TOTALLY GEEKED!

Tinydancer · Guru

RE: Sex, Dementia and a Husband on Trial at Age 78

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
And what I find hilarious is the same people that argue that teens should be able to have sex without parental interference are some of the same ones arguing against a grown woman having sex with her husband.
And it's the same ones who are avid supporters of gays being able to have sex in churches and whatever else--but don't want husbands and wives to have sex anywhere, apparently.
I am all for married couples doing what they want to do. But, if my mom was the Roommate, I don't think she should have to be in a room listening to her roommate having sex. That doesn't make me "against" married sex.
I think you are overly concerned about this. The roommate didn't complain - and in a nursing home, it's quite possible the roommate is deaf or out of it, too.

Baloney. The roommate should be given consideration too. And what if the roommates family is walking in with the grandkids or something. No, people should not be having sex in the middle of the day where the public is. Or, is that something you now support?

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan

Pot meet kettle...

Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
And what I find hilarious is the same people that argue that teens should be able to have sex without parental interference are some of the same ones arguing against a grown woman having sex with her husband.
And it's the same ones who are avid supporters of gays being able to have sex in churches and whatever else--but don't want husbands and wives to have sex anywhere, apparently.
I am all for married couples doing what they want to do. But, if my mom was the Roommate, I don't think she should have to be in a room listening to her roommate having sex. That doesn't make me "against" married sex.
I think you are overly concerned about this. The roommate didn't complain - and in a nursing home, it's quite possible the roommate is deaf or out of it, too.
The roommate DID hear:
That evening, her roommate reported that Mr. Rayhons drew the curtain around his wife’s bed and that sexual noises were heard.
flan

Exactly, somebody reported it. And, my mom was in the home with roommates. Should I just bring all my kids and let them run, jump and scream and do what the hell they please? No. I would consider not disturbing her roommate.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I don't understand why anyone would think this was wrong.

Me, neither.

Marital sex isn't wrong. Having marital sex wherever you please is wrong.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...

Why don't you go both some pot and then I predict you will get along just fine! biggrin

Tinydancer · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Why don't you go both some pot and then I predict you will get along just fine!

I doubt it. Even pot wouldn't mellow me enough to encourage that.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

LGS, are you in my "gang?" I'm so confused.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM

Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
LGS, are you in my "gang?" I'm so confused.

flan

Only if I get to wear leather. smile

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM
Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!
flan

If you post information about your family I can mention them. Just like you do with lily all the time. I haven't said anything bad about them (or you for that matter), all I've done is mention them. If you don't want it talked about don't put it out there.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I don't understand why anyone would think this was wrong.

Me, neither.
Marital sex isn't wrong. Having marital sex wherever you please is wrong.

But that's not the issue. If that was the issue, it would be solved with a private room or moving nursing homes.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
And what I find hilarious is the same people that argue that teens should be able to have sex without parental interference are some of the same ones arguing against a grown woman having sex with her husband.
And it's the same ones who are avid supporters of gays being able to have sex in churches and whatever else--but don't want husbands and wives to have sex anywhere, apparently.
I am all for married couples doing what they want to do. But, if my mom was the Roommate, I don't think she should have to be in a room listening to her roommate having sex. That doesn't make me "against" married sex.
I think you are overly concerned about this. The roommate didn't complain - and in a nursing home, it's quite possible the roommate is deaf or out of it, too.
Baloney. The roommate should be given consideration too. And what if the roommates family is walking in with the grandkids or something. No, people should not be having sex in the middle of the day where the public is. Or, is that something you now support?

It's not public - it's her ROOM with a curtain blocking the view. There is a difference. If it was public, she wouldn't be able to get undressed in there, either, or go to the bathroom.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
You don't know much about cognitive brain diseases. That's apparent.

The complete stimuli that comes along with intercourse can cause clarity.

All the neurons fire during sex.

It's actually good for the patient.

Then WHY did the nursing home advise him NOT to have sex with her?
flan

Because her busy body daughter put them up to it. And it was a RECOMMENDATION - not a legal order.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
And what I find hilarious is the same people that argue that teens should be able to have sex without parental interference are some of the same ones arguing against a grown woman having sex with her husband.
And it's the same ones who are avid supporters of gays being able to have sex in churches and whatever else--but don't want husbands and wives to have sex anywhere, apparently.
I am all for married couples doing what they want to do. But, if my mom was the Roommate, I don't think she should have to be in a room listening to her roommate having sex. That doesn't make me "against" married sex.
I think you are overly concerned about this. The roommate didn't complain - and in a nursing home, it's quite possible the roommate is deaf or out of it, too.
Baloney. The roommate should be given consideration too. And what if the roommates family is walking in with the grandkids or something. No, people should not be having sex in the middle of the day where the public is. Or, is that something you now support?
It's not public - it's her ROOM with a curtain blocking the view. There is a difference. If it was public, she wouldn't be able to get undressed in there, either, or go to the bathroom.

So what? Do you want people having sex in the hospitals? That's just ridiculous.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
And what I find hilarious is the same people that argue that teens should be able to have sex without parental interference are some of the same ones arguing against a grown woman having sex with her husband.
And it's the same ones who are avid supporters of gays being able to have sex in churches and whatever else--but don't want husbands and wives to have sex anywhere, apparently.
I am all for married couples doing what they want to do. But, if my mom was the Roommate, I don't think she should have to be in a room listening to her roommate having sex. That doesn't make me "against" married sex.
I think you are overly concerned about this. The roommate didn't complain - and in a nursing home, it's quite possible the roommate is deaf or out of it, too.
Baloney. The roommate should be given consideration too. And what if the roommates family is walking in with the grandkids or something. No, people should not be having sex in the middle of the day where the public is. Or, is that something you now support?
It's not public - it's her ROOM with a curtain blocking the view. There is a difference. If it was public, she wouldn't be able to get undressed in there, either, or go to the bathroom.
So what? Do you want people having sex in the hospitals? That's just ridiculous.

If that's where they LIVE, then yes.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So, no consideration should be given to the roommate? Oh ok.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So, no consideration should be given to the roommate? Oh ok.

He pulled the curtain. If you are a roommate - there are just some things you have to deal with.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So, no consideration should be given to the roommate? Oh ok.
He pulled the curtain. If you are a roommate - there are just some things you have to deal with.

No. If they want to do that, then they can get a private room.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So, no consideration should be given to the roommate? Oh ok.
He pulled the curtain. If you are a roommate - there are just some things you have to deal with.
No. If they want to do that, then they can get a private room.

No, if a roommate doesn't want to deal with it, then they can get a private room. Goes both ways.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

The roommate isn't the one causing a disturbance.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
The roommate isn't the one causing a disturbance.

The roommate actually didn't complain, either - just answered a question when asked.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

She shouldn't have to complain about that going on in the first place because it shouldn't be going on.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

That's a moral judgment on your part that has nothing to do with the legal issues presented.

cadiver · Senior Member

Lawyerlady wrote:
That's a moral judgment on your part that has nothing to do with the legal issues presented.

reading the charge it seems to make a point that they were a married couple not living together. I have a feeling the law (do not have time to look it up) has some language that takes whether or not the couple is living together into consideration.

As for getting a private room, it sounds like from other articles one of the daughters had/has medical power of attorney prior to this.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
That's a moral judgment on your part that has nothing to do with the legal issues presented.

No, I think we have laws about indecent exposure. Which is the thing he should actually be charged with if anything.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 10:21:42 AM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
That's a moral judgment on your part that has nothing to do with the legal issues presented.
No, I think we have laws about indecent exposure. Which is the thing he should actually be charged with if anything.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 10:21:42 AM

Ahh, no. He didn't expose himself, he was behind a curtain. Exposure actually requires....exposure - not just noise.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think whipping out your wonky and boinking someone in the bed is "exposing yourself". I like how he dropped his undies in the bin though. I guess they do his laundry too! LOL!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The roomate didn't SEE anything - he was behind a curtain. Hell, what if it was in a neighboring room and the walls were just thin? Is that exposure, too?

I think this is hilariously prudish.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I think whipping out your wonky and boinking someone in the bed is "exposing yourself". I like how he dropped his undies in the bin though. I guess they do his laundry too! LOL!

He didn't drop his undies. He dropped hers...which is where her dirty laundry should have been dropped...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Prudish seems to be your new favorite word, LL.

flan

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

In college we were taught to be respectful of other people and shared space, and not to have sex with our roomie in the room.
That same basic rule should apply to everyone. It is a common courtesy.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.

People shouldn't be walking into people's rooms anywhere without knocking. That's a bit different than a public restroom.

Tinydancer · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.

But that goes both ways. Those who thought it was no big deal to share a restroom with a trans are freaking out because older people are having sex. See how that works?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM
Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!
flan
If you post information about your family I can mention them. Just like you do with lily all the time. I haven't said anything bad about them (or you for that matter), all I've done is mention them. If you don't want it talked about don't put it out there.

Where do I even start?

I mention Lily's family "all the time?" I mentioned her son once because it seemed relevant to ed's sandwich thread.

I "put it out there" because I trust MOST posters here. And you did say something incredibly nasty about me in a PM.

And... this is supposed to be a compliment?

Good luck with those stepkids once they decide you're not doing right by their father.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM
Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!
flan
If you post information about your family I can mention them. Just like you do with lily all the time. I haven't said anything bad about them (or you for that matter), all I've done is mention them. If you don't want it talked about don't put it out there.
Where do I even start?
I mention Lily's family "all the time?" I mentioned her son once because it seemed relevant to ed's sandwich thread.
I "put it out there" because I trust MOST posters here. And you did say something incredibly nasty about me in a PM.
And... this is supposed to be a compliment?
Good luck with those stepkids once they decide you're not doing right by their father.
flan

No you've mentioned lily's son whenever it suits your purpose. I replied in kind to the nasty pm you KEPT sending to me. As for the underlined I was asking if you would like it IF they changed their minds so it was relevant to the discussion.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.
People shouldn't be walking into people's rooms anywhere without knocking. That's a bit different than a public restroom.

Of course not, but in the nursing home my grandma was in, the door was always slightly open.

And it is still disrespectful to have sex with the roomate in the room to begin with, no matter what way you slice it. I never want to be in the position of being stuck in a room with other people having sex, nursing home or not.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

Tinydancer wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.
But that goes both ways. Those who thought it was no big deal to share a restroom with a trans are freaking out because older people are having sex. See how that works?

Excepts, of course, no one here is freaking out.

I have said that if the woman in the OP seems cheerful and relaxed about the situation, move her to a private room and let them be.

I have only said that the situation should be monitored enough to ensure that she is not being taken advantage of or abused, ie, seems distressed or confused.

As long as there seems to be no additional mental or physical anguish resulting from the sex, leave them alone.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM
Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!
flan
If you post information about your family I can mention them. Just like you do with lily all the time. I haven't said anything bad about them (or you for that matter), all I've done is mention them. If you don't want it talked about don't put it out there.
Where do I even start?
I mention Lily's family "all the time?" I mentioned her son once because it seemed relevant to ed's sandwich thread.
I "put it out there" because I trust MOST posters here. And you did say something incredibly nasty about me in a PM.
And... this is supposed to be a compliment?
Good luck with those stepkids once they decide you're not doing right by their father.
flan
No you've mentioned lily's son whenever it suits your purpose. I replied in kind to the nasty pm you KEPT sending to me. As for the underlined I was asking if you would like it IF they changed their minds so it was relevant to the discussion.

Well, apparently you are keeping a log of my transgressions. I have great respect for the strides Lily's son has made.

The "nasty" PM I sent? LOL

Read what you wrote: not IF but ONCE.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.
But that goes both ways. Those who thought it was no big deal to share a restroom with a trans are freaking out because older people are having sex. See how that works?
Excepts, of course, no one here is freaking out.
I have said that if the woman in the OP seems cheerful and relaxed about the situation, move her to a private room and let them be.
I have only said that the situation should be monitored enough to ensure that she is not being taken advantage of or abused, ie, seems distressed or confused.
As long as there seems to be no additional mental or physical anguish resulting from the sex, leave them alone.

I don't remember everyone who opposed trans in the bath thinking their kids would be scarred for life either.

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How's that ignoring me working out for you?

You CANNOT resist a personal dig...

flan
Pot meet kettle...
Besides I told you I was done ignoring. I'll point out your hypocrisy when I see it as long as you and your gang continue, so will I.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 15th of April 2015 08:27:07 AM
Tell me more about your family so I can bring them up...pot!
flan
If you post information about your family I can mention them. Just like you do with lily all the time. I haven't said anything bad about them (or you for that matter), all I've done is mention them. If you don't want it talked about don't put it out there.
Where do I even start?
I mention Lily's family "all the time?" I mentioned her son once because it seemed relevant to ed's sandwich thread.
I "put it out there" because I trust MOST posters here. And you did say something incredibly nasty about me in a PM.
And... this is supposed to be a compliment?
Good luck with those stepkids once they decide you're not doing right by their father.
flan
No you've mentioned lily's son whenever it suits your purpose. I replied in kind to the nasty pm you KEPT sending to me. As for the underlined I was asking if you would like it IF they changed their minds so it was relevant to the discussion.
Well, apparently you are keeping a log of my transgressions. I have great respect for the strides Lily's son has made.
The "nasty" PM I sent? LOL
Read what you wrote: not IF but ONCE.
flan

Yes I am keeping track of you and your transgressions. When you start a fight you'd better be ready for the response. Pretending you weren't trying to piss me off with the pm's is what's funny. Now you've got me pissed off. You should be happy you got what you wanted.

Tinydancer · Guru

We'll see if it "once" or "if". Stepkids don't like it when you put their parent in a nursing home. This thread proves that.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
We'll see if it "once" or "if". Stepkids don't like it when you put their parent in a nursing home. This thread proves that.

This is ONE instance. It proves nothing.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

I've seen it many times but good luck anyway.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I find this whole debate amusing, especially since the people so adamantly insisting they wouldn't mind walking in with their family to visit grandma to find her roomate going at it are the same people that thought their children would be scarred for life if trans people were able to use a public restroom.

Married between a married man and woman is actually sanctified By God. Meaning God is all for it.

A man trying to become a woman is not. A man using a woman's bathroom or lockerroom is not.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
You don't know much about cognitive brain diseases. That's apparent.

The complete stimuli that comes along with intercourse can cause clarity.

All the neurons fire during sex.

It's actually good for the patient.

Then WHY did the nursing home advise him NOT to have sex with her?
flan
Because her busy body daughter put them up to it. And it was a RECOMMENDATION - not a legal order.

They didn't advise that at all until after the daughter got involved.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
It's my opinion.

flan

Which is wrong.

burns07 · Guru

honestly wonder what some here are thinking--and also the staff at the facility--here are two people that are married, that love one another, that are near the end of their lives together--that want to stay connected to each other, be intimate with each other, feel that they're still alive--gosh damn, what about them and what they feel ?

am not the most articulate person around here for sure and there are times when I can't say in words what I'm feeling but I can touch her and she knows what's in my heart, knows what I'm feeling, knows that we're here and alive and we love each other

making love is like that, isn't it ? makes you feel alive, feel connected, feel present in this world

believe THAT is what he's doing with his wife and also believe that she can still feel that ( regardless of her mental state )