TOTALLY GEEKED!

Ohfour · Hooker

RE: Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Ohfour wrote:
Where did the article say she chose her mother over the baby? Maybe she can't go to New Zealand for some reason?

The father wanted to take the whole family to New Zealand. The wife said she didn't want to leave her mother and sister. Unless she's a criminial or something she should be able to go to New Zealand as his legal wife.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

This is from her side of the story... Several excerpts...

I faced two options: to take care of the child on my own in Armenia, or to abandon my maternal instincts and extend the baby an opportunity to enjoy a decent life with his father in New Zealand. I went for the second option.

and realised that only a move to a country with such standards as New Zealand would entitle my son to a decent life.

with my salary of 180$ being partly supported by my sister and living in my mother's place and having no other income

Those are just a couple. She could have moved with him but she didn't want the baby...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

voiceofreason wrote:
This is from another board and I found it thought provoking:

If it is okay to give up a perfectly healthy child because you are not willing to parent it, or believe that someone else will do it better, why does that suddenly become villainous with a baby who would be conceivably harder to care and provide for? Is it because we view the first as giving a gift to people dying to be parents and the second as passing on a burden to be carried by someone else?

This child wouldn't be going to another family - it would be going to an orphanage. And this doesn't sound like an unplanned pregnancy that someone is having to deal with. A planned child that doesn't turn out "good enough" so you just abandon it? That makes you a bad person.

Had she been planning to give the child up, anyway - then not an issue, but doing so because it doesn't meet your perfect expectations, and when it won't be adopted? That baby is their responsibility.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

tlc wrote:
So what, there's currently no infrastructure for support. That is because of the attitudes of the country. If people wanted to change those attitudes, they could, but they probably don't want to. Again, our country, just 50 years ago, hell, even 30 years ago, didn't have the support systems in place, but people started seeing disabled children as children, not something to just put away in a home or get rid of because it's too hard. Our attitudes have changed, (not enough even yet, but have changed drastically) because people actively changed it. Theirs could too. So to just say "well, that's just the way that country views it" isn't acceptable. It needs to change. People complain about all the problems here in the States, but I'm glad I live here, not Armenia or any other backwards country that doesn't value people who are less than perfect.

And nothing will change as long as people continue to act like she did.

tlc · Regular

Lawyerlady wrote:
tlc wrote:
So what, there's currently no infrastructure for support. That is because of the attitudes of the country. If people wanted to change those attitudes, they could, but they probably don't want to. Again, our country, just 50 years ago, hell, even 30 years ago, didn't have the support systems in place, but people started seeing disabled children as children, not something to just put away in a home or get rid of because it's too hard. Our attitudes have changed, (not enough even yet, but have changed drastically) because people actively changed it. Theirs could too. So to just say "well, that's just the way that country views it" isn't acceptable. It needs to change. People complain about all the problems here in the States, but I'm glad I live here, not Armenia or any other backwards country that doesn't value people who are less than perfect.
And nothing will change as long as people continue to act like she did.

Exactly. At some point, you would think they would think "wait, this isn't right" and fight for the rights of the disabled as we have, and other first-world countries.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
voiceofreason wrote:
This is from another board and I found it thought provoking:

If it is okay to give up a perfectly healthy child because you are not willing to parent it, or believe that someone else will do it better, why does that suddenly become villainous with a baby who would be conceivably harder to care and provide for? Is it because we view the first as giving a gift to people dying to be parents and the second as passing on a burden to be carried by someone else?
This child wouldn't be going to another family - it would be going to an orphanage. And this doesn't sound like an unplanned pregnancy that someone is having to deal with. A planned child that doesn't turn out "good enough" so you just abandon it? That makes you a bad person.
Had she been planning to give the child up, anyway - then not an issue, but doing so because it doesn't meet your perfect expectations, and when it won't be adopted? That baby is their responsibility.

This. I don't care what the social system says. You either love your child or you don't.