Well, I get that it is better to say that, then Oh, look at that dead corpse. But, Oh he looks GOOD, just seems weird. I mean, yeah, you want to say something but why that?
I personally think it is helpful for grieving. I think it was helpful to see my mom and dad in the viewing. It really drives home the finality of it. And, just because I viewed them doesn't mean that is how I remember them. That might be my "last memory" but so what? It was the end of their lives. That isn't what I recall when I think of them. I think of all the wonderful times and warm embraces. So, I don't think viewing the body somehow erases those memories.
Well, I get that it is better to say that, then Oh, look at that dead corpse. But, Oh he looks GOOD, just seems weird. I mean, yeah, you want to say something but why that?
My mom was sick for many years and she did look bad. When she died they fixed her up beautiful. She looked like she did before she got sick. I have seen some who did not look like themselves but my mom looked pretty.
I personally think it is helpful for grieving. I think it was helpful to see my mom and dad in the viewing. It really drives home the finality of it. And, just because I viewed them doesn't mean that is how I remember them. That might be my "last memory" but so what? It was the end of their lives. That isn't what I recall when I think of them. I think of all the wonderful times and warm embraces. So, I don't think viewing the body somehow erases those memories.
I get what you're saying, LGS.
The last viewing I went to was a lady that I had worked with when I first started working with children. She was such a kind soul. I had not seen her for years & chose to remember her the way she had been.
My grandpa looked like he had just fallen asleep in his chair. Better, really, since he was wearing a suit and his face didn't have tobacco all over like usual.
It freaked me out, I kept waiting for him to sit up and say it was all a joke. He was a huge prankster.
I'm really glad I haven't had to attend any other open casket funerals. It felt more traumatic to me than ones where there was a closed casket or cremation.
My grandpa looked like he had just fallen asleep in his chair. Better, really, since he was wearing a suit and his face didn't have tobacco all over like usual.
It freaked me out, I kept waiting for him to sit up and say it was all a joke. He was a huge prankster. I'm really glad I haven't had to attend any other open casket funerals. It felt more traumatic to me than ones where there was a closed casket or cremation.
Well, I get that it is better to say that, then Oh, look at that dead corpse. But, Oh he looks GOOD, just seems weird. I mean, yeah, you want to say something but why that?
My mom was sick for many years and she did look bad. When she died they fixed her up beautiful. She looked like she did before she got sick. I have seen some who did not look like themselves but my mom looked pretty.
This
my grandparents had been very sick before they died. They looked like hell. But at the viewing, they looked so good, so normal, so peaceful. My grandma had her hair all done like I always remembered. It was actually a nice last sight. And I'm happy for that, those last few weeks, they weren't themselves. But then, in that moment, they were again.
Well, I get that it is better to say that, then Oh, look at that dead corpse. But, Oh he looks GOOD, just seems weird. I mean, yeah, you want to say something but why that?
My mom was sick for many years and she did look bad. When she died they fixed her up beautiful. She looked like she did before she got sick. I have seen some who did not look like themselves but my mom looked pretty.
This
my grandparents had been very sick before they died. They looked like hell. But at the viewing, they looked so good, so normal, so peaceful. My grandma had her hair all done like I always remembered. It was actually a nice last sight. And I'm happy for that, those last few weeks, they weren't themselves. But then, in that moment, they were again.
My mom looked like she was sleeping and had a little smile. She looked at peace. I do know this isn't true for everyone. My aunt looked horrible.
My sister's FIL looked pretty bad. He was always a hefty man, but after a year+ of cancer, well, there wasn't any way to make him look like the person we knew before the cancer.
I've seen some that looked very natural and other that looked almost ghoulish.
I could not got to the casket at the funeral for my friends baby. I could see it across the room and that was more than enough. I couldn't deal with that.
My former MIL looked like skin pulled too tightly over a skeleton. She might have weighed 70 pounds. If that.
My cousin, the one the car rolled over, was damaged so badly they could only open the casket for an hour. The reconstruction it took was extensive and they didn't want to risk it breaking down. They also put a veil over the casket to help skew the view. You could still see the damage.
Pawpaw looked at peace. He had been in so much pain. It was good to see him not knotted up in pain. He was relaxed, at ease. Even had a bit of a little smirk on his face. He also went so quickly, I was having a really hard time accepting it and it helped.
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Why do people say 'He looks good" when someone is dead? I don't get it.
Why? Because people say plenty of awkward, foot-in-mouth things at viewings. This is just one of them.
Especially people who don't know what to say, or are inexperienced wake-attenders. They're so nervous about not knowing what to say that they say something unfortunate like this, just to fill the space.
Heck, it's better than saying something really stupid. I've heard much worse. Like asking a bereaved family member how the deceased died. And it turns out it was a suicide.
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I've said they look good. I meant it. One was my step dad. He finally looked at peace. The next time was DH's grandmother, she had a slow moving battle, but they had her all fixed up in a way we hadn't seen in a while and she looked beautiful.
