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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby: Husband is Not in Love With Me
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Husband is Not in Love With Me
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DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mason," and I have been married for 10 years. We have a beautiful 7-year-old daughter and have just found out we are having another girl. The day we learned her gender, Mason dropped a bomb on me. He said he's not in love with me anymore, and it has been eating at him for a while. He said he was too scared to tell me sooner.

He won't talk to anyone and doesn't seem to want to fix it. We both came from broken homes and had always agreed not to do that to our kids. But I can't act like everything is normal under the same roof.

He says he'll stay at his brother's place at night after our daughter goes to sleep. He's at work before she's up for school anyway. We agreed that if she wakes up at night and calls out for him, I should tell her he got "called in to work." Please give me some advice. -- BROKEN IN NEVADA

DEAR BROKEN: By the age of 7, your daughter is old enough to recognize tension between her parents. She is also aware enough to comprehend that her father is no longer living there if he's spending his nights elsewhere, particularly if he intends to carry on this charade for any length of time.

You say your husband "won't talk to anyone," but he owes you some straight answers. If he hasn't been in love with you "for a while," he shouldn't have fathered a second child with you.

Would his feelings be different if the baby you're carrying was a boy? Could there be another woman involved? Your husband owes it to you and those children to act responsibly and at least try to save his marriage. Running away is not the answer.

In the meantime, my advice is to talk to a lawyer and take your cues from her or him about protecting yourself and your children financially. Doing so does not mean you "must" file divorce papers, but you will have someone who isn't emotionally involved looking out for your interests.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/2/12/couple-tries-to-pretend-all-is

 



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Tinydancer


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Definitely get a lawyer to protect your interests. I think lying to the kids will only make it worse in the long run because they will figure it out.

I love your new avatar LGS!

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lilyofcourse


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Get a lawyer. Freeze accounts. Stop living in a fantasy world.

The sooner this band aid is ripped off, sooner the wound can heal.

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Charley Harper
Lawyerlady


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What a dick.

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Southern_Belle


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Ugh!

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flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:

What a dick.

Scared baby, too.

flan 



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I feel so sorry for her.

My husband's parents did not divorce for many, many years after they separated. They would actually "pretend" they were still married on holidays, so that MIL's parents did not find out. (Strict Catholic family and she didn't want to break their hearts). FIL went along with it. She would go to the house (she moved out from the family home) and cook a big dinner and they'd all be a family for the day.

FIL took them on a vacay in the US Virgin Islands. All four went. Unbeknownst to the children, this was supposed to be a "reconciliation" trip. The kids were in their late teens. When they got there, MIL wanted to "take things slow" and share the room with her daughter, and not FIL. FIL was very angry and filed for divorce when they returned. Not one who enjoyed being alone, he married sMIL soon after SIL moved out.

I know several couples who divorced once the kids graduated high school. I'm not sure how well they got along in the home, and I'm not sure how the children felt when their parents divorced or during the time beforehand. I know my husband thought it was "weird" that they would do those pretend meals. I know my SIL held out hope that her parents would reunite.

This man dropped a horrible bomb on his wife during a very difficult time. I hope she mourns her loss quickly and finds strength to do what she must do.



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lilyofcourse


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It is a punch in the gut to find out something like this while pregnant. I don't know if it is more painful or not. It rips your soul.

But if a woman is strong a puts her health and her kids first, she gets past it and does what she has to so her kids are healthy, stable and happy.

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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

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burns07


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well, they're at least two sides to every story--he certainly seems the coward, though--regardless of his feelings for his lady, he needs to see to it that his daughters and their mother are cared for / provided for--you don't walk away from your children and leave their fate to chance


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