose birthday is a month before mine)...how would I feel...I would think, WTF?
But you weren't celebrating your bday together with the same party. Totally different scenario.
Why should it be different? It's two different birthdays.
Fortunately, my boys' friends seem to "get" this and the "one gift fits both" issue hasn't occurred. The only ones who try to cut corners at my boys' expense have been my in-laws.
No its not. Your boys SHARE a birthday. And you are throwing a party for BOTH of them. If you and your brother were a couple of days apart and had the same party, then yes, most definitely, a movie for Kathy and Neil would be appropriate.
And I mean, hey - if you want to get technical, you are throwing ONE party, and saving money on that. Basically, you are getting two gifts for the price of one party.
You know that is a great point. If we all need to acknowledge them as individuals (and we should for sure) why shouldn't they get individual parties with their own friends with a theme suited to each one?

For family, convenience would dictate one party. I can see that. But for friends?

Excellent question. If one is so adamant they be treated as individuals, why would you have a shared party?

msrock · Guru

Why even bother throwing a party? As far as I can see... pretty much everyone sucks.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
FNW wrote:
And I look at it this way...what if...I had a birthday party...and someone brought a gift..game or movie or whatever...and the card said, "to Kathy & Niel" (my brother whose birthday is a month before mine)...how would I feel...I would think, WTF?
But you weren't celebrating your bday together with the same party. Totally different scenario.
Why should it be different? It's two different birthdays.
Fortunately, my boys' friends seem to "get" this and the "one gift fits both" issue hasn't occurred. The only ones who try to cut corners at my boys' expense have been my in-laws.
No its not. Your boys SHARE a birthday. And you are throwing a party for BOTH of them. If you and your brother were a couple of days apart and had the same party, then yes, most definitely, a movie for Kathy and Neil would be appropriate.
And I mean, hey - if you want to get technical, you are throwing ONE party, and saving money on that. Basically, you are getting two gifts for the price of one party.
Again, singleton ignorance. It isn't cheaper. There are two cakes, twice as many kids invited (and paid for), and grab bags for each guest, and twice the pizza, drinks, balloons to give out, etc. Places also charge extra for a second guest of honor. Contrary to what people think, there are no measurable twin discounts. It's not a buy one get one free situation. If some one knows of a facility that cut families of multiples a break, I would be interested in knowing for their next event.

I'm involved in planning the party for my friend's twins every year, and since they share a lot of the same friends - it is not the same if they had separate party, especially if you are paying for a venue - you only have to reserve one space, one time. We have NEVER had a place charge extra for a twin guest of honor. She does get them separate cakes, but that is pretty much the only double expense. When they get older, I expect more separate friends, but I also expect they won't be doing the same kind of birthday parties inviting tons of kids - like bowling, gymnastics, bounce house, pottery, etc.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

I remember lots of birthdays having fun with my friends.
Yet, I don't recall a single gift.

FNW · Guru

Actually, I have only thrown two parties for the boys. One when they turned 1, and one when they turned 5. I don't believe in big parties every single year. We do celebrate their birthdays, at school before school lets out (they have summer birthdays), and with immediate family on the big day. We'll take them out for miniature golf, Disneyland, whatever, so their big day does not go uncelebrated. If they wanted separate parties, we would do it. But the last time we threw them a party was when they turned 5 and they were at preschool together in the same class.

This year they are asking for a "pool party" since we're getting a pool. They know they can invite 2 friends each, for safety reasons.

Another issue...the divorced parents. My boys received an invitation for one child, twice. His mother was throwing one, and a week later, his father was throwing one. Which one? How many gifts?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

FNW wrote:
Actually, I have only thrown two parties for the boys. One when they turned 1, and one when they turned 5. I don't believe in big parties every single year. We do celebrate their birthdays, at school before school lets out (they have summer birthdays), and with immediate family on the big day. We'll take them out for miniature golf, Disneyland, whatever, so their big day does not go uncelebrated. If they wanted separate parties, we would do it. But the last time we threw them a party was when they turned 5 and they were at preschool together in the same class.

This year they are asking for a "pool party" since we're getting a pool. They know they can invite 2 friends each, for safety reasons.

Another issue...the divorced parents. My boys received an invitation for one child, twice. His mother was throwing one, and a week later, his father was throwing one. Which one? How many gifts?

I would choose the party that fit my schedule best, or that might be what my child would enjoy attending more. I would not feel obligated to attend both. And if I did attend both, I would get him his real gift at the first party, and likely a book at the second.

We had this issue with DD4 with the private daycare she attended, she would throw a party, tell everyone to bring gifts, etc., and then a couple of the same children would be invited to her actual birthday party. She would her "real" gift at whichever occurred first, and a token gift at the second.

msrock · Guru

FNW wrote:
Actually, I have only thrown two parties for the boys. One when they turned 1, and one when they turned 5. I don't believe in big parties every single year. We do celebrate their birthdays, at school before school lets out (they have summer birthdays), and with immediate family on the big day. We'll take them out for miniature golf, Disneyland, whatever, so their big day does not go uncelebrated. If they wanted separate parties, we would do it. But the last time we threw them a party was when they turned 5 and they were at preschool together in the same class.

This year they are asking for a "pool party" since we're getting a pool. They know they can invite 2 friends each, for safety reasons.

Another issue...the divorced parents. My boys received an invitation for one child, twice. His mother was throwing one, and a week later, his father was throwing one. Which one? How many gifts?

That's ridiculous. I guess pick the parent you like best and go to that one.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I remember lots of birthdays having fun with my friends.
Yet, I don't recall a single gift.

Yep. My kids like the PARTY with all their friends. The gifts are not their favorite part by a long shot.

FNW · Guru

As it turned out, I accepted the wife's first, as I am more friends with her, then a few days later received the father's invite, and declined it. A day before the wife's party, there was a notice sent out cancelling it. Both of these people were very unorganized and parties we went to before they split, were usually very odd. For instance, they had one at a bouncy place, but there was a hole in the equipment so if more than one child went on it, it would deflate. The kids ended up frustrated. I felt bad for the little boy.

Ohfour · Hooker

FNW wrote:
Actually, I have only thrown two parties for the boys. One when they turned 1, and one when they turned 5. I don't believe in big parties every single year. We do celebrate their birthdays, at school before school lets out (they have summer birthdays), and with immediate family on the big day. We'll take them out for miniature golf, Disneyland, whatever, so their big day does not go uncelebrated. If they wanted separate parties, we would do it. But the last time we threw them a party was when they turned 5 and they were at preschool together in the same class.

This year they are asking for a "pool party" since we're getting a pool. They know they can invite 2 friends each, for safety reasons.

Another issue...the divorced parents. My boys received an invitation for one child, twice. His mother was throwing one, and a week later, his father was throwing one. Which one? How many gifts?

That's just horrible. I hate parents like that.

voiceofreason · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
The entitlement here is jaw dropping. Wtf.
VOR!!
I was just thinking about you.
How the heck are ya?

I've been lurking. I type a post, delete it, move on. I'm trying to not fight or get frustrated. Maybe I'll just start typing either ffs or wtf. Those both seem to apply to almost all threads lol. Mr.VoR just left this morning so 10 days to focus on the geeks!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ok - so slight hijack with Birthday party related question.

DD10 is having a pottery painting party this year. Everyone will get to pick something and paint it, but they won't be able to take it home that day b/c it has to be fired. So, do these still count as the party favor, or should I do something else? We have a bakery here that makes beautiful sugar cookies, and I considered having them make some "paint pallete" shaped cookies and wrapping them separately so the kids have something to take home that day in addition to the pottery. We'll be having cake at the party - so the cookies wouldn't be to eat there.

voiceofreason · Guru

Singleton ignorance? Really? Oh ffs.

FNW · Guru

You're right, VOR, I misspoke. It's multiple ignorance.

That's a good question, LL. I would go with the cookies, JIC. My boys went to an art party a couple years ago...they were given old shoes to decorate (they were 4 I think). They were also given sand to layer in a small jar. Anyway, their works of art were taken home, but they also had a little extra something for each child.

msrock · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ok - so slight hijack with Birthday party related question.

DD10 is having a pottery painting party this year. Everyone will get to pick something and paint it, but they won't be able to take it home that day b/c it has to be fired. So, do these still count as the party favor, or should I do something else? We have a bakery here that makes beautiful sugar cookies, and I considered having them make some "paint pallete" shaped cookies and wrapping them separately so the kids have something to take home that day in addition to the pottery. We'll be having cake at the party - so the cookies wouldn't be to eat there.

I don't think you need to do anything else. That's a great party favor that they won't mind waiting for.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

voiceofreason wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
The entitlement here is jaw dropping. Wtf.
VOR!!
I was just thinking about you.
How the heck are ya?
I've been lurking. I type a post, delete it, move on. I'm trying to not fight or get frustrated. Maybe I'll just start typing either ffs or wtf. Those both seem to apply to almost all threads lol. Mr.VoR just left this morning so 10 days to focus on the geeks!

I completely understand.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ok - so slight hijack with Birthday party related question.

DD10 is having a pottery painting party this year. Everyone will get to pick something and paint it, but they won't be able to take it home that day b/c it has to be fired. So, do these still count as the party favor, or should I do something else? We have a bakery here that makes beautiful sugar cookies, and I considered having them make some "paint pallete" shaped cookies and wrapping them separately so the kids have something to take home that day in addition to the pottery. We'll be having cake at the party - so the cookies wouldn't be to eat there.

Let me ask...who has to pick them up?

DD went to a party like this and later that week we had to go back and pick up our piece. It was super inconvienient as the place was kind of far from us. In that one week, the party place called us twice to remind us to come get the item. I was kind of irritated by the time we went back to get it.

She he went to another party like this and the host picked up the items and gave them to the kids after school one day. I thought that was SUPER nice of her. Just something to think about.

In both cases, the host counted the pottery as the treat and we didn't get anything else and DD didn't care. I think the cookies would be a nice touch.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

FNW wrote:
Actually, I have only thrown two parties for the boys. One when they turned 1, and one when they turned 5. I don't believe in big parties every single year. We do celebrate their birthdays, at school before school lets out (they have summer birthdays), and with immediate family on the big day. We'll take them out for miniature golf, Disneyland, whatever, so their big day does not go uncelebrated. If they wanted separate parties, we would do it. But the last time we threw them a party was when they turned 5 and they were at preschool together in the same class.

This year they are asking for a "pool party" since we're getting a pool. They know they can invite 2 friends each, for safety reasons.

Another issue...the divorced parents. My boys received an invitation for one child, twice. His mother was throwing one, and a week later, his father was throwing one. Which one? How many gifts?

You get something like a nerf gun. they get the gun at one party and the nerf darts at the other! LOL...

That is just crazy.

My brother's kids have their birthday "twice".

But here it is just family. Usually just us. I make the cake sometimes if the kids ask me to.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Singleton ignorance or multiple ignorance - I don't suffer from either. My nieces are twins, and my best friend's kids are twins. I'm fully aware of the two vs. one. And the twins are very different, but there are still things they enjoy together - like the newest game for Xbox 360 which is a $50 game that no one would get them if they had to buy 2.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ok - so slight hijack with Birthday party related question.

DD10 is having a pottery painting party this year. Everyone will get to pick something and paint it, but they won't be able to take it home that day b/c it has to be fired. So, do these still count as the party favor, or should I do something else? We have a bakery here that makes beautiful sugar cookies, and I considered having them make some "paint pallete" shaped cookies and wrapping them separately so the kids have something to take home that day in addition to the pottery. We'll be having cake at the party - so the cookies wouldn't be to eat there.
Let me ask...who has to pick them up?
DD went to a party like this and later that week we had to go back and pick up our piece. It was super inconvienient as the place was kind of far from us. In that one week, the party place called us twice to remind us to come get the item. I was kind of irritated by the time we went back to get it.
She he went to another party like this and the host picked up the items and gave them to the kids after school one day. I thought that was SUPER nice of her. Just something to think about.
In both cases, the host counted the pottery as the treat and we didn't get anything else and DD didn't care. I think the cookies would be a nice touch.

Ours prefers that the hostess pick them all up and hand them out. They will do it the other way if requested - but I'll pick them up and pass them back out, which isn't really a problem for us - we'll see everyone either at school or church or their house.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ok - so slight hijack with Birthday party related question.

DD10 is having a pottery painting party this year. Everyone will get to pick something and paint it, but they won't be able to take it home that day b/c it has to be fired. So, do these still count as the party favor, or should I do something else? We have a bakery here that makes beautiful sugar cookies, and I considered having them make some "paint pallete" shaped cookies and wrapping them separately so the kids have something to take home that day in addition to the pottery. We'll be having cake at the party - so the cookies wouldn't be to eat there.

At that age I no longer did party favors. They did get an extra piece of cake or cookie to take home.

I think the pottery would be enough.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Oh that sounds much better than our experience. Very nice.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

voiceofreason wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
The entitlement here is jaw dropping. Wtf.
VOR!!
I was just thinking about you.
How the heck are ya?
I've been lurking. I type a post, delete it, move on. I'm trying to not fight or get frustrated. Maybe I'll just start typing either ffs or wtf. Those both seem to apply to almost all threads lol. Mr.VoR just left this morning so 10 days to focus on the geeks!

Well, we always enjoy having you, VoR.

flan

voiceofreason · Guru

Thanks flannie!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think party favors are fine for 5 yr olds. After that, the kids really don't care. And, most of it is cheap plastic crap that they don't want anyway. I also have a philosophical issue with giving everyone else a present as if we can't allow ONE person to get a present and OMG the little darlings don't get want too. I think that breeds selfishness and we should be teaching kids to be happy for other people. Sorry, you don't get a gift today and no you can't sulk and yes, you will say how lovely the other person's gifts are.

FNW · Guru

I agree, LGS, but I did do the party favor bit, reluctantly.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The favors I gave were simple.

They would get a bottle of bubbles, a small pack of either side walk chalk or crayons, two little cans of play-doh, and a few pieces of candy.

If the theme was dinosaurs I could get a bag of little plastic dinosaurs for like a buck and I put one or two in a bag.

Tried to do something that tied into the theme with each one.

Favors stopped at about 8ish.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It's OK. But, in my experience the kids were interested in it for like a nanosecond and then forgot to take them home anyway. Just seems like more stuff to throw away to me.

FNW · Guru

Of course they lose interest. But they lose interest in the expensive gifts they receive, too.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, good point! That's true too! lol

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I gave out the favors as they left. They didn't get them until they were going to the car to leave.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

That's a good idea.

ed11563 · Guru

flan327 wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
The entitlement here is jaw dropping. Wtf.
VOR!!
I was just thinking about you.
How the heck are ya?
I've been lurking. I type a post, delete it, move on. I'm trying to not fight or get frustrated. Maybe I'll just start typing either ffs or wtf. Those both seem to apply to almost all threads lol. Mr.VoR just left this morning so 10 days to focus on the geeks!
Well, we always enjoy having you, VoR.
flan

Yes.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Add favors to the list of things I have no memory of from birthday parties. But, I remember all sorts of fun times with my friends.

FNW · Guru

There were no favors when I was growing up either.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Party favors were not part of parties when I was growing up either.

Neither were wedding favors.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

When I was growing up the local McD's had a basement that you could rent for parties. It was a big deal to get invited to a McD's party. You got a souvenier glass to take home.

Ohfour · Hooker

FNW, just curious. When your kids are invited to parties, do they take separate gifts?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I remember the McD's parties. It was after I was a teenager though. One of my younger cousins had a party at one. It was nice. The kids loved it and I think they each got a box of cookies and little toy.

They had the most fun playing on the playground.

O4, she said up thread that they take 2 gifts.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Oh and Lexxy, in Japan I think it is, McD's will do weddings! Instead of cake you get a 3 foot apple pie!