TOTALLY GEEKED!

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Why are we women our own worst enemy?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Nope. Women cant get along. I prefer working with men.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Men can't get along either! Lol

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I want my friends to be honest. That's hard for some women to do...no games, no drama, etc.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I can't stand gossipy women.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I can't stand gossipy women.

Jealous, back-stabbing women too!

flan

Vette · Owl drink to that!

I get that, but if you don't even know someone why would you assume they would be that way? Which is the wall I keep running into.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Vette, some people don't really want to KNOW any more people. They are very self satisfied or feel they are too busy to bother or whatever. There people who have no desire to make new friends or get to know other people.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

You don't have to "get to know" someone in order to be polite and get along in the workplace. No sense in completely shunning someone that you have to be around all day just because they are a certain gender.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

VetteGirl wrote:
You don't have to "get to know" someone in order to be polite and get along in the workplace. No sense in completely shunning someone that you have to be around all day just because they are a certain gender.

Yeah, I got nothing...

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

VetteGirl wrote:
You don't have to "get to know" someone in order to be polite and get along in the workplace. No sense in completely shunning someone that you have to be around all day just because they are a certain gender.

Well, you don't think like they do and neither do I. Just giving you some of my observations after years of working. Most people are self absorbed and totally focused on themselves and their own stuff. So, they just don't want to be bothered at all.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

My office is all women. Four of us. We get along great. We don't socialize outside of work but when here we are harmonious & truly like each other. I guess I should be grateful that I have always gotten along with my coworkers.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

Lol you're cute :)

@ flan haha

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Thursday 16th of April 2015 01:44:22 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I mean, I am not saying it is right or I agree, it just is.

Divine Geek · Guru

Flame away: but I think it's a confidence issue

I was kinda like that when I was younger, I didn't really get along with other female workers as well as I got along with the men. However, in my current job, I get along great with most of my coworkers - regardless of gender. I do really believe this is a fiction of my being more confident in my role and in my own skin. Almost all of the woman here are over 30, and there is a lot less of the drama. We still have some, from a couple people, but much less. And for the most part, the rest of us just wish those couple would grow up and act their age.

I guess what I'm saying Vette, is just hold out. It gets better

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

VetteGirl wrote:
Maybe I just have bad luck. But it seems like all the women I'm around want nothing to do with each other. In my workplace there are hardly any women, and what little there are do nothing but bully and trash talk one another. It's really sad!
There was one time I introduced myself to a girl in a different hanger, and the first thing she said to me was "I don't make friends with girls."
I just don't get it. You would think working in a male dominated work place would make the women want to band together :p
Anyway, no question, just thought it might make interesting discussion to get some perspective.

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Thursday 16th of April 2015 12:22:14 PM

Well, to be fair, you are working in a male-dominated professional that likely appeals to women who are not girly (you excluded, of course), so I wouldn't take your female co-workers rejection to heart.

But many women only see other women as competition.

I love women. I work with them, hang out with them, and bond with them. But, I'm also pretty practical about the difficulty sometimes of too many women in one place.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't really care either way. I go to work to do my job. If there are people who want to be friendly, then I am friendly with them too. If not, I really don't care.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I will interact with people to the extent that they interact with me. If I try and they can't be bothered, then no ,I am not going to bother either. Don't waste your time engaging those who don't want to be engaged.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't really care either way. I go to work to do my job. If there are people who want to be friendly, then I am friendly with them too. If not, I really don't care.

This is how I am and also...what you said about not wanting any more friends hits home too. I have a very very few people who I consider my friends. That's all I can handle and it's all I want. I get great joy from spending time with my family and choose to be with them over friends any day of the week. I just am not the kind of person who needs or wants a bunch of friends. That said - I am always nice and polite to the people I work with. But they are just work associates, not friends. What the other person said in the OP may have been her blunt way of expressing that.

FNW · Guru

I'm with Gaga and Mellow Momma.

Ohfour · Hooker

Not me. We have a TON of friends. Close friends. Many of them are co-workers. At least twice a week, we dine with others at their house and at least twice a week, we host.

We actually have friends coming tonight from Canada. They are staying with us until Monday...

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Ohfour wrote:
Not me. We have a TON of friends. Close friends. Many of them are co-workers. At least twice a week, we dine with others at their house and at least twice a week, we host.

We actually have friends coming tonight from Canada. They are staying with us until Monday...

I am so happy that this makes you happy. But to me, it sounds like a living nightmare. Extrovert vs. introvert I am guessing.

Ohfour · Hooker

Mellow Momma wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Not me. We have a TON of friends. Close friends. Many of them are co-workers. At least twice a week, we dine with others at their house and at least twice a week, we host.

We actually have friends coming tonight from Canada. They are staying with us until Monday...
I am so happy that this makes you happy. But to me, it sounds like a living nightmare. Extrovert vs. introvert I am guessing.

LOL! Probably so.

True story...

Soon after we bought our house, we had to have some work done. G took off early to meet the guy. I got home 2 hours later and they were sitting at the kitchen table drinking beer. It took him about 15 minutes to fix what needed to be fixed, G offered him a beer, and there they sat when I got home...

Oh, and I've never met the couple that will be spending 4 nights at my house... hmm

burns07 · Guru

well, working with women and managing them are two completely different ballgames--have done both and have rarely ever had any friction--in the workplace, treat women as colleagues / teammates, everyone is there to work and to succeed--one distinct difference have noticed is their need for praise ( meaning women )--in my experience, people that are good at what they do and have a solid work ethic typically don't care for or need praise ( they validate themselves through their results )--in our industry, staff at any given dealership will be predominantly men with a few women on staff in either administrative / HR / or sales/management positions--throughout my career have emphasized to my employees that whatever happens, we are going to respect one another--don't care if you work in the car wash or you're running the store--what you do is important--to all of us--like I said earlier, have rarely had any issues along the men / women workforce issue but have always been extremely careful to do two things ( and especially with women employees ): when I have to criticize do it kindly and impersonally and when I have the privilege of praising, do it sincerely and in the presence of other employees--women seem to truly appreciate this approach

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Insecurities.

That's my answer to why we are our own worse enemies. We tend to project our own failings and short comings on others.

Kind of the same reason we cry at happy events.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Insecurities.

That's my answer to why we are our own worse enemies. We tend to project our own failings and short comings on others.

Kind of the same reason we cry at happy events.

I disagree. Some women are just bee itches.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
Not me. We have a TON of friends. Close friends. Many of them are co-workers. At least twice a week, we dine with others at their house and at least twice a week, we host.

We actually have friends coming tonight from Canada. They are staying with us until Monday...

Ugh. Sound exhausting. evileye

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Insecurities.

That's my answer to why we are our own worse enemies. We tend to project our own failings and short comings on others.

Kind of the same reason we cry at happy events.

I disagree. Some women are just bee itches.

Yeah, jealous haters.

And I don't understand why crying at a happy event means you're insecure?

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Insecurities.

That's my answer to why we are our own worse enemies. We tend to project our own failings and short comings on others.

Kind of the same reason we cry at happy events.

I disagree. Some women are just bee itches.
Yeah, jealous haters.
And I don't understand why crying at a happy event means you're insecure?
flan

Yeah, that seemed pretty random to me. What does that have to do with anything? hmm

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

When I was younger, if I didn't get along with some of these beyotches, I used to think "oh it must be me". Well, you know what ? It ain't me, it's them! They are just boitches of the 1st degree!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
When I was younger, if I didn't get along with some of these beyotches, I used to think "oh it must be me". Well, you know what ? It ain't me, it's them! They are just boitches of the 1st degree!

~whispers~

It really IS you!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
When I was younger, if I didn't get along with some of these beyotches, I used to think "oh it must be me". Well, you know what ? It ain't me, it's them! They are just boitches of the 1st degree!
~whispers~
It really IS you!
flan

I still don't care! I would much rather you dislike me for who I am , then like me for who I am not. biggrin

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
When I was younger, if I didn't get along with some of these beyotches, I used to think "oh it must be me". Well, you know what ? It ain't me, it's them! They are just boitches of the 1st degree!
~whispers~
It really IS you!
flan
I still don't care! I would much rather you dislike me for who I am , then like me for who I am not.

That's really true!

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

That is really true. You can dislike me all you want because of who I am, but don't dislike me because of false crap.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
That is really true. You can dislike me all you want because of who I am, but don't dislike me because of false crap.

Good point.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Insecurities.

That's my answer to why we are our own worse enemies. We tend to project our own failings and short comings on others.

Kind of the same reason we cry at happy events.

I disagree. Some women are just bee itches.
Yeah, jealous haters.
And I don't understand why crying at a happy event means you're insecure?
flan
Yeah, that seemed pretty random to me. What does that have to do with anything?

I have the crappy laptop today so responding takes a while. I am not a patient person.

I am responding to both of you.

Hating and jealousy is from feeling another has something you lack.

Why are some women b-words? Because they are lacking something. They are over compensating for something they feel they don't have or need to hide.

Crying at happy events has the same underlying reasoning. We are happy for them but sad because we don't have something we think they have.

It's all in our own heads.

And we over compensate and hide behind these walls.

Basic high school Phycology.

Now the we is general. So if anyone wants to take it personally, well maybe ask yourself why.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

You are wrong about the crying at happy events. Rhat doesn't even make sense.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Seriously does that make sense to anybody,? I have taken college psych courses. Never heard that explanation.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I think women who are beitches are just nasty people. It's that simple.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

No. Not wrong. Basic human emotion.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I think women who are beitches are just nasty people. It's that simple.

It's the same as bullies. Why do bullies, bully?

Why are B-words, B-words?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

The emotion isn't wrong. Your interpretation is odd.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So you well up in tears over a moment where your kid does something well or something you are proud of and you are crying why?

burns07 · Guru

well, consider myself fortunate--have worked / had work for me very few women would consider intractable--au contraire, have had the opportunity to work with many who were extremely competent, capable and great to have for colleagues--respected their ability and their focus--at very least, the equal of many men have known in the same position / capacity

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Seriously does that make sense to anybody,? I have taken college psych courses. Never heard that explanation.

No, frankly, not to me.

If a friend of mine gets married, and I'm happily married, I might tear up.

Because I am HAPPY.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So you well up in tears over a moment where your kid does something well or something you are proud of and you are crying why?

No. A kid does something well is not an event. A noteworthy moment but not an event.

An event. Wedding, new baby. That kind of thing.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So you well up in tears over a moment where your kid does something well or something you are proud of and you are crying why?
No. A kid does something well is not an event. A noteworthy moment but not an event.
An event. Wedding, new baby. That kind of thing.

I already answered that.

flan

burns07 · Guru

no shame or weakness in tears

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I am talking about tears Lilly. Hello. Things that bring us to tears that are happy.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I am not saying there is weakness or shame involved.

And I didn't say every single time.

I don't know why it's hard to understand.

Oh well.