Again, So?????? Why does that matter? This is not about comparing blame - this is about what SHE did.
The Blame fall squarely on him.
It takes TWO. This was her BEST FRIEND - are you kidding me?????
It doesn't take Two. The lifelong commitment was from him and him alone. It only takes one. HE transgressed. Who cares about the friend? She can go pound salt. Obviously she wasn't a friend.
Yes, it does. Masturbation is not cheating.
But regardless - holding her accountable for HER actions does not have anything to do with how you hold him accountable for HIS actions.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well, Gaga - if your husband ever sleeps with your best friend, you are more than welcome to continue staying friends with her. You would be nuts - but it's your call.
Where did I say that? Now you are being ridiculous. Yes, I would tell her to Go to Hell. But, I would feel more anger and betrayal at him.
But you are acting as if you can't be both - that you can't hold her accountable because you forgave the husband because he's the husband.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
She isn't "accountable" to her. She can do what she wants to do. Your response is tell her to go to Hell, that's it. The person who is accountable to you is your spouse.
She isn't "accountable" to her. She can do what she wants to do. Your response is tell her to go to Hell, that's it. The person who is accountable to you is your spouse.
Bull****. If my FRIEND sleeps with my husband, she most certainly IS accountable to me - and will not be my friend anymore under any circumstance.
On the one hand you are saying that the friend is not accountable because she didn't take the vows - but on the other you are tying the betrayals and responses together - that if she forgives the husband, she should forgive the friend. But vows go two ways - for better and for worse, which is why TRYING with the husband is more important. But the friend was aware of the vows all around and helped the husband ignore his.
And who she is madder at is really her business. She doesn't have to forgive the friend because she chose to forgive the husband. You don't even know how they have handled it and apologized - he may have groveled and begged and been truly repentant, while the friend is simply trying to continue to insert herself in their family.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
No your friend doesn't "owe" you anything. If she is that kind of person, then you simply tell her to buzz off. End of friendship. And, I said like 10x, don't take the money.