If a man takes the afternoon off to golf, he is seen as "networking" or some crap like that. He deserves it. He is owing off steam.
If a woman leaves work to pick up her kids from school and drop them off at the babysitter, then returns to work and stays over to make up the time she missed --- people talk about it for days. And not flatteringly.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
If a man takes the afternoon off to golf, he is seen as "networking" or some crap like that. He deserves it. He is owing off steam.
If a woman leaves work to pick up her kids from school and drop them off at the babysitter, then returns to work and stays over to make up the time she missed --- people talk about it for days. And not flatteringly.
Yep. That's actually why I work where I do, it is very family friendly.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
And that is sexism. Why can he do what he wants and she can't? Then when review time comes, it is determined that she doesn't have as good of a rapport in the office as the man. It isn't because of anything she has done, it's because of how others decide to judge her actions. Which she cannot control.
This is why when you say sexism doesn't exist Lily, I just can't take you seriously. Too many women that I know fight this battle every day. To dismiss thier struggle by saying it doesn't exist, because you have not experienced it, is narrow minded.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
And that is sexism. Why can he do what he wants and she can't? Then when review time comes, it is determined that she doesn't have as good of a rapport in the office as the man. It isn't because of anything she has done, it's because of how others decide to judge her actions. Which she cannot control.
This is why when you say sexism doesn't exist Lily, I just can't take you seriously. Too many women that I know fight this battle every day. To dismiss thier struggle by saying it doesn't exist, because you have not experienced it, is narrow minded.
I had to do a lot of dealing with the corporate side of service, so I think I saw a good deal of the professional side of it.
I don't know. If you say you have experienced it then I believe you.
I just don't think a lot of what is thought to be sexism actually is.
Like the black woman who is offended when she is told she resembles a black actress. The woman takes it to mean all black people look alike but it is meant to say she has similar features that are attractive and is a compliment.
I don't think a lot of what is thought to be sexism is meant to be.
-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Wednesday 11th of March 2015 10:31:59 AM
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And that is sexism. Why can he do what he wants and she can't? Then when review time comes, it is determined that she doesn't have as good of a rapport in the office as the man. It isn't because of anything she has done, it's because of how others decide to judge her actions. Which she cannot control.
This is why when you say sexism doesn't exist Lily, I just can't take you seriously. Too many women that I know fight this battle every day. To dismiss thier struggle by saying it doesn't exist, because you have not experienced it, is narrow minded.
Or maybe you should look at it as someone who hasn't expereinced it and know that it isn't every where and that is a good thing.
Instead of it's still a big problem, it's getting better.
Half full or half empty?
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And that is sexism. Why can he do what he wants and she can't? Then when review time comes, it is determined that she doesn't have as good of a rapport in the office as the man. It isn't because of anything she has done, it's because of how others decide to judge her actions. Which she cannot control.
This is why when you say sexism doesn't exist Lily, I just can't take you seriously. Too many women that I know fight this battle every day. To dismiss thier struggle by saying it doesn't exist, because you have not experienced it, is narrow minded.
Or maybe you should look at it as someone who hasn't expereinced it and know that it isn't every where and that is a good thing.
Instead of it's still a big problem, it's getting better.
Half full or half empty?
People who think that because they don't see something, it doesn't exist make it a HUGE problem. Look how much time you have spent here denying that it exists when LL and I both have given you examples of where and how we have seen it - and we are on the opposite sides of most issues. When people deny a problem exists because they don't see the problem, that makes the problem even harder to fight.
And it IS like racism in that people these days won't say out loud "I don't hire blacks/women" but may have racist/sexist practices in place that they don't even recognize are racist/sexist. Just because they don't THINK those practices aren't racists/sexist doesn't mean they aren't. If you have every intention of hiring a black person, but throw away all resumes of qualified people named "Quaniesha" because you don't like their name - that's racist. Notice I said qualified people.
And either you are the luckiest woman in the world who has worked for the most enlightened companies and supervisors, or you are blind. For your sake, I hope you are the luckiest.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Or I don't see every comment, action, and attitude as sexist.
I don't analyze things to figure out how it was meant. Some one asks me about food, I don't think they are doing it because of my sex. I don't care what some ones position is.
I never got up set because the district insisted on two guys be there when we unloaded the truck. Did he do that because I was a woman? I doubt it cause I unloaded the truck too.
I guess I should have been offended by that.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Or I don't see every comment, action, and attitude as sexist.
I don't analyze things to figure out how it was meant. Some one asks me about food, I don't think they are doing it because of my sex. I don't care what some ones position is.
I never got up set because the district insisted on two guys be there when we unloaded the truck. Did he do that because I was a woman? I doubt it cause I unloaded the truck too.
Or I don't see every comment, action, and attitude as sexist.
I don't analyze things to figure out how it was meant. Some one asks me about food, I don't think they are doing it because of my sex. I don't care what some ones position is.
I never got up set because the district insisted on two guys be there when we unloaded the truck. Did he do that because I was a woman? I doubt it cause I unloaded the truck too.
I guess I should have been offended by that.
Neither do we, but SOME are.
flan
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I had to do a lot of dealing with the corporate side of service, so I think I saw a good deal of the professional side of it.
I don't know. If you say you have experienced it then I believe you.
I just don't think a lot of what is thought to be sexism actually is.
Like the black woman who is offended when she is told she resembles a black actress. The woman takes it to mean all black people look alike but it is meant to say she has similar features that are attractive and is a compliment.
I don't think a lot of what is thought to be sexism is meant to be.
-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Wednesday 11th of March 2015 10:31:59 AM
How about this - a woman I know has worked at the same company for 30 years, and is the boss's personal assistantand HR manager. Every time she has asked for a raise, EVER, she has been told no - she has only ever gotten cost of living increases. The male manager all make about more than her and get raises when they ask.
Or, how about when a judge will allow a male attorney to ramble on and on, and then tells me to shutup when I try to dispute the argument. Yes, I have been told to shutup by a male chauvanist judge.
The fact that you don't see it does not mean it doesn't exist. Is everything sexism? Of course not - I've said that over and over again. But, it still exists, and a lot more than you think.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Ok how about this. You are talking about lawyers and judges. Why isn't any one doing something to change it? Where are the law suits?
30 years and this woman has never questioned this with any one that could actually get results? Why?
I have never said it never happens. I said real sexism. If it is stopping you from doing your job, getting ahead, raises, then I agree.
But the other things, who is asked what and that kind of thing, isn't always sexism.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Ok how about this. You are talking about lawyers and judges. Why isn't any one doing something to change it? Where are the law suits?
30 years and this woman has never questioned this with any one that could actually get results? Why?
I have never said it never happens. I said real sexism. If it is stopping you from doing your job, getting ahead, raises, then I agree.
But the other things, who is asked what and that kind of thing, isn't always sexism.
Of course she has complained. And then she will get "benefits", like an extra week off, or a company car. Problem with the company car is that any time the company "needed" it, they would take it back. And why hasn't she sued? Not everyone is sue happy or wants to get involved in litigation.
We aren't talking about the "other things", I said right off the bat that it had to affect your job or rights.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Ok how about this. You are talking about lawyers and judges. Why isn't any one doing something to change it? Where are the law suits?
30 years and this woman has never questioned this with any one that could actually get results? Why?
I have never said it never happens. I said real sexism. If it is stopping you from doing your job, getting ahead, raises, then I agree.
But the other things, who is asked what and that kind of thing, isn't always sexism.
But by not calling attention to the little things, we create a culture where the big things are accepted. If you don't point out people's sexism (even if it is unintentional, it's still sexism) you are failing to give them an opportunity to grow and learn and think differently.
When I pointed out the sexism of asking the electronics manager the grocery questions because she was a woman and asking the grocery manager the electronics questions because he was a guy - it opened up real dialogue amongst the staff and showed them how they were being unintentionally sexist. It caused a major shift in thinking amongst the staff and the leaders both. People actually worked together better than they had before because everyone felt valued for their knowledge - which is what work should be all about !
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Not to mention that by asking the person who actually was IN that department, the leaders got to spend more time IN their departments rather than walking back and forth across the store to help someone! More customers were waited on and had shorter wait times.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Well the OPIs a shirt label that is funny. No one's job is being effected by the tag. So all the "it's sexist" crap is just that. Crap.
It went from 0-off with the sexist's head in two comments.
This is what I am saying. True sexism is bad. Real bad. But this just isn't sexist. It's a label.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
And it could be a clever marketing strategy designed to get attention.
It could be anything you want it to be.
It doesn't have to be anything.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Is this a foreign company? Some of them think they are being humorous when it is just offensive.
When I lived in Japan, there was a fad of shirts and hats that had a figure of a man holding a gun to a woman's head and said "BITCH" under the picture. It was not funny.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Things like that tag ingrain sexist behavior in younger generations. Yeah, its a joke and in bad taste and hopefully enough people talked about it so dumb little idiots didn't actually get it their heads that only women do laundry.
Things like that tag ingrain sexist behavior in younger generations. Yeah, its a joke and in bad taste and hopefully enough people talked about it so dumb little idiots didn't actually get it their heads that only women do laundry.
If a friggin TAG would make them think that, then either their parents have failed miserably or they are too stupid to boil water, mush less wash their own clothes.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
I laughed. I think it's funny. It doesn't offend me in the least...
Well, you're obviously sexist...
flan
Completely different from
lilyofcourse wrote:
It's funny. It's a joke not a slam. People have zero idea of what true sexism is. This is not it.
In YOUR opinion.
flan
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Lily - if you can't see the difference between your post and O4's let me break it down for you.
O4 gave her opinion amd told us it didn't offend her.
You gave your opinion and told the rest of us we had no idea what we were talking about.
HUGE difference in the two posts. Thus the different responses.
That was my very first post on this thread.
Everything after that was discussion on my part and being told I was wrong on your part.
Go back and read it. I'll wait.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Oh you are wrong. I don't deny that. You are also rude for telling the rest of us that sexism just doesn't exist and we have no idea what we are talking about.
Again, your posts and o4's are totally different and thus got different responses.
Not sure what you are trying to prove by quoting the posts and the responses you got.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I laughed. I think it's funny. It doesn't offend me in the least...
Well, you're obviously sexist...
flan
HAHAHA! That's it! Seeing that I don't cook, rarely clean, and DON'T WASH CLOTHES! If G brought me that shirt with that tag, I would laugh. He's still trying to show me how to load the dishwasher "correctly" and when I need to add softener to the wash. (the adding softener thing is a peeve of mine. Our washer has a little cup in the middle and you can add it before the wash, but he doesn't like that. So, HE does the laundry...)
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Oh you are wrong. I don't deny that. You are also rude for telling the rest of us that sexism just doesn't exist and we have no idea what we are talking about.
Again, your posts and o4's are totally different and thus got different responses.
Not sure what you are trying to prove by quoting the posts and the responses you got.
My very first post did not tell any one any thing. You have to be completely paranoid if you found it telling you or anyone anything.
I was asked to elaborate. I did. Then that was disected. I said I had never expereinced it but you called me ignorant.
My comments were all general and related to my experience and my opinion.
You told me I was wrong, ignorant and rude.
I think you need to step back and see your own hypocrisy.
I even said I believed you but it wasn't my experience. You even got offended at that.
So far, the only one that has tried to make me feel like a dumb woman, is you.
Think about that.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Why? You called me a bitch before. Your tact is severely lacking.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I do not understand you people that can't load a dishwasher. My DH is like you, and the thing is - he empties is everytime. I load it, he empties it. After years of emptying my perfectly loaded dishwasher, you would think it would teach him something. But NOOOOO.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I do not understand you people that can't load a dishwasher. My DH is like you, and the thing is - he empties is everytime. I load it, he empties it. After years of emptying my perfectly loaded dishwasher, you would think it would teach him something. But NOOOOO.
HAHAHAHA! G NEVER likes how I do it, no matter how hard I try!!!!
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
But I never liked how mom did it. She didn't use the space wisely. She always had two loads.
I could get it all in one. It's a big puzzle. You just have to figure it out.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I do not understand you people that can't load a dishwasher. My DH is like you, and the thing is - he empties is everytime. I load it, he empties it. After years of emptying my perfectly loaded dishwasher, you would think it would teach him something. But NOOOOO.
HAHAHAHA! G NEVER likes how I do it, no matter how hard I try!!!!
DH puts far too many dishes in there. The water has to be able to circulate, doesn't it???
As to sexism in jobs: I've probably experienced it. If I did, it wasn't serious enough for me to do something about it. I do know that at one job, I never received the high score on attendance even though I very rarely was absent and never was late. My chronically late (also female) coworker consistently received the high score on attendance. Reflecting back, it probably had a lot to do with the fact that she kissed management arse and I didn't. Oh well.
As to dishwashers: I taught DH how to load a dishwasher. He tweaked my way a bit and feels it works better than my way so he doesn't like me (or anyone else) loading the dishwasher. Sucks for me. Not! :P
Why? You called me a bitch before. Your tact is severely lacking.
Lily, you deliberately push people's buttons, and sometimes they snap.
I did. I'm human.
flan
Here's the thing though, you raise holy hell when someone makes a general comment and make a big stink about it.
But you did this and don't see a problem with it.
So I don't believe you have any right saying anything to any one about name calling. Period.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
The only thing you can do with that one is burn it.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.