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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Miss Manners:Can I Use the Same Church?
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My cousin got married not quite two years ago. The ceremony and reception were lovely, and I was considering using the same beautiful church for my own wedding, which I am just beginning to plan.

However, since my cousin's marriage was short-lived, I am not sure whether using the same church would be disrespectful and distasteful. There are other wonderful churches nearby, but this one also has an enchanting environment, near a lake. What would be the proper thing to do?

GENTLE READER: The last Miss Manners checked, churches were exempt from curses. But then, the last she checked, bridal couples were supposed to choose their wedding churches on the basis of something deeper than scenery.

No, wait. The last she really heard was that churches were actually being regarded as stage sets. In that case, surely more than one show can be put on there.

http://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2015/2/12/guy-who-sends-valentine-is-hoping

 



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voiceofreason


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Oh ffs.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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But, but, someone will know we got married in the same church. And ,that might not be fashionable! And, they got divorced so what if that happens to us now because it's like the SAME church!

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Miss Manners, Why am I soooo F*ing stupid???

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It seems to me that Miss Manners gets snarkier and snarkier with each passing year. It isn't very mannerly. She is almost downright rude to the writers. I find that ironic and somewhat distasteful. It also doesn't help her get her message across very well. When you are stinging from her latest barb, you are unlikely to be listening when she chasitses you about wedding etiquette.

As for the LW - ffs. It's a church. Surely others are allowed to use it?

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Good point on Miss Manners. For someone who is "mannerly" she is very sarcastic. Honestly, I don't believe the letters are real anyway. But, if they are, then they are writing to her for help, even if they are idiots, and she should respect that as such.

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ed11563


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If they want a venue where NO ONE who got married there had ever gotten divorced,

they should first check the history of their parents' houses and,

see if either of them qualify.

 

If not, check out the houses of any neighbors who've lived there a long time, and have lots of children.

I think that would bring good Ju-Ju (of Mo-Jo, or Karma, if I'm using the words correctly).

 



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flan327


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Dear Miss Manners, Why am I soooo F*ing stupid???

 Because.

flan



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Sin City Girl


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I am reading it differently. I thought she was asking if it might be distasteful and disrespectful to her cousin and family. I assume since she went to her cousins wedding that she would also invite the cousin. I probably wouldn't use the same church since it sounds like she doesn't have any association with it other than its pretty.

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karl271


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Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

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Fort Worth Mom


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karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

Roger that, Karl.

Silly us.no 



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Fort Worth Mom wrote:
karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

Roger that, Karl.

Silly us.no 

 A lot of people don't go to church.



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karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

 Well, I did not realize this until recently, but our church is popular for weddings because it has a center aisle.  Many churches no longer have center aisles.



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Fort Worth Mom


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

Roger that, Karl.

Silly us.no 

 A lot of people don't go to church.

Roger that.

And, if you don't go to church, don't expect to get married, in one.

JMHO.

Try the County Courthouse for your wedding. 

Or a park. Or a house. Or a boat. Or, whatever.

Don't expect to get married in a church, unless you are a member of that church.

Again, JMHO.



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Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

Roger that, Karl.

Silly us.no 

 A lot of people don't go to church.

Roger that.

And, if you don't go to church, don't expect to get married, in one.

JMHO.

Try the County Courthouse for your wedding. 

Or a park. Or a house. Or a boat. Or, whatever.

Don't expect to get married in a church, unless you are a member of that church.

Again, JMHO.

 DH and I initially got married at the Justice of the Peace.  We said our vows with only our parents and children there.  Then we all went out to dinner.  Nine months later we had a ceremony.  But we didn't have a church and we didn't feel right getting married in one because of that.  We also didn't feel like it was right to get married in a church if we didn't agree with their values.  So we got married at a Bed and Breakfast that specialized in weddings.  They had a whole area set up specifically for outdoor weddings and a chapel that they rented out.  You could pick which place you wanted to say your vows.  We had both the vows and the reception outside and then stayed for four days at the Bed and Breakfast in the honeymoon suite.  I thought it was great.  I wouldn't do it any other way.



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Fort Worth Mom


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
karl271 wrote:

Silly me. I thought people got married in the church that they attended....

Roger that, Karl.

Silly us.no 

 A lot of people don't go to church.

Roger that.

And, if you don't go to church, don't expect to get married, in one.

JMHO.

Try the County Courthouse for your wedding. 

Or a park. Or a house. Or a boat. Or, whatever.

Don't expect to get married in a church, unless you are a member of that church.

Again, JMHO.

 DH and I initially got married at the Justice of the Peace.  We said our vows with only our parents and children there.  Then we all went out to dinner.  Nine months later we had a ceremony.  But we didn't have a church and we didn't feel right getting married in one because of that.  We also didn't feel like it was right to get married in a church if we didn't agree with their values.  So we got married at a Bed and Breakfast that specialized in weddings.  They had a whole area set up specifically for outdoor weddings and a chapel that they rented out.  You could pick which place you wanted to say your vows.  We had both the vows and the reception outside and then stayed for four days at the Bed and Breakfast in the honeymoon suite.  I thought it was great.  I wouldn't do it any other way.

That sounds really nice, NJN.

A wonderful way to get married, if you don't attend a church.

You did just fine.smile 



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It was really nice. I wouldn't have had it any other way!

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Momala


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It sounds to me like the LW might be concerned about the feelings of her guests - presumably the same ones who attended her cousin's wedding.

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Momala wrote:

It sounds to me like the LW might be concerned about the feelings of her guests - presumably the same ones who attended her cousin's wedding.

 Yeah, that's the way I took the letter.  Thoughtful of the LW but I think unnecessary to move her wedding.



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