TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Parking Ticket. Who Should Pay?

Ohfour · Hooker

Wtf? $25 is worth damaging a relationship????? Grow up...

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Ohfour wrote:
Wtf? $25 is worth damaging a relationship????? Grow up...

With your mother no less!

I don't get it.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

Maybe she's broke and 25 is a lot to her right now.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I think it's weird mom gave it and then asked for it back. That's odd. But she did the parking, she should pay the ticket unless mom insisted she park there. Or fight it if there was nothing to show she couldn't park there.

And obviously carting her elderly mother on errands is too much trouble for her. evileye

huskerbb · Guru

But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Pay the stinkin fine and shut up.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Pay the stinkin fine and shut up.

Yes, mom should do that--or at least let the $20 she already gave her go.

huskerbb · Guru

Plus, after the initial incident, they were BOTH satisfied and it should have been over. It's mom who brought the issue back up--not the daughter.

I'd just keep the $20 and never bring it up, again. If mom wants to make an issue of it--let her.

Ohfour · Hooker

Mom may be suffering from some sort of dementia. She may not realize the rift she is causing. My mother is 68 and already not all there. Concessions have to be made...its 25 freaking dollars. Get the fvck over it.

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
Mom may be suffering from some sort of dementia. She may not realize the rift she is causing. My mother is 68 and already not all there. Concessions have to be made...its 25 freaking dollars. Get the fvck over it.

Yes. Mom should get over it. $20 is probably pretty cheap for a taxi ride to the doctor's, anyway.

Ohfour · Hooker

$25 to my mother is totally different than $25 to me.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I would not fight with my Mother over $25.

Ohfour · Hooker

Me either...if she's too old to drive, her income is probably limited...

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Their relationship will be damaged if LW has to pay the ticket? WTF???? Why would anyone damage a family relationship over a parking ticket, plus she parked in the spot, not her mother. She is just mad because her mother needed her to take mom on an unplanned errand. There are obviously other stuff going on here.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yeah how dare that old bag thinks that she should be able to count on her daughter for anything#

Tinydancer · Guru

hahaha..I wouldn't even think of making my elderly mother pay for a parking ticket when I was the one who parked the car. How is this even her mothers fault? Talk about taking responsibility for your own actions. Just because she was doing mom a favor it doesn't mean mom pays for her daughters stupidity for parking illegally.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I'm surprised she didn't charge her for gas.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lol!!

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).

Why is this even the mom's fault? Daughter was the one who parked illegally. Would you actually charge your mom for this? I thought you were at least slightly chivalrous. My bad for thinking such a thing.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I wouldn't take my mom to the doctor if she was sick. In fact, I might take her in the opposite direction. Maybe drop her off in the woods. But I wouldn't charge her gas for that.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

See u have compassion. No gas charge!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I wouldn't take my mom to the doctor if she was sick. In fact, I might take her in the opposite direction. Maybe drop her off in the woods. But I wouldn't charge her gas for that.

I would help you. Just sayin.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
See u have compassion. No gas charge!

I KNOW RIGHT?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I wouldn't take my mom to the doctor if she was sick. In fact, I might take her in the opposite direction. Maybe drop her off in the woods. But I wouldn't charge her gas for that.
I would help you. Just sayin.

Cool. You can hold the map upside down and pretend like you know where we're going.

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
$25 to my mother is totally different than $25 to me.

No kidding. Mom has WAY more money than I do.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So what!

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).
Why is this even the mom's fault? Daughter was the one who parked illegally. Would you actually charge your mom for this? I thought you were at least slightly chivalrous. My bad for thinking such a thing.

No--but my mom would pay the ticket and it would never even be a discussion.

The money should flow only one way in such relationships. I'm both a child and a parent, so I've seen how it goes.

Domestic Engineer · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's weird mom gave it and then asked for it back. That's odd. But she did the parking, she should pay the ticket unless mom insisted she park there. Or fight it if there was nothing to show she couldn't park there.

And obviously carting her elderly mother on errands is too much trouble for her.

Sometimes mothers can be so demanding that it is too much trouble.

My mom would call today wanting to go to the grocery store, then call tomorrow wanting to go to the drug store for shampoo that $0.05 cheaper than the grocery store, then the next day she just had to have a new kitchen rug, next day the rug would be the wrong color and she'd want to return it so it wouldn't be on her charge card statement. This went on for years. I finally had enough and quit jumping thru her endless loops.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
$25 to my mother is totally different than $25 to me.
No kidding. Mom has WAY more money than I do.

My mother doesn't. I pay several of her bills as it is. She cannot drive, so she relies on me and my sister to get her places. Obviously, her mother can't drive herself either.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If u have a relationship of keeping score that is sad.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).
Why is this even the mom's fault? Daughter was the one who parked illegally. Would you actually charge your mom for this? I thought you were at least slightly chivalrous. My bad for thinking such a thing.
No--but my mom would pay the ticket and it would never even be a discussion.

The money should flow only one way in such relationships. I'm both a child and a parent, so I've seen how it goes.

So because you parked like an idiot you'd charge your mom because she has more money. I understand now.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
If u have a relationship of keeping score that is sad.

Who said anything about "keeping score"????

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).
Why is this even the mom's fault? Daughter was the one who parked illegally. Would you actually charge your mom for this? I thought you were at least slightly chivalrous. My bad for thinking such a thing.
No--but my mom would pay the ticket and it would never even be a discussion.

The money should flow only one way in such relationships. I'm both a child and a parent, so I've seen how it goes.
So because you parked like an idiot you'd charge your mom because she has more money. I understand now.

I wouldn't "charge" anyone anything.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

$25 is keeping score.

huskerbb · Guru

Also, who said I parked anywhere???? I've never had a parking ticket.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
$25 is keeping score.

??????

How so? I wouldn't even see such a charge.

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
But why is the responsibility for the "relationship" put on ONLY the daughter here? Why doesn't mom have any responsibility for putting the relationship above the small amount of money--especially since she already gave her $20.

If you want someone to do you more favors in the future--better be nicer. The money should flow only ONE way in a parent/child relationship (if it has to flow, at all).
Why is this even the mom's fault? Daughter was the one who parked illegally. Would you actually charge your mom for this? I thought you were at least slightly chivalrous. My bad for thinking such a thing.
No--but my mom would pay the ticket and it would never even be a discussion.

The money should flow only one way in such relationships. I'm both a child and a parent, so I've seen how it goes.
So because you parked like an idiot you'd charge your mom because she has more money. I understand now.
I wouldn't "charge" anyone anything.

You didn't quite answer the question. Why should your mom pay because you parked like an idiot?

huskerbb · Guru

I didn't park like an idiot. I've never had a parking ticket--ever.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I wouldn't take my mom to the doctor if she was sick. In fact, I might take her in the opposite direction. Maybe drop her off in the woods. But I wouldn't charge her gas for that.
I would help you. Just sayin.
Cool. You can hold the map upside down and pretend like you know where we're going.

I will even help her get in the car, and talk in a sweet comforting voice so she doesn't see it coming.

huskerbb · Guru

The matter was "settled" when mom gave the daughter the $20 bill and it was accepted. It isn't the daughter that wants to re-hash this.

Tinydancer · Guru

Nice deflection husker. If the situation in the letter was you you'd actually make mom pay because you parked in the wrong spot. Wait because you would never park in the wrong spot do you think the LW was right to make mom pay? Unless of course you'd like to avoid the question again...lol

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I wouldn't take my mom to the doctor if she was sick. In fact, I might take her in the opposite direction. Maybe drop her off in the woods. But I wouldn't charge her gas for that.
I would help you. Just sayin.
Cool. You can hold the map upside down and pretend like you know where we're going.
I will even help her get in the car, and talk in a sweet comforting voice so she doesn't see it coming.

She loves sweet comforting voices! Especially if you let her go on and on about herself.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Nice deflection husker. If the situation in the letter was you you'd actually make mom pay because you parked in the wrong spot. Wait because you would never park in the wrong spot do you think the LW was right to make mom pay? Unless of course you'd like to avoid the question again...lol

No, I didn't say I would "make" her pay--I said she WOULD pay.

In THIS case, the daughter didn't "make" mom give her the $20, but mom DID so--therefore settling the matter. It's mom who is bringing it up after the fact, not the daughter.

Tinydancer · Guru

Semantics husker. I would be insulted if mom had to pay for my mistake but I guess because your mom has lots of money you don't see the problem.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Semantics husker. I would be insulted if mom had to pay for my mistake but I guess because your mom has lots of money you don't see the problem.

LOL!!!! You must not be a parent.

HALF the job of a parent is paying for the mistakes of their children--or more--and given the HUGE numbers of adult children still living in their parents homes, often with their own children, it doesn't end at age 18 or 21.

Tinydancer · Guru

Well I prefer to pay for my own mistakes. If you still need mommy to pay for your mistakes then you have my sympathy.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

uhhh....didn't most just say on the other thread that adult kids living at home should contribute?

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Well I prefer to pay for my own mistakes. If you still need mommy to pay for your mistakes then you have my sympathy.

Never said that, either. Not sure where you come up with your nonsense.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 19th of March 2015 08:29:35 PM

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Semantics husker. I would be insulted if mom had to pay for my mistake but I guess because your mom has lots of money you don't see the problem.
LOL!!!! You must not be a parent.

HALF the job of a parent is paying for the mistakes of their children--or more--and given the HUGE numbers of adult children still living in their parents homes, often with their own children, it doesn't end at age 18 or 21.

Wow. Your kids must have made a lot of expensive mistakes. I would say that's about 5% of parenting. The actual job of parenting is getting your kids to suffer the consequences of their own mistakes...not bailing them out and paying for them.