Dogs and Peanut Butter?: My innocent, sweet, kind, funny, outgoing, well-adjusted almost-13-year-old boy attended a sleepover with two other boys around the same age. These boys have a friendly, innocent, sweet dog. As a group, they covered their nipples in peanut butter and had the dog lick it off. He shared this with me in an “It was so funny!” kind of way. I am a solo mom and was completely freaked. I said “Don’t do that again, babe.” He asked, “Why not?” I scrambled around. “I just don’t think it’s a nice thing to do to the dog.” He said, “But Fido LOVES peanut butter!” I said something about it being kind of a sexual thing and I don’t think he should do it anymore and he seemed confused and embarrassed. I am not sure how I should have handled it. Thoughts?
A: Taking the tack that this yummy nipple treat was Fido abuse was bound to get a stunned reaction from your son. I’m sure he could assert that Fido was not in any way coerced into licking the peanut butter. There has been a well-noted societal shift in the last generation toward parents being way more involved in their children’s lives, and children feeling able to tell way more to their parents. But this episode makes me think there was something to be said for the era in which parents were off at ****tail parties oblivious to what their children were up to. What happened with Fido sounds indeed like crazy, innocent, hilarious fun. A good time was had by all, especially Fido. Your son wasn’t reporting to you because he felt somehow violated, but because he wanted to share what a good time he had. I think you overreacted and put an unnecessarily dark gloss on this. But this is a good opening for you to have a discussion about coercion and sexual exploration. Say you’ve been thinking over what he told you, and you feel your reaction wasn’t right and you can see that he just had a silly and hilarious episode and you’re glad he told you. Tell him you reacted the way you did because he’s getting older and sexual exploration is part of getting older—and it’s been on your mind. Acknowledge that this is an awkward subject for parents and kids to discuss. Tell him you want him always to feel safe, and have his boundaries respected and to have him respect those of others. Then reiterate that you’re glad he had so much fun at his sleepover.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
My kid wouldn't go back at all and his parent would know why. Along with all the other parents of the kids that were there.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I have raised a 13 yo boy. Given that this was a group of 13 yo boys, at a sleepover, I am more inclined to to believe that this was not the SOLE incident of the night but a culmination of a number of dares, double dares and triple dares that ended with some peanut butter and a dog.
Don't you all remember playing 'Truth or Dare'?
I am 100% sure that bestiality never once crossed their minds. Why? Because they were all there doing it together. And ANYTHING that has to do with a group of boys would not include SEX because it would open each other to the dreaded bullying of being gay (sorry for our homosexual members, but middle school and high school are not the best place to be different) or dog lover.
I mean seriously, can you imagine the crap they will get from the rest of the school?
My idiot 13 yo SS and his two buddies talked each other into whipping out their penises and urinating into my daughter's 0-6mo diapers just to SEE how much the diapers could hold. This same group of idiots, plus 3 or 4 more all stopped riding their bikes on the side of a highway and urinated on an electric fence (not one worry about getting put on the offenders list).
KIDS do stupid things all of the time and it has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with pushing each other as far as they can go.
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“One day, you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again.”
C.S.Lewis
