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Post Info TOPIC: Meeting the ex
lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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RE: Meeting the ex
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NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Oughttabeworking wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

Would any of you hand your kid over to a stranger on the street?

No.

Yet you are saying they should sleep under the same roof with one.

Think about that.

You are divorced for a reason. Who broke the vow? Some one is no longer trust worthy in a divorce situation.

Judgement has been called into question by someone.

But let's just send a child home with them and the stranger they are sleeping with.

 Unless the court says otherwise, you have no choice. Even if the "stranger they are sleeping with" doesn't spend the night, it doesn't mean he/she will never be around the kids.

See you are missing the point.

Meeting the live in would change that.

Meet them. Talk with them. Get to know them.

That isnt controlling. That is called being an involved parent.

Ya'll seem to be confusing the issues.

 

 And what if you don't like them? 

 Not a darn thing you can do about it. I guess you could try and take the ex back to court, but without a good reason I doubt a judge would forbid the ex from bringing his friends around the kids.

 Like I said, I made the decision to become their best friend. I may not have liked them, but I wasn't going to cut my nose off to spite my face. 

You don't have to like them. But if you don't know them, you can't have anything to say about anything. 

If I make them a friend, then they are much more likely to take better care of my child. 



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Charley Harper
Nobody Just Nobody


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lilyofcourse wrote:

 And what if you don't like them? 

 Not a darn thing you can do about it. I guess you could try and take the ex back to court, but without a good reason I doubt a judge would forbid the ex from bringing his friends around the kids.

 Like I said, I made the decision to become their best friend. I may not have liked them, but I wasn't going to cut my nose off to spite my face. 

You don't have to like them. But if you don't know them, you can't have anything to say about anything. 

If I make them a friend, then they are much more likely to take better care of my child. 

 Hate to say it but Lily is right.  You don't have to be their BFF but if you can learn to get along with the ex they can become one of your biggest allies.



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NAOW


Vette's SS

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

 And what if you don't like them? 

 Not a darn thing you can do about it. I guess you could try and take the ex back to court, but without a good reason I doubt a judge would forbid the ex from bringing his friends around the kids.

 Like I said, I made the decision to become their best friend. I may not have liked them, but I wasn't going to cut my nose off to spite my face. 

You don't have to like them. But if you don't know them, you can't have anything to say about anything. 

If I make them a friend, then they are much more likely to take better care of my child. 

 Hate to say it but Lily is right.  You don't have to be their BFF but if you can learn to get along with the ex they can become one of your biggest allies.

 Yes, that is a good idea, but that's not the point I was trying to make. If they don't want to get to know you or be your friend, you are right back where you started- with a stranger spending time with your kid and nothing you can do about it. Everyone is talking like 'I would never let my kids go home with a stranger' but if you are divorced there isn't much you can do about it- your ex can bring whoever he wants around them. 



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NAOW


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And back to Vette. She is being the type of GF I think most would hope their ex would have. Someone who takes an active interest in the kid. Her BF and his ex are ok with the way things are, and that is all that matters.

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lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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NAOW wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:

 And what if you don't like them? 

 Not a darn thing you can do about it. I guess you could try and take the ex back to court, but without a good reason I doubt a judge would forbid the ex from bringing his friends around the kids.

 Like I said, I made the decision to become their best friend. I may not have liked them, but I wasn't going to cut my nose off to spite my face. 

You don't have to like them. But if you don't know them, you can't have anything to say about anything. 

If I make them a friend, then they are much more likely to take better care of my child. 

 Hate to say it but Lily is right.  You don't have to be their BFF but if you can learn to get along with the ex they can become one of your biggest allies.

 Yes, that is a good idea, but that's not the point I was trying to make. If they don't want to get to know you or be your friend, you are right back where you started- with a stranger spending time with your kid and nothing you can do about it. Everyone is talking like 'I would never let my kids go home with a stranger' but if you are divorced there isn't much you can do about it- your ex can bring whoever he wants around them. 

Even if they don't like you, you still try and you still do what you can to get to know them.

 



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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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NAOW wrote:

And back to Vette. She is being the type of GF I think most would hope their ex would have. Someone who takes an active interest in the kid. Her BF and his ex are ok with the way things are, and that is all that matters.

 I still do not think a PT confer. is the place to meet for the first time. 

And there are other things to concider. 

 



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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
I know what to do_sometimes


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Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

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Southern_Belle


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I don't think I've ever officially met my ex's wife. They started dating when DD was already close to 17 ish. We don't live in the same state and most of the halfway exchanges involved his mother. She's been to town with him when he comes to visit but always stays at the hotel when he comes to the house. I have no ill feelings toward her and would be pleasant if we met. Maybe if DD ever gets married I will meet her.

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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

 I know right? I don't start very many threads but when I do they sure cause trouble! 

 

Anyway, the conference went well and she didn't show up. Bf's son is doing well in school. 



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Honeys_Mom


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VetteGirl wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

 I know right? I don't start very many threads but when I do they sure cause trouble! 

 

Anyway, the conference went well and she didn't show up. Bf's son is doing well in school. 

 Then it's all good!! 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I remember my first conference with his ex. It was strained!

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Southern_Belle


Nothing's Impossible

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VetteGirl wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

 I know right? I don't start very many threads but when I do they sure cause trouble! 

 

Anyway, the conference went well and she didn't show up. Bf's son is doing well in school. 

 Y'all really should just get it over with and meet for coffee or something. 



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Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Southern_Belle wrote:
VetteGirl wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

 I know right? I don't start very many threads but when I do they sure cause trouble! 

 

Anyway, the conference went well and she didn't show up. Bf's son is doing well in school. 

 Y'all really should just get it over with and meet for coffee or something. 

 Yeah, pretty much!  Just meet her somewhere.



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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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One of these days

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Oughttabeworking


Regular

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VetteGirl wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Why do Vette's threads always go epic in length?

 I know right? I don't start very many threads but when I do they sure cause trouble! 

 

Anyway, the conference went well and she didn't show up. Bf's son is doing well in school. 

 Good news! Well, the doing well in school part. I'm indifferent to the showing up or not part.



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