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ed11563


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Dear Prudence - Surprise Package
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Surprise Package

Prudie advises a woman horrified that her husband’s friend drew a penis on their wedding guestbook.

Q. Guestbook Caricature: At my recent wedding, we had our guests sign a matte surrounding a picture of us getting married that I had intended to hang in a prominent place in our home. Unfortunately, a friend of my husband’s chose to celebrate the occasion by depicting a very crude rendering of male genitalia on the matte. I was extremely upset upon seeing the final result. My husband agrees that it was in poor taste but isn’t willing to bring it up to his friend because there is really nothing that can be done at this point. I can’t now hang it in my home. Should I bring it up to his friend and let him know how much it hurt my feelings? I certainly don’t want him to think what he did was funny or have him do it again to another bride. My husband says it is OK if I want to bring it up, since my feelings were hurt and he will support me, but he will not broach the topic on his own. In order to continue to socialize with this person, I feel I need to clear the air.

A: I totally understand your reaction, but if a crude (possibly drunk) friend of my husband’s had done that to a matte I wanted to hang in my house, I would have found it hilarious and hung the illustration of being hung in a prominent place. It would be a kind of Where’s Waldo wedding photo. Before you slip into despair, check with an excellent framing place about what can be done. I would be surprised if there wasn’t some kind of cosmetic fix that would be able to largely eradicate this graffito. If so, fix it and move on. I suppose if you confront him and say how hurt you were by his penis drawing, he would hang his head in shame. But without further evidence, I’m not convinced this guy is a serial penis-drawer, committed to offending brides. If you can’t fix it and you can’t let it go, you can always say, “Hey, Peter, it’s good you kept your day job and didn’t go into cartooning.”

 

 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Oh ffs. Stick a wedding sticker over it, frame it, and be done with it.

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just Czech


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Gosh, if that's the worst goof from her wedding, she's darn lucky.
Besides, outside of your wedding picture, most people do not hang wedding stuff on their walls unless they think they are really "special", as in VSS's.
Either fix it or ditch it.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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Yep, craft store time. Get a little bell sticker or something. A bow. Stick it right over the penis. Problem solved.

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NAOW


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This would piss me off. The point of having guests sign a picture matte is to hang it in your home, my dad and step mom did it and several of my friends, it's not that uncommon. The guy is a jerk, but there isn't much that can be done about it so take the advice and hope for the best.

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ed11563


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Do you think it would be risky to let this graffiti artist visit her home?

 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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NAOW wrote:

This would piss me off. The point of having guests sign a picture matte is to hang it in your home, my dad and step mom did it and several of my friends, it's not that uncommon. The guy is a jerk, but there isn't much that can be done about it so take the advice and hope for the best.

 I'd be pissed at the dude too but what's done is done.  It's too late to get all angry about it.  I guess you could but people like that usually don't change so no point.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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ed11563 wrote:

Do you think it would be risky to let this graffiti artist visit her home?

 

 ffs, what's he going to do to her house?



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just Czech


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ed11563 wrote:

Do you think it would be risky to let this graffiti artist visit her home?

 

Why? Do you think she might kill him?

He definitely deserves a slap up the back of the head, that's for sure. 



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Fort Worth Mom


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NAOW wrote:

This would piss me off. The point of having guests sign a picture matte is to hang it in your home, my dad and step mom did it and several of my friends, it's not that uncommon. The guy is a jerk, but there isn't much that can be done about it so take the advice and hope for the best.

Picture matte?

That people signed?

Never heard of it.confuse

Lucky me!biggrin 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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FWM, it's a new thing. You buy a matte for your wedding picture. You put it by the guest book and you have everyone sign it. Then when you get your wedding picture you frame it with the matte that everyone has signed. I've seen other versions too. I saw a tree with branches that everyone could sign. All kinds of things.

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Fort Worth Mom


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

FWM, it's a new thing. You buy a matte for your wedding picture. You put it by the guest book and you have everyone sign it. Then when you get your wedding picture you frame it with the matte that everyone has signed. I've seen other versions too. I saw a tree with branches that everyone could sign. All kinds of things.

I guess so. It's been a while since I've been to a wedding.

Ten years, or more.

This is a fad, I would have no problem skipping.wink 



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WYSIWYG


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I agree with Fort Worth Mom. This is a fad I would have no problem skipping as well.

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NAOW


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My parents did it 25 years ago, so don't really think it's a new fad...

Sort of like this.

17756.jpg



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Nobody Just Nobody


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We did it. The matte is still sitting a box waiting for me to frame our picture which is still sitting in a box...

We have an album. It's on top of a bookcase.

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NAOW


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I wish I would have done it. You know how many times I've looked at my guest book since I got married? None. Why even have a guestbook (everyone I've seen do it has done it instead of a guestbook)?Doing this or something similar makes more sense IMO.


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just Czech


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DS's girlfriends family did one for their baby shower. The picture was of their gender revealing photo. It is really cute and people wrote very nice parenting advice.

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NAOW wrote:

I wish I would have done it. You know how many times I've looked at my guest book since I got married? None. Why even have a guestbook (everyone I've seen do it has done it instead of a guestbook)?Doing this or something similar makes more sense IMO.

 It does make more sense.  I just never got around to hanging mine.



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Fort Worth Mom


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NAOW wrote:

My parents did it 25 years ago, so don't really think it's a new fad...

Sort of like this.

17756.jpg

I've never seen it, NAOW. And I've been married coming up on 34 years.

And, who has friends with that good of handwriting?confuse

I call BS on that matt!biggrin 



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NAOW


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I did do the matte thing when we went to DIsney. Instead of buying a book for DD to have the characters sign I bought two mattes and put pictures of DD and the princesses in them and hung them in her room. It's really cute.

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just Czech


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LOL, FWM. Yeah, my writing is atrocious. I'm sure that is a professional display example.

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just Czech


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NAOW wrote:

I did do the matte thing when we went to DIsney. Instead of buying a book for DD to have the characters sign I bought two mattes and put pictures of DD and the princesses in them and hung them in her room. It's really cute.

Sounds like a treasure. smile 



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I drink coffee so I don't kill you.

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Faith isn't something that keeps bad things from happening. Faith is what helps us get through bad things when they do happen.
NAOW


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Fort Worth Mom wrote:
NAOW wrote:

My parents did it 25 years ago, so don't really think it's a new fad...

Sort of like this.

17756.jpg

I've never seen it, NAOW. And I've been married coming up on 34 years.

And, who has friends with that good of handwriting?confuse

I call BS on that matt!biggrin 

 Well, yea, Lol. This is a stock photo. 



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I have a framed matte from DD's baby shower. Its a great Idea. I think the friend is this situation is a jerk. but I can't imagine someone with creativity can't write something over it to cover it up. I wouldn't put a sticker on it, it's a wedding picture not a 4YO's bday party pic!

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

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Ilumine


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

 So what happens if a friend comes over and draws a penis on your freshly poured cement pavement?



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flan327


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Ilumine wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

 So what happens if a friend comes over and draws a penis on your freshly poured cement pavement?

He's an immature azzwipe...and the bride is supposed to think it's FUNNY?

no

flan 



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Lawyerlady


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
NAOW wrote:

This would piss me off. The point of having guests sign a picture matte is to hang it in your home, my dad and step mom did it and several of my friends, it's not that uncommon. The guy is a jerk, but there isn't much that can be done about it so take the advice and hope for the best.

 I'd be pissed at the dude too but what's done is done.  It's too late to get all angry about it.  I guess you could but people like that usually don't change so no point.

 Why can't she be angry?  I don't get it.  Yes, she might be able to fix it, but she has every right to be pissed off.  The idiot should pay for the framing fix, too.



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flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
NAOW wrote:

This would piss me off. The point of having guests sign a picture matte is to hang it in your home, my dad and step mom did it and several of my friends, it's not that uncommon. The guy is a jerk, but there isn't much that can be done about it so take the advice and hope for the best.

 I'd be pissed at the dude too but what's done is done.  It's too late to get all angry about it.  I guess you could but people like that usually don't change so no point.

 Why can't she be angry?  I don't get it.  Yes, she might be able to fix it, but she has every right to be pissed off.  The idiot should pay for the framing fix, too.

If she is going to have to associate with this "friend," she needs to talk to him.

flan 



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Blankie


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The guy's a jerk. I'd be mad too, but you gotta get over it.

She should go to the scrapbooking section at Michael's, and find some nice elegant sticker she can put on.



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flan327


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Blankie wrote:

The guy's a jerk. I'd be mad too, but you gotta get over it.

She should go to the scrapbooking section at Michael's, and find some nice elegant sticker she can put on.

 I would be tempted to tell her to find some way to mess up his wedding, but I doubt there are women standing in line to marry him.

flan



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I guess I'd better learn calligraphy before I go to another wedding.

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Fort Worth Mom wrote:
NAOW wrote:

My parents did it 25 years ago, so don't really think it's a new fad...

Sort of like this.

17756.jpg

I've never seen it, NAOW. And I've been married coming up on 34 years.

And, who has friends with that good of handwriting?confuse

I call BS on that matt!biggrin 

 I'd be more offended if a person was to write "GOOD LUCK!!" on my matte.  WTF is that supposed to mean?  That's what I expect somebody to say if I'm paddling across a lake in a boat that has a hole in it.  

I'm kidding.  But it is almost as stupid as a penis drawing..  Good luck!  Okay.  

I would talk to the guy who drew a penis.  It would be a brief ribbing (pun intended)  How old are you?  Like, 13?  You ruined my Matte and now I'm going to call you dick every time I see you.  



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TrudyML


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Have him over. Get him drunk enough to pass out and draw a peen on his face with a non washable marker.

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Ilumine wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

 So what happens if a friend comes over and draws a penis on your freshly poured cement pavement?

If it's My cement, then it's MY circus. 



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Fort Worth Mom


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Ilumine wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

 So what happens if a friend comes over and draws a penis on your freshly poured cement pavement?

If it's My cement, then it's MY circus. 

It was her matte, so it was her circus. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Oops. Sorry! I read that as a friend's wedding. It is her circus, lol.

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Blankie


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TrudyML wrote:

Have him over. Get him drunk enough to pass out and draw a peen on his face with a non washable marker.

Yeah! I'd go even further - get invited to his place, sneak into his closet and draw peens on every item of his clothing with  non-washable marker.



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Blankie for the win!

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I think the purpose of the matte as opposed to the guest book is that guests can leave MESSAGES. Write words of blessing, wisdom, and joy. Or genitalia in this case. I agree the guy was a total dick, pun intended, but people who do stuff like that don't change. If he was sober and did it he's a complete dick. If he was drunk then that speaks a lot about his character that he would get that drunk at a friends wedding and lose all control. Either way he's probably NOT going to change. And talking to him about it is only going to put him on the defensive and make him think you're a bitch. I would wean him out of my life slowly. I just choose not to associate with people who can't act like grown ups. And I would probably make some sarcastic comment to him about it. Such as, "Hey Dick, you know that life size rendering of your penis you drew on our wedding matte? It was so tiny I was able to easily find a sticker to put over it! How lucky am I?"

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Lindley


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I would be upset if that happened to me.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Not her circus not her monkeys! What his grown up friend DOES is none of her business.

 Her wedding - her circus.  And yes, what people do at her wedding to her property most certainly IS her business. 



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I said I misread it.

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flan327


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Give him a brand new matte & have him take it to every single guest who signed it and explain WHY he's doing it.

flan

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Blankie


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I like that one! Ha!



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Kick him in the penis?

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flan327


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Kick him in the penis?

Just start calling him "Micro Dick."

flan 



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ed11563


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flan327 wrote:

Give him a brand new matte & have him take it to every single guest who signed it and explain WHY he's doing it.

flan

This is a GREAT idea. It's the same as having graffiti "artists" clean their work off of walls or subway cars. 

Jerks have to be taught that their obnoxious actions have consequences, so they are less likely to keep doing them.

 



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"Give him a brand new matte & have him take it to every single guest who signed it and explain WHY he's doing it." - flan327

What if he agrees to do that, but returns with the new matte including more artwork of his, only it's bigger or otherwise more noticeable? I think the best option is to just cover it up or repair it somehow.

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