TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Prudie: Attend Birth or Attend Wedding?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, I sure as heck wouldn't have had my MIL in the birthing room!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This doesn't have to be an "either/or". Go to the wedding and then if she gives birth, fly out and see the baby the next day or whatever. Do people really have that much trouble figuring out their own lives?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

And, no you don't have to be there the second the child is born. That isn't your job as grandparents. Let mom and dad have their private moments. Go visit later.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Go to the wedding. The baby isn't going to know you are not there - your absence at the wedding will be noticed greatly.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I didn't even let my mom in the labor room. Just DH. I think it is a pretty private thing and that's how we wanted it. Just between us.

voiceofreason · Guru

Oh ffs. How can thiseven be a question? Someone has a blatantly favorite child.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

The wedding date is a definite. Babies come when they want. They can always go see the baby ASAP if it comes at the same time as the wedding.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

voiceofreason wrote:
Oh ffs. How can thiseven be a question? Someone has a blatantly favorite child.

Exactly!!! This son could probably take a big poop and she would skip the wedding to flush it for him.

Parents like this piss me off. Why is this even a question? It could be totally irrelevany of the baby comes early, late, etc. This mom is going to be the subject of many future letters, I have no doubt.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
And, no you don't have to be there the second the child is born. That isn't your job as grandparents. Let mom and dad have their private moments. Go visit later.

Absolutely. That wedding is important. she can wait to see the baby when it is a few hours old. Her priorities are screwed up.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So, she basically told her son that her grandchild takes precedence over him, her own child.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

If it were her DD having the baby I could see the conflict. But still she should choose the wedding.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

No one came to the hospital to see me. Everyone waited until we go home. It was perfect.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Dil probably doesn't even want them at the birth. Looks like grandma has a case of the baby rabies.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

So this is a head banging question? Get a grip woman. Go to the wedding.
People really are nuts.
And, I agree, this son is not a priority in this mom's mind at all. Good grief, how sad.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Really surprised that she isn't asking son to change wedding date.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Bonny22Pye wrote:
No one came to the hospital to see me. Everyone waited until we go home. It was perfect.

My entire family came to the hospital. I was exhausted. And the baby was in the NICU so they could only see her a little bit. I thought it was nice because they all live 2 hours or so away, but for me I wish they had waited til I got home.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Mellow Momma wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Oh ffs. How can thiseven be a question? Someone has a blatantly favorite child.
Exactly!!! This son could probably take a big poop and she would skip the wedding to flush it for him.
Parents like this piss me off. Why is this even a question? It could be totally irrelevany of the baby comes early, late, etc. This mom is going to be the subject of many future letters, I have no doubt.

Can't believe she is so stupid to even have to ask this.

Blankie · Guru

Did she get an invitation to the wedding? Yes.

And did she get an invitation to the delivery room? Didn't think so.

This thing about people crashing the delivery room has got to stop.

It's no place for anyone except the expectant parents.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I'm still having a hard time understanding why she even has to ask. The wedding is set in stone. The baby will come when the baby comes. Expectant parents don't need 450 family members and friends traipsing through their hospital room. Sheesh.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

We literally had a waiting room full of people when DD's were born. At least 12 people. But not in the delivery room, and they didn't see ME, just the baby.

But this mom is not thinking straight. To skip your son's wedding...just...no. Just no. No!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

What if the baby doesn't come until the week after the wedding. All that stressing done for nothing. OH NO!

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Exactly. Or 2 weeks early.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Because babies ALWAYS come on the day intended!

Tangerine · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
No one came to the hospital to see me. Everyone waited until we go home. It was perfect.
My entire family came to the hospital. I was exhausted. And the baby was in the NICU so they could only see her a little bit. I thought it was nice because they all live 2 hours or so away, but for me I wish they had waited til I got home.

There were about ten people in the waiting room when Bunny was born. I really would have preferred to have people visit when I was more ready and presentable.

MIL and my dad both got kicked out of the delivery room. Two different times, apparently. I didn't notiice anything happening in the room, Husband told me about it later. They had walked in "just to see how things were going".

This LW should definitely go to the wedding. I really hope she does.

FNW · Guru

My in-laws arrived a day or two after the boys were born. The first 24 hours following their birth, I was in the cardiac ward ICU, so they couldn't have seen me anyway. And the babies were in the NICU, and had to be escorted, one at a time, inside. My parents were in the waiting room, and were only able to catch a glimpse of me when they wheeled me out of the elevator on the way to cardiac thanks to a kind nurse who tipped them off as to which elevator to wait by. My husband, thankfully, took them in to see the boys while I was crunching ice in ICU. My husband and I did not tell them everything about my condition, as I did not want to worry them. If there had been a wedding for them to attend, I would have been just as happy, even though I was happy they were nearby. I would never have begrudged them if they were at my brother's wedding.

Anything can happen during childbirth. It makes more sense to be kicking up your heels at your son's wedding then go to the hospital after. I really don't see the dilemma. I might see one if it had been their own daughter in childbirth, but not a DIL.

Lindley · Guru

I'm sure the mother to be's parents would be there which I'm sure the mom to be would prefer. My daughter wanted me here with her rather then anyone else. I don't really blame her, this might be her first grandchild and wants to be there too as well as the wedding.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I am strange. I wouldn't want to schedule a wedding around the time a birth this close to the future grandparents.

Of course the wedding could have been planned before the pregnancy.

I can understand wanting to be at both.

But weddings take about an hour, maybe two.

Go to the wedding.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I am strange. I wouldn't want to schedule a wedding around the time a birth this close to the future grandparents.

Of course the wedding could have been planned before the pregnancy.

I can understand wanting to be at both.

But weddings take about an hour, maybe two.

Go to the wedding.

Around here, weddings are an all day affair. Wedding at 2pm at the latest and then pictures and then the reception all night. But yes, your point is correct. It's one day. Go to both.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lindley wrote:
I'm sure the mother to be's parents would be there which I'm sure the mom to be would prefer. My daughter wanted me here with her rather then anyone else. I don't really blame her, this might be her first grandchild and wants to be there too as well as the wedding.

OK - but this is not her daughter, it's her DIL.

ETA - Sorry - read this wrong. Just ignore me. My head hurts.

-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Thursday 22nd of January 2015 06:34:32 PM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know the day of the wedding can last a long time.

But if it came right down to it, you don't have to spend the whole day at the wedding activities. An hour or two would work if you needed to travel a long distance.

Another thing. I didn't care if my MIL was there. I did want my mom there though. I wanted someone there for me and someone there to stay with the baby.

But that is me.