Q. Frustrated Girl: I am a girl college freshman who has never had a boyfriend. I have had feelings for a few guy friends but despite some subtle hints nothing has ever happened. I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I am decently attractive and intelligent. I was more reserved in high school and only started really having boys as friends in college. I am not sure why they aren’t interested in me as it seems like everyone else is having much more success in dating/finding partners.
A: You are way more normal than you realize. Sure, it may seem as if everyone is pairing up or hooking up and you somehow missed the message on how to get in on this. But far more people than you think are actually observing from the sidelines and thinking, “What’s wrong with me that no one is interested?” You don’t need a boyfriend now. In fact, it may be better at this point in your college career not to get committed to one person. But what you do is start dating. (This is a concept that was popular in the 20th century. I’m sure if you Google it, you will find some references to what it entails.) You are kind of shy, so look around for the same kind of shy guys. They may be thinking you’re really cool, but they would rather die than say, “Do you want to get some pizza then go to the concert together?” So, you be the one to say it. This is not a race, and there’s no deadline. You are gaining confidence and experience, which is what young people are supposed to be doing at your age. So put yourself out there a little more, and enjoy the adventure.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
