TOTALLY GEEKED!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

RE: Crazy Rules

Ohfour · Hooker

Bonny22Pye wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
That still doesn't answer the question. A rule with no purpose? Why have it? Just because you can?
Like I tell my kids, it doesn't matter if you think it has a purpose, value, reason or what you think or feel about it. It is my rule and it will be followed. The only time you can not follow my rules is when it will cause you physical harm or you move out and are in your own house.

You don't care about your kids feelings? You are not willing to discuss a rule with them so that they understand it? You just demand blind obedience?

Nope. Nope. Yep...

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Children are children for a reason. Parents are parents for a reason. Not every single decision requires a long conversation about what is right and wrong. Sometimes it's simply, it's my house. You will follow my rules. I don't get this. My kids know why they can't eat and drink other places. We don't have to discuss the reasons every day. It's the rules. If they get caught with a drink somewhere else (rare, and have never caught food in their rooms) they are just asked to take it to the kitchen. Why do some parents believe everything has to be a discussion? Parents get to make the rules. That's why they are parents.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Bonny22Pye wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
That still doesn't answer the question. A rule with no purpose? Why have it? Just because you can?
Like I tell my kids, it doesn't matter if you think it has a purpose, value, reason or what you think or feel about it. It is my rule and it will be followed. The only time you can not follow my rules is when it will cause you physical harm or you move out and are in your own house.

You don't care about your kids feelings? You are not willing to discuss a rule with them so that they understand it? You just demand blind obedience?

Yes.

Not one so simple.

Something this simple? You bet you sweet butt I do.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

I think parents need to teach their children what the rules are and why. Personally I've found kids are more respectful and follow the rules if they understand the rules. I don't think everything needs to be open to a long discussion, but an explanation is reasonable.

Kid - Can I take a snack in my room?
Parent - No, you no the rule is food only in the kitchen
Kid - How come we have that rule?
Parent - Food is messy and we only eat at the table.
End of discussion.

Not that hard.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Children are children for a reason. Parents are parents for a reason. Not every single decision requires a long conversation about what is right and wrong. Sometimes it's simply, it's my house. You will follow my rules. I don't get this. My kids know why they can't eat and drink other places. We don't have to discuss the reasons every day. It's the rules. If they get caught with a drink somewhere else (rare, and have never caught food in their rooms) they are just asked to take it to the kitchen. Why do some parents believe everything has to be a discussion? Parents get to make the rules. That's why they are parents.

Because they want to be their friends.

Kids need parents to be parents. Period.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
That still doesn't answer the question. A rule with no purpose? Why have it? Just because you can?
Like I tell my kids, it doesn't matter if you think it has a purpose, value, reason or what you think or feel about it. It is my rule and it will be followed. The only time you can not follow my rules is when it will cause you physical harm or you move out and are in your own house.

Well at least you are admitting your rules have no purpose.

huskerbb · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Children are children for a reason. Parents are parents for a reason. Not every single decision requires a long conversation about what is right and wrong. Sometimes it's simply, it's my house. You will follow my rules. I don't get this. My kids know why they can't eat and drink other places. We don't have to discuss the reasons every day. It's the rules. If they get caught with a drink somewhere else (rare, and have never caught food in their rooms) they are just asked to take it to the kitchen. Why do some parents believe everything has to be a discussion? Parents get to make the rules. That's why they are parents.

But all rules should have a purpose--otherwise why have them.

My my rules weren't up for discussion, either--but they were rules for a reason, not just a whim.

Tinydancer · Guru

Parents make the rules and they have their reasons. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean there aren't reasons.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Parents make the rules and they have their reasons. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean there aren't reasons.

I've asked several times for the reasons and the ONLY one given for this rule to date is some version of I said so--so they obviously don't have a real reason for it.

msrock · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Parents make the rules and they have their reasons. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean there aren't reasons.
I've asked several times for the reasons and the ONLY one given for this rule to date is some version of I said so--so they obviously don't have a real reason for it.

You obviously have no reading comprehension because it's been addressed.

msrock · Guru

More than once... by several different posters. ugh.

huskerbb · Guru

Yeah-- by saying "my house my rules" which isn't a reason.

msrock · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Yeah-- by saying "my house my rules" which isn't a reason.

Um. Apparently you skipped some posts.

Tinydancer · Guru

Not having a good day with reading comprehension husker? It's been addressed several times but as usual you only see what you want to see.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Parents make the rules and they have their reasons. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean there aren't reasons.
I've asked several times for the reasons and the ONLY one given for this rule to date is some version of I said so--so they obviously don't have a real reason for it.

I don't have to explain my reason to my kids. I have my reasons. They don't need to know them.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Bonny22Pye wrote:
I think parents need to teach their children what the rules are and why. Personally I've found kids are more respectful and follow the rules if they understand the rules. I don't think everything needs to be open to a long discussion, but an explanation is reasonable.

Kid - Can I take a snack in my room?
Parent - No, you no the rule is food only in the kitchen
Kid - How come we have that rule?
Parent - Food is messy and we only eat at the table.
End of discussion.

Not that hard.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You act like you are doing anything different in this little drama than I am saying. Is it still your rule?

What if they disagree or find it arbitrary? Are you willing to answer the "why?" Each time? Going to explain every time?

You are talking about something simple.

What about later? Wearing their seat belt, curfew, going out to a party you said no to?

What about the bigger things? Kids learn from a very young age, like as babies, how to manipulate and test and get what they want.

Parents have to be parents.

If your child is running towards a cliff they don't see but you do, and you yell stop, do you want him to immediately stop or ask a series of questions while you explain?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

It has been addressed MULTIPLE times. But you are like a kid. We have explained our rules to our kids AND the reasons for them. If you continue to demand a reason after I've told you three times you get an "I told you so." I am not going to CONSTANTLY repeat the rules and the reasons over and over and over again. The rules have been laid out and explained. The kids know them.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

And my kids don't ask or take food or drinks in their room. They know better. It's honestly never been an issue.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
That still doesn't answer the question. A rule with no purpose? Why have it? Just because you can?
Like I tell my kids, it doesn't matter if you think it has a purpose, value, reason or what you think or feel about it. It is my rule and it will be followed. The only time you can not follow my rules is when it will cause you physical harm or you move out and are in your own house.

Well at least you are admitting your rules have no purpose.

I will not continue to engage with you after this so pay attention.

Before you comment on something posted you really should make sure what you are saying is relavent.

I have said in this very thread that my kids do eat and drink in other rooms. My only rules about it is bring your dishes and stuff out and drinks on a solid surface.

Now I am sure that your house had rules others would think were meaningless and had no purpose. But they were your rules. And you expected them to be followed.

So it doesn't matter if you, the kids or anyone else thinks they are pointless. They are the rules in that house.

have a nice day.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Bonny22Pye wrote:
I think parents need to teach their children what the rules are and why. Personally I've found kids are more respectful and follow the rules if they understand the rules. I don't think everything needs to be open to a long discussion, but an explanation is reasonable.

Kid - Can I take a snack in my room?
Parent - No, you no the rule is food only in the kitchen
Kid - How come we have that rule?
Parent - Food is messy and we only eat at the table.
End of discussion.

Not that hard.

I absolutely agree, Bonny.

flan

chef · Guru

The reason for any rules DH and I lay down with DS is very simple. We are the parents, he is the child. We make the rules, he follows them or he chooses to receive the consequence for not following that rule. DS does typical one year old stuff but he mostly follows the few rules we have for him at this age.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chef wrote:
The reason for any rules DH and I lay down with DS is very simple. We are the parents, he is the child. We make the rules, he follows them or he chooses to receive the consequence for not following that rule. DS does typical one year old stuff but he mostly follows the few rules we have for him at this age.

There is no need for discussion with a 1 year old. But as kids get older, it could help.

flan

chef · Guru

flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
The reason for any rules DH and I lay down with DS is very simple. We are the parents, he is the child. We make the rules, he follows them or he chooses to receive the consequence for not following that rule. DS does typical one year old stuff but he mostly follows the few rules we have for him at this age.
There is no need for discussion with a 1 year old. But as kids get older, it could help.
flan

Sure. He can ask why and he will be told. But, it won't be a discussion. It will be DH or I stating why and that's that.

He is welcome to ask if (for example) curfew could be extended but that will be on case-by-case basis.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
That still doesn't answer the question. A rule with no purpose? Why have it? Just because you can?
Like I tell my kids, it doesn't matter if you think it has a purpose, value, reason or what you think or feel about it. It is my rule and it will be followed. The only time you can not follow my rules is when it will cause you physical harm or you move out and are in your own house.

Well at least you are admitting your rules have no purpose.

You're not an idiot, you KNOW that's not what she said. What do you gain by twisting her words and (imho) trying to insult her?