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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Miss Manners: No Help with Baby
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Miss Manners: No Help with Baby
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've been pleasantly surprised with how strangers have treated me during both of my pregnancies. They open doors, carry groceries, offer well wishes -- this list goes on and on.

The issue is that as soon as I've had the baby and am wrestling with the baby carrier, diaper bag, stroller and everything else that goes along with an infant, people act like I don't exist and they don't see me. I'm often struggling to just get through doors as people whiz by without a second glance.

Although I don't think there is any formal etiquette surrounding this situation, please remind your readers that moms need the most support, assistance and often patience after the baby is born, and they are trying to muddle through errands after they've finally made it out of the house.

I am not under any illusion that strangers owe me anything because I'm struggling with all of my baby gear, but the difference in how I was treated when pregnant and then with an infant has always puzzled me.

GENTLE READER: Why is it that the prospect of a new life seems ever more enchanting then the life itself?

Miss Manners is pleased to hear that you were treated well during your pregnancies -- and if the same people who showed you empathy don't understand what comes next, then she needs to have a talk with them not only about manners, but also about biology.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2015/1/29/strangers-kindness-disappears-after-baby-is



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People always helped me out when I struggled getting the stroller through doors and I help others out whenever I come across them. I wonder where this LW lives.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I don't really recall one way or the other. But, maybe she doesn't have to haul so much crap. Carrying my kid in the car seat was often too cumbersome. I usually just took my baby out of it and then carried him or her. And, you don't have to haul in everything under the sun to go into a store for a brief period. Just keep the stuff in your car. Moms think they have to be on ready to survive WW3 with a fully stuffed diaper bag.

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voiceofreason


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Huh. That doesn't surprise me AT all.

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Lawyerlady


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I cannot imagine seeing a new mother struggling with a baby and not holding the door. That baffles me.

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Ohfour


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Agree LL, we even have designated parking spaces for parents with babies here.

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Bonny22Pye


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People are always helpful to me. Maybe the LW just has resting bitch face.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I know I do lol.

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lilyofcourse


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Maybe she needs to move to the civilized area where the doors open automatically.

Seriously. It takes a time or two for a new mom to get the hang of things but it wont be long she will be carrying the baby, four bags of groceries, texting and making lists in her head all at the same time.

I don't remember what people did or didn't do when my kids were little.

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I don't get it. Sure people should be nice. But this mom needs to learn how to be self sufficient. I raised three kids on my own and didn't expect anyone to help me get them in and out or deal with them. They were my kids. If I couldn't handle it I didn't go.

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lilyofcourse


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I don't get it. Sure people should be nice. But this mom needs to learn how to be self sufficient. I raised three kids on my own and didn't expect anyone to help me get them in and out or deal with them. They were my kids. If I couldn't handle it I didn't go.

This.

There is a learning curve. She'll get it.  



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Nobody Just Nobody


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lilyofcourse wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I don't get it. Sure people should be nice. But this mom needs to learn how to be self sufficient. I raised three kids on my own and didn't expect anyone to help me get them in and out or deal with them. They were my kids. If I couldn't handle it I didn't go.

This.

There is a learning curve. She'll get it.  

 Maybe it's just the way she writes her letter but to me it comes across as her demanding people help her.  Again, not saying people shouldn't be nice but people also don't owe her anything.



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