TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Comments Section:

Commenter #1; The LW has worse problems than how many packages she can carry, she is indecisive and is making drama outta nothing. What she needs is a lobotomy.

Tinydancer · Guru

Commenter #2 Sheeesh can no one make their own decisions anymore...lol (just had to get that in before LGS)

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dear VoR --

I want to lose weight, but I don't want to exercise or cut calories.

What should I do?

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Comment #3

Oh ffs.

biggrin

-- Edited by just Czech on Saturday 31st of January 2015 04:38:40 PM

Blankie · Guru

Dear VOR,

What does ffs stand for? I've been wanting to know for years, but too chicken to ask.

Could it be Frank furiously screams? Fidelity failed Sondra? Forever farting slowly?

Sincerely,

Curious

-- Edited by Blankie on Saturday 31st of January 2015 04:43:10 PM

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Blankie wrote:
Dear VOR,
What does ffs stand for? I've been wanting to know for years, but too chicken to ask.
Could it be Frank furiously screams? Fidelity failed Sondra? Forever farting slowly?
Sincerely,
Curious

-- Edited by Blankie on Saturday 31st of January 2015 04:43:10 PM

Try "for f u c k s sake".

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Dear VOR,

My BIL came to our house for Christmas. I was showing off my brand new three month old daughter when he told me her hair bow was ugly, tacky, and cheap. I made that bow for her! I went in the other room and cried. My daughter was fussy all day. I know her feelings were hurt by this. I'm wondering if cutting him out of our lives and our will is the right thing to do. What do you think? I don't want my daughter to continue to be emotionally damaged by this man.

Sincerely,
Hurt Forever

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dear VoR:

I can't stand people who say they are going to do something, and don't do it.

We don't care if Mr. VoR is home. We desperately need your advice...

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Dear VOR,

My BIL came to our house for Christmas. I was showing off my brand new three month old daughter when he told me her hair bow was ugly, tacky, and cheap. I made that bow for her! I went in the other room and cried. My daughter was fussy all day. I know her feelings were hurt by this. I'm wondering if cutting him out of our lives and our will is the right thing to do. What do you think? I don't want my daughter to continue to be emotionally damaged by this man.

Sincerely,
Hurt Forever

I'll let VoR handle this one. It's just so..... serious.

Blankie · Guru

just Czech wrote:
Blankie wrote:
Dear VOR,
What does ffs stand for? I've been wanting to know for years, but too chicken to ask.
Could it be Frank furiously screams? Fidelity failed Sondra? Forever farting slowly?
Sincerely,
Curious

-- Edited by Blankie on Saturday 31st of January 2015 04:43:10 PM

Try "for f u c k s sake".

I like "Fred's fruitcake sucks" better.

JPT · Senior Member

Dear VOR,
I am having a terrible time trying to decide which magical herbs to use while steaming my lady bits.What would you suggest?

Signed,
Steaming Lady Lips

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Dear VOR,
I have a slight nut allergy. It doesn't kill me but I get really uncomfortable and break out in hives. I'm going to go with my husband to his sisters Superbowl party. Every year she serves a cheese ball covered in nuts. I know she serves other things too but why does she have to serve nuts? It's so tempting. I think she's secretly trying to kill me. How can I politely tell her she should keep her house completely nut free for me?
Sincerely,
Going nuts

Tinydancer · Guru

It's "fast furious sex" for fun or it could be "for f*cks sake" if you really want to know. evileye

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Dear VOR,
My advice columnist has a husband who is a truck driver. Whenever her husband is home she doesn't answer her column in a timely manner. This really upsets me because I need her input to make my daily life decisions. Why does she have to be so selfish? How can I tell her how selfish she is and should I drop her as a friend?
Sincerely,
Without a Friend

Tinydancer · Guru

Dear VOR, I used tater tops for protection and it didn't work. Not only that when I told my boyfriend he was so mad he forgot to put the shopping cart in the corral and left the ranch dressing in the cart. Should I leave him for being so insensitive or just live without ranch dressing for my everything bagels? Sincerely No job 3 kids and on government assistance

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Tinydancer wrote:
Dear VOR, I used tater tops for protection and it didn't work. Not only that when I told my boyfriend he was so mad he forgot to put the shopping cart in the corral and left the ranch dressing in the cart. Should I leave him for being so insensitive or just live without ranch dressing for my everything bagels? Sincerely No job 3 kids and on government assistance

Blankie · Guru

This is a funny thread. And yes, I did know what ffs means. I was just being ffs.

(Facetiously fatuously silly).

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

VOR is going to love this thread when she comes back.

Blankie · Guru

Dear VoR,

I'm a teacher at the end of my rope.

When I was doing the daily feces inspection, the first three kids had chocolate anuses.

And the fourth had a brooch in his anus which came shooting out at me when he farted.

I don't think I can do this job any more.

Should I quit?

Sincerely,

Splattered With S**t

voiceofreason · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
This is our new advice column. You may ask for advice here with any problems or life issues you have.
Dear VOR,
When I go shopping I can only carry maybe two bags at a time. This seriously limits what I can buy in one trip. In fact, the other day I needed to buy a new outfit for a job interview and also some new makeup but I couldn't carry that many packages at one time. I had to go home without buy anything because I couldn't decide which packages were the most important to carry.
To make matters worse I was starving and thought I'd stop on the way home for something to eat. But there were so many restaurant choices I became burdened and confused and just went home instead. When I got home I thought I'd eat but I couldn't decide between leftover pot roast or some quick and easy soup. I went to bed hungry.
Can you help me decide which packages I should buy next time I go to the store?
Signed,
Lost and alone

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Saturday 31st of January 2015 03:39:55 PM

Dear Lost an Alone,

Oh ffs.

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Dear VoR --

I want to lose weight, but I don't want to exercise or cut calories.

What should I do?

flan

Dear flan,

Oh ffs

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Dear VOR,
My advice columnist has a husband who is a truck driver. Whenever her husband is home she doesn't answer her column in a timely manner. This really upsets me because I need her input to make my daily life decisions. Why does she have to be so selfish? How can I tell her how selfish she is and should I drop her as a friend?
Sincerely,
Without a Friend

biggrin biggrin biggrin

Dear Without a Friend,

Please give me some time to get uhm, well, you know. Busy. Yeah. Busy.

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

Blankie wrote:
Dear VoR,
I'm a teacher at the end of my rope.
When I was doing the daily feces inspection, the first three kids had chocolate anuses.
And the fourth had a brooch in his anus which came shooting out at me when he farted.
I don't think I can do this job any more.
Should I quit?
Sincerely,
Splattered With S**t

Dear Splattered,

Holy ****! And ffs you need to run far and run fast!!

VoR

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

voiceofreason wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Dear VOR,
My advice columnist has a husband who is a truck driver. Whenever her husband is home she doesn't answer her column in a timely manner. This really upsets me because I need her input to make my daily life decisions. Why does she have to be so selfish? How can I tell her how selfish she is and should I drop her as a friend?
Sincerely,
Without a Friend

Dear Without a Friend,
Please give me some time to get uhm, well, you know. Busy. Yeah. Busy.
VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Dear VOR, I used tater tops for protection and it didn't work. Not only that when I told my boyfriend he was so mad he forgot to put the shopping cart in the corral and left the ranch dressing in the cart. Should I leave him for being so insensitive or just live without ranch dressing for my everything bagels? Sincerely No job 3 kids and on government assistance

Dear mooch,

Oh ffs!

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Dear VOR,
I have a slight nut allergy. It doesn't kill me but I get really uncomfortable and break out in hives. I'm going to go with my husband to his sisters Superbowl party. Every year she serves a cheese ball covered in nuts. I know she serves other things too but why does she have to serve nuts? It's so tempting. I think she's secretly trying to kill me. How can I politely tell her she should keep her house completely nut free for me?
Sincerely,
Going nuts

Dear Nuts,

I don't usually say this, oh, ffs!

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

JPT wrote:
Dear VOR,
I am having a terrible time trying to decide which magical herbs to use while steaming my lady bits.What would you suggest?

Signed,
Steaming Lady Lips

Dear SLL,

oh ffs!

VoR

voiceofreason · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Dear VOR,

My BIL came to our house for Christmas. I was showing off my brand new three month old daughter when he told me her hair bow was ugly, tacky, and cheap. I made that bow for her! I went in the other room and cried. My daughter was fussy all day. I know her feelings were hurt by this. I'm wondering if cutting him out of our lives and our will is the right thing to do. What do you think? I don't want my daughter to continue to be emotionally damaged by this man.

Sincerely,
Hurt Forever

Dear HF,

This is my favorite...but still...OH FFS!!!!!!

VoR

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Dear VOR. I want to get my lady bits steamed too. I'm afraid my friends will judge. What do I tell them when they notice my fresh scent?
Signed, Too wash and tumble.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Dear VOR,
When Christmas passed this year I bought all new dish towels on clearance. There were, of course, Christmas themed. We were in dire need of new dish towels as my old ones were falling apart. I really scored big in the post season sales and am still using all the Christmas themed towels even though it is far past Christmas. My daughter says this is unmannerly and that I need to buy new towels that are "in season". Is my etiquette wrong?
Signed,
Towel confused

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Dear VOR,
My sister doesn't love my babies! She insists they aren't anything like her snotty offspring, because they are kitties. She doesn't understand that I love each and every single one of them individually, and every single one has such a distinct personality, and I love them all so much! Recently, she has been complaining to my family members that I never go to events anymore, and that my house 'isn't big enough' for twelve cats! I am so hurt! I feel she is dismissing the vital role my babies play in my life, and how special I am to them. How do I make her see that nothing in life is more important than my babies, and get her to stop being so insensitive?
Signed, Totally not crazy.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dear VoR,

Sometimes I'm hot. Sometimes I'm cold.

Sometimes I'm awake. Sometimes I'm asleep.

But I always love cheese!

Signed,
flan (who realizes the post did not contain a question)

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dear VoR:

Should I take off my nail polish tonight?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Dear VoR:

Do my feet smell? I think they do.

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
Dear VoR:

Do my feet smell? I think they do.

flan

Oh ffs. Smell them and see! biggrin

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Dear VoR:

Do my feet smell? I think they do.

flan
Oh ffs. Smell them and see!

Actually, I had the nicest compliment today. A patron said that the children's area smelled good because of me! LOL

I'm just wearing Bath & Body Works lotion.

flan

voiceofreason · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Dear VOR,
My sister doesn't love my babies! She insists they aren't anything like her snotty offspring, because they are kitties. She doesn't understand that I love each and every single one of them individually, and every single one has such a distinct personality, and I love them all so much! Recently, she has been complaining to my family members that I never go to events anymore, and that my house 'isn't big enough' for twelve cats! I am so hurt! I feel she is dismissing the vital role my babies play in my life, and how special I am to them. How do I make her see that nothing in life is more important than my babies, and get her to stop being so insensitive?
Signed, Totally not crazy.

Dear TNC,

Every once in awhile WTF is more appropriate than oh ffs. This is one of those times. Wtf? 12 cats?

VoR

Blankie · Guru

voiceofreason wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Dear VOR,
My sister doesn't love my babies! She insists they aren't anything like her snotty offspring, because they are kitties. She doesn't understand that I love each and every single one of them individually, and every single one has such a distinct personality, and I love them all so much! Recently, she has been complaining to my family members that I never go to events anymore, and that my house 'isn't big enough' for twelve cats! I am so hurt! I feel she is dismissing the vital role my babies play in my life, and how special I am to them. How do I make her see that nothing in life is more important than my babies, and get her to stop being so insensitive?
Signed, Totally not crazy.
Dear TNC,
Every once in awhile WTF is more appropriate than oh ffs. This is one of those times. Wtf? 12 cats?
VoR

Dear VoR,

What does WTF mean? Could it be whack the floozy?

Sincerely,

Curious

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Blankie wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Dear VOR,
My sister doesn't love my babies! She insists they aren't anything like her snotty offspring, because they are kitties. She doesn't understand that I love each and every single one of them individually, and every single one has such a distinct personality, and I love them all so much! Recently, she has been complaining to my family members that I never go to events anymore, and that my house 'isn't big enough' for twelve cats! I am so hurt! I feel she is dismissing the vital role my babies play in my life, and how special I am to them. How do I make her see that nothing in life is more important than my babies, and get her to stop being so insensitive?
Signed, Totally not crazy.
Dear TNC,
Every once in awhile WTF is more appropriate than oh ffs. This is one of those times. Wtf? 12 cats?
VoR
Dear VoR,
What does WTF mean? Could it be whack the floozy?
Sincerely,
Curious

Watch the flowers?

Win the fox?

flan

Blankie · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Blankie wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Dear VOR,
My sister doesn't love my babies! She insists they aren't anything like her snotty offspring, because they are kitties. She doesn't understand that I love each and every single one of them individually, and every single one has such a distinct personality, and I love them all so much! Recently, she has been complaining to my family members that I never go to events anymore, and that my house 'isn't big enough' for twelve cats! I am so hurt! I feel she is dismissing the vital role my babies play in my life, and how special I am to them. How do I make her see that nothing in life is more important than my babies, and get her to stop being so insensitive?
Signed, Totally not crazy.
Dear TNC,
Every once in awhile WTF is more appropriate than oh ffs. This is one of those times. Wtf? 12 cats?
VoR
Dear VoR,
What does WTF mean? Could it be whack the floozy?
Sincerely,
Curious
Watch the flowers?
Win the fox?
flan

Wax the fur? Waste the felon? Wail too furiously?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Wipe the flannel?

Wet the fleas?

VoR doesn't want us to know!

flan

voiceofreason · Guru

Wtf doesn't know wtf wtf stands for? Wtf do you live? Under a rock? Wtf do I have to answer this?

Jfc. Smfh. Wabofda. biggrin . biggrin

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Heifer!

flan

p.s. Blankie, wanna have a go at "Wabofda?"

chef · Guru

Wtf is abbreviation for wtfws ... wash the feline with steam.

voiceofreason · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Heifer!

flan

p.s. Blankie, wanna have a go at "Wabofda?"

Good luck! That's my code word. biggrin

Blankie · Guru

voiceofreason wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Heifer!

flan

p.s. Blankie, wanna have a go at "Wabofda?"
Good luck! That's my code word.

Wabofda? What a bunch of freakin' donkey a$$es.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Blankie wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Heifer!

flan

p.s. Blankie, wanna have a go at "Wabofda?"
Good luck! That's my code word.
Wabofda? What a bunch of freakin' donkey a$$es.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I love you, Blankie!

flan

Blankie · Guru

flan327 wrote:
I love you, Blankie!

flan

Back atcha flannie. I'm eagerly awaiting VoR weighing in about whether I got it right.

VoR?