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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Stealth Photobomb!
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Stealth Photobomb!
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DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been separated for a year. I have been seeing another woman in a city nearby, and my wife is aware of it.

I took my lady friend out for dinner recently while visiting her in her town. A couple from home who know my wife and me were also eating at this restaurant. I greeted them as we walked by their table.

The next day, my wife approached me and showed me a picture of me and my date that had been taken by this couple without my knowledge. I was furious about the invasion of privacy. My wife claims I am just angry because I got "caught." If I were worried about getting caught, I wouldn't have been in a public restaurant in a city frequented by people who know me.

What are your thoughts on people who secretly take photos like this? Do they really think they are doing their civic duty? -- VIOLATED IN IOWA

DEAR VIOLATED: You have a right to your privacy. If you and your wife have been separated for a year, then with whom you socialize is your own business. The same applies to your wife.

I fail to see what kind of "civic duty" this couple was performing by taking a picture of you and your date. Frankly, I think it was in poor taste and served no good purpose.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/4/separated-husband-feels-ambushed-by-stealth



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Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Sorry, dude. You have no expectation of privacy in a public place. But, I understand why you are annoyed.

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Lawyerlady


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And BTW - that's not a photobomb. Learn the vocabulary, people.

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flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:

And BTW - that's not a photobomb. Learn the vocabulary, people.

Thank you!

flan 



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flan327


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Meddling busybodies!

flan

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FNW


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I'm not sure why the ex-wife is upset with her estranged. I would be more upset with the busy body who sent her the picture.

You can take any picture you like. It's when it's disseminated it becomes a problem. It was inappropriate of the couple to send the picture. It was not inappropriate to take it. Weird, creepy, yes. But in this day and age, security cameras have you on film most everywhere, so there should be no expectation of privacy when leaving your house.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I agree. But taking pictures of other people without their knowledge does have a Creep factor.

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lilyofcourse


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My question is, if they have been separated for a year, why not just divorced already?

Even if they are separated, they are still married. I know it is just a technicality. But they are still married. Get the divorce.

Oh and let the couple who took the picture and sent it know you do not appreciate it. Make sure they know it didn't help anything or any one.

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Ohfour


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lilyofcourse wrote:

My question is, if they have been separated for a year, why not just divorced already?

Even if they are separated, they are still married. I know it is just a technicality. But they are still married. Get the divorce.

Oh and let the couple who took the picture and sent it know you do not appreciate it. Make sure they know it didn't help anything or any one.

In many states, you cannot even file for divorce until you've been legally separated for a year. 



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Bonny22Pye


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Maybe she's pissed because even though they are separated she doesn't think he should be dating. Just because you separate and tell your spouse what you are doing doesn't mean they condone it. Personally I think you should wait until your divorce is finalized to start dating.

But..life isn't always so black and white.

Based just upon the letter I'd be pissed about the picture too.

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Ohfour


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Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

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Tignanello


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Well, and I'd be worried about divorce proceedings if my partner could prove I'd been unfaithful during the separation. It's still adultery.

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Bonny22Pye


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Ohfour wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

 You don't have any just guy friends that you hang out with?



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Ohfour


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Bonny22Pye wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

 You don't have any just guy friends that you hang out with?

Nope.  Not without someone else.   



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ed11563


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Tignanello wrote:

Well, and I'd be worried about divorce proceedings if my partner could prove I'd been unfaithful during the separation. It's still adultery.

Having dinner in a restaurant is not adultery in any state as far as I know. That's what the picture showed.

 

I think he should call up the photographer and ask for a 5 x 7 print, because he'd like to frame it and hang it in his living room .wink



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NAOW


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Ohfour wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

 I learned this the hard way. When I was pregnant with DD7 one of my childhood friends came to town and we met for dinner. DH had plans but told me to go ahead and go. I was really pregnant, DD was born a few days later- I was huge, but that didn't stop DH's brother's girlfriend (who saw us- and didn't come over and say hello or anything) from telling the rest of his family that she saw me on a date with another man. It is really not fun trying to fix your reputation when you didn't do anything wrong. 



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Honeys_Mom


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NAOW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

 I learned this the hard way. When I was pregnant with DD7 one of my childhood friends came to town and we met for dinner. DH had plans but told me to go ahead and go. I was really pregnant, DD was born a few days later- I was huge, but that didn't stop DH's brother's girlfriend (who saw us- and didn't come over and say hello or anything) from telling the rest of his family that she saw me on a date with another man. It is really not fun trying to fix your reputation when you didn't do anything wrong. 

What a tool.furious



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Southern_Belle


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NAOW wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, the couple didn't realize that they were separated. But they still handled this wrong. They could have called and put out feelers. You know: how've you been? How's Joe doing? That would have given her the opportunity to tell them that they are separated.

This is EXACTLY why I do not go to dinner or lunch with male vendors alone. I don't want to even give the perception that something improper is going on. Too many people talk...

 I learned this the hard way. When I was pregnant with DD7 one of my childhood friends came to town and we met for dinner. DH had plans but told me to go ahead and go. I was really pregnant, DD was born a few days later- I was huge, but that didn't stop DH's brother's girlfriend (who saw us- and didn't come over and say hello or anything) from telling the rest of his family that she saw me on a date with another man. It is really not fun trying to fix your reputation when you didn't do anything wrong. 

 What a biatch!



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NAOW


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Yes, thankfully her and BIL broke up soon after.

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Seems to me the wife was ok with him dating as long as it wasn't in her face. And that couple may not have known they were separated. They may have wanted to give the wife proof of hubby's cheating ways. Reminds me of previous Dear Abby type letters that ask if the LW has witnessed such a scene should they tell the wife that her husband was on a date with someone else.

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