TOTALLY GEEKED!

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Doctor refuses child of same-sex couple.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

When Krista and Jami Contreras brought their child to Eastlake Pediatrics in Roseville, Michigan, the women thought they would be meeting with Dr. Vesna Roi, the pediatrician their midwife had suggested.

lesbianmomsThey’d met Roi before and said that they’d liked her. Krista said, “We were really happy with her. The kind of care she offered, we liked her personality, she seemed pretty friendly. She seemed pretty straight up with us.”

Imagine their surprise when another doctor came out and told them that Dr. Roi had decided not to treat their child. Another doctor, Dr. Karam, informed the parents that Dr. Roi had prayed about it and decided she couldn’t care for the baby.

civil wedding of a lesbianNine months after the appointment, the Contreras received this letter from Dr. Roi stating, “After much prayer following your prenatal, I felt that I would not be able to develop the personal patient-doctor relationships that I normally do with my patients.”

The parents said they were humiliated. I know I would be too. It’s a harsh reminder for these two moms who just brought a new child into the world: bigotry is alive and well.

There are no protections in the state of Michigan for LGBT people being turned away like this. Even as same-sex marriage is on the fast track to becoming the law of the land, the LGBT community still needs other crucial protections.

That’s why I’m always harping on issues like workplace discrimination and equal employment opportunities for LGBT Americans. These are incredibly important issues that are often overlooked in the focus on marriage equality.

I hope this baby can grow up in a world where moms don’t face this kind of discrimination.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I am seeing red right now.

flan

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Thank you, SB!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I do not see a problem here.

This is not an emergency situation. Parents find the doctor that is best for them and their family.

This doctor is being up front and stating that she cant see the baby on an ongoing basis.

This is not a big deal. Doctors refuse to see patients for all kinds of reasons.

This is simply a couple of women looking for their 15 minutes. Move on to another doctor.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
I do not see a problem here.

This is not an emergency situation. Parents find the doctor that is best for them and their family.

This doctor is being up front and stating that she cant see the baby on an ongoing basis.

This is not a big deal. Doctors refuse to see patients for all kinds of reasons.

This is simply a couple of women looking for their 15 minutes. Move on to another doctor.

The BABY is innocent.

What are other VALID reasons that doctors refuse to see patients?

flan

Bonny22Pye · Guru

I can understand a doctor not providing treatment for transitioning to another sex (hormone therapy etc.) but I don't get not treating someone. Its a baby. That's her job.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The baby has been put in this situation by these two women.

The baby will forever be paying this price.

And it is a valid reason.

Would you prefer the doctor continue to see the baby and not develop the care and concern most pediatricians do for their little patients? The lack of care and concern would filter its way into the treatment.

As for reasons, people are refused by doctors for all kinds of reasons.

Mom has worked in doctor's offices and with doctors for the better part of 40 years. They have their filters, limits and feelings when deciding who and when to treat.

They need to mark this up to not finding the right doctor yet.

That is all this is.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Why would these women WANT this doctor treating their baby? If I knew my doctor didn't like me I wouldn't let him care for my kids.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Bonny22Pye wrote:
I can understand a doctor not providing treatment for transitioning to another sex (hormone therapy etc.) but I don't get not treating someone. Its a baby. That's her job.

And the midwife recommended her!

Of course, they're better off not seeing her, but it's ridiculous. What if it WAS the ER? What then?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Why would these women WANT this doctor treating their baby? If I knew my doctor didn't like me I wouldn't let him care for my kids.

Because the midwife recommended her, for starters?

If it was me, I'd publicize it. Maybe she'll lose patients because of her attitude.

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Why would these women WANT this doctor treating their baby? If I knew my doctor didn't like me I wouldn't let him care for my kids.
Because the midwife recommended her, for starters?
If it was me, I'd publicize it. Maybe she'll lose patients because of her attitude.
flan

That's on the midwife though. Not the doctor. The midwife should know the doctor better. She should know who she is recommending.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
I can understand a doctor not providing treatment for transitioning to another sex (hormone therapy etc.) but I don't get not treating someone. Its a baby. That's her job.
And the midwife recommended her!
Of course, they're better off not seeing her, but it's ridiculous. What if it WAS the ER? What then?
flan

You didn't read the article.

If this was in the ER then the doctor would treat the child.

This is not an emergency. This is a regular old pediatrician.

The doctor referred them to another doctor.

That happens every single day in a pediatricians office.

My kids have been seen by 5 different doctors at the same peds office. The doctor didn't have to give any reason. That was her mistake. She could have said she wasn't able to take them on t the present time.

Either way. This is not a big deal.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Bonny22Pye wrote:
I can understand a doctor not providing treatment for transitioning to another sex (hormone therapy etc.) but I don't get not treating someone. Its a baby. That's her job.
And the midwife recommended her!
Of course, they're better off not seeing her, but it's ridiculous. What if it WAS the ER? What then?
flan
You didn't read the article.
If this was in the ER then the doctor would treat the child.
This is not an emergency. This is a regular old pediatrician.
The doctor referred them to another doctor.
That happens every single day in a pediatricians office.
My kids have been seen by 5 different doctors at the same peds office. The doctor didn't have to give any reason. That was her mistake. She could have said she wasn't able to take them on t the present time.
Either way. This is not a big deal.

To YOU, Lily...to YOU.

flan

ed11563 · Guru

What if, instead of being same-sex moms, they were mixed-race heterosexuals? Or both black or yellow or green or purple?

I'm annoyed that she "prayed" about it. What kind of religious LEADER these days encourages this kind of behavior?

Do the (supposed) "sins" of the parent carry forward for seven generations? One?

karl271 · Guru

She prayed about it and decided she couldn't take care of the baby. Red flag for me here. Wonder which God she prayed to? Would she treat a baby with Muslim parents? from a mixed marriage? with a Voodoo background? devil worshipers?

Getting the job of being a doctor mixed up with her faith, whatever it is. I, too, would try to publicize this and check with the midwife who should have known about the doctor she was recommending.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

So you want some one caring for your child out of duty?

Like I said, the only thing the doctor did was give a reason.

It isn't a big deal. Find another doctor. I don't know why it would be a big deal.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I wouldn't want that doctor to treat my child. She may lose other patients over this.

karl271 · Guru

Sure do. I do not expect doctors, firemen, policemen, etc. to love my kids, but it is their DUTY to watch out and care for them. Add teachers, etc. etc.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And in emergency situations, they do.

They take the oath and all to first do no harm.

This is not an emergency situation. They need someone to treat basic, every day things and give their kid its shots.

If this child presented at the ER, of course the doctor would treat the baby.

That is not the case here.

Why is that so hard to grasp?

karl271 · Guru

Because I am a little slow???

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I wasn't directing that at you. Speaking in general. Sorry if it came across that way.

But it still stands.

This is not an emergency situation. So not a big deal. Find another doctor.

I went through 3 peds before finding the right one for our family.

This is what happens when you are looking for a doctor.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
And in emergency situations, they do.

They take the oath and all to first do no harm.

This is not an emergency situation. They need someone to treat basic, every day things and give their kid its shots.

If this child presented at the ER, of course the doctor would treat the baby.

That is not the case here.

Why is that so hard to grasp?

And you know this how?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

karl271 wrote:
Because I am a little slow???

You're just fine, karl.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And in emergency situations, they do.

They take the oath and all to first do no harm.

This is not an emergency situation. They need someone to treat basic, every day things and give their kid its shots.

If this child presented at the ER, of course the doctor would treat the baby.

That is not the case here.

Why is that so hard to grasp?
And you know this how?
flan

Because in the ER they are just doing their duty.

And they have that pesky thing about doing no harm.

And that is what this doctor is doing.

No harm.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't agree with this. She is caring for the child. And, making judgments on the parents lives seems beyond the realm of her duties. I mean, is she personally opposed to unmarried couples having children and bringing them in, etc? If so, then OK, maybe she has deep held beliefs that would interfere with her judgment. However, she routinely cares for unmarried couples with children, then I would have to argue that is pretty much the same type of thing if you are viewing it in that light.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I love this part:

Imagine their surprise when another doctor came out and told them that Dr. Roi had decided not to treat their child. Another doctor, Dr. Karam, informed the parents that Dr. Roi had prayed about it and decided she couldn’t care for the baby.

Yes, she eventually wrote a letter but she couldn't even tell them herself.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't agree with this. She is caring for the child. And, making judgments on the parents lives seems beyond the realm of her duties. I mean, is she personally opposed to unmarried couples having children and bringing them in, etc? If so, then OK, maybe she has deep held beliefs that would interfere with her judgment. However, she routinely cares for unmarried couples with children, then I would have to argue that is pretty much the same type of thing if you are viewing it in that light.

Exactly.

She needs to concentrate on the CHILDREN & not be a busybody about the PARENTS.

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

You can sue and force people to treat you. That is perfectly fine. You CANNOT sue and force people to like you. End of story. I would find another doctor. And I don't care if the doctor didn't want to treat me because I was a mixed race couple, a Muslim, or a purple people eater. I don't care what the reason is. You don't like me, I'll go somewhere else.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And why is that?

She didn't do anything but be honest.

She is not doing anything wrong. She has referred them to another doctor.

She is doing the right thing. For all of them.

Can no one see that?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
You can sue and force people to treat you. That is perfectly fine. You CANNOT sue and force people to like you. End of story. I would find another doctor. And I don't care if the doctor didn't want to treat me because I was a mixed race couple, a Muslim, or a purple people eater. I don't care what the reason is. You don't like me, I'll go somewhere else.

Or a Republican... biggrin

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
And why is that?

She didn't do anything but be honest.

She is not doing anything wrong. She has referred them to another doctor.

She is doing the right thing. For all of them.

Can no one see that?

No, Lily, you're the only one smart enough to see that...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

NJN, your post got between mine and Gagas.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I've heard of doctors who won't take on obese patients. Kind of the same thing. Discrimination is discrimination.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And why is that?

She didn't do anything but be honest.

She is not doing anything wrong. She has referred them to another doctor.

She is doing the right thing. For all of them.

Can no one see that?
No, Lily, you're the only one smart enough to see that...
flan

If you cant see that this is better for all of them, then you have to be very myopic in your thinking.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

And often parents ask their pediatrician for non medical advice. I'm worried my child doesn't have enough friends... My mom just died and my child doesn't seem to be adjusting well... I'm worried that my child... There are many non medical issues parents discuss with doctors. Those are all value things. I wouldn't want my doctor with totally different values giving me advice.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
I've heard of doctors who won't take on obese patients. Kind of the same thing. Discrimination is discrimination.

Doctors may refuse to take care of patients. They are not obligated to treat anyone except in an emergency. Lilly is correct about that. Doctors may refuse on religious grounds or because they don't agree with the treatment the patient wants, etc. And, if the Doctor refers the patient out, I don't necessarily see a problem with that.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
You can sue and force people to treat you. That is perfectly fine. You CANNOT sue and force people to like you. End of story. I would find another doctor. And I don't care if the doctor didn't want to treat me because I was a mixed race couple, a Muslim, or a purple people eater. I don't care what the reason is. You don't like me, I'll go somewhere else.
Or a Republican...
flan

And if they don't like me because I'm a Republican then I'll go elsewhere too. I'm not going to FORCE someone to like me.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Just as we can choose our doctors based on their lifestyle.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

However, doctors don't have to LIKE anyone. And, I don't think this case is about liking. She is refusing based on their lifestyle. And, there are times doctors turn down patients. For instance, if you are noncompliant in medical treatment, a doctor can drop you from his/her practice. Or, if you are obnoxious to their staff or they simply don't want to treat you, then they can drop you.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
I've heard of doctors who won't take on obese patients. Kind of the same thing. Discrimination is discrimination.
Doctors may refuse to take care of patients. They are not obligated to treat anyone except in an emergency. Lilly is correct about that. Doctors may refuse on religious grounds or because they don't agree with the treatment the patient wants, etc. And, if the Doctor refers the patient out, I don't necessarily see a problem with that.

Exactly. If they don't want to take them because they're black, fat, ugly, or have bad toenails they can refuse care.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
However, doctors don't have to LIKE anyone. And, I don't think this case is about liking. She is refusing based on their lifestyle. And, there are times doctors turn down patients. For instance, if you are noncompliant in medical treatment, a doctor can drop you from his/her practice. Or, if you are obnoxious to their staff or they simply don't want to treat you, then they can drop you.

Did this happen to you?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And why is that?

She didn't do anything but be honest.

She is not doing anything wrong. She has referred them to another doctor.

She is doing the right thing. For all of them.

Can no one see that?
No, Lily, you're the only one smart enough to see that...
flan
If you cant see that this is better for all of them, then you have to be very myopic in your thinking.

I am NOT the only person saying that it's unfortunate that bigots exist.

flan

-- Edited by flan327 on Friday 20th of February 2015 05:35:28 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
Just as we can choose our doctors based on their lifestyle.

That's true to. However, the point of caring isn't really to stand in judgment of someone's lifestyle. We don't refuse to treat someone bleeding alongside the road because they did some dumbass thing or whatever.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
However, doctors don't have to LIKE anyone. And, I don't think this case is about liking. She is refusing based on their lifestyle. And, there are times doctors turn down patients. For instance, if you are noncompliant in medical treatment, a doctor can drop you from his/her practice. Or, if you are obnoxious to their staff or they simply don't want to treat you, then they can drop you.
Did this happen to you?
flan

My sister in law! LOL!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Is it bigotry if a patient won't go see a certain doctor and/or their clinic and staff because they know the doctor is gay?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
However, doctors don't have to LIKE anyone. And, I don't think this case is about liking. She is refusing based on their lifestyle. And, there are times doctors turn down patients. For instance, if you are noncompliant in medical treatment, a doctor can drop you from his/her practice. Or, if you are obnoxious to their staff or they simply don't want to treat you, then they can drop you.
Did this happen to you?
flan
My sister in law! LOL!

I was making a joke! Wow!!!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Is it bigotry for a woman to want a female gynecologist?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

No. It's wanting someone with small hands to go down there.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Sounds like bigotry to me. Small hands. You are stating a preference aren't you to the exclusion of some? biggrin

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Friday 20th of February 2015 05:45:38 PM