TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Stingy Mom

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Um, I am sorry but why does Mom have to "change"? That isn't the job of this twenty something ADULT. Mom's finances should have nothing to do with you at this point. If she is stingy eating out, then get separate checks. Sheesh. And, mom's finances are mom's to worry about and not yours nor her approach to life.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

If it bothers her that much - stop going out to eat with her in groups. If these grown women she is dining with aren't bothered enough to speak up- then leave it alone.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Sounds as though Mom is ripping others off. I would leave it alone if the others don't say anything and continue to include mom in the outings. However, if Mom is losing friends, then the LW should speak to her privately.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.

Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I prefer to get separate checks. For one, I want to order and eat whatever I want. If I want to get appetizers and a filet mignon and cheesecake and coffee, I want to order what I want to order.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol

What I don't understand is why waitstaff get all bothered when separate checks are requested. Not all are, but many that I've noticed. Separate checks should be the default.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Who knows? I think it is just laziness and easier for them so they don't have to keep track. But, honestly, I think they would get a larger tip across the board on multiple separate checks.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lots of places won't do separate checks if you are in a group. Sometimes it's printed right on the menu that it will be one check if you have so many people in your party. Nicer places don't care as much but places like Applebee's tend to get really upset when you ask for separate checks. We have had places try and refuse us.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lots of places won't do separate checks if you are in a group. Sometimes it's printed right on the menu that it will be one check if you have so many people in your party. Nicer places don't care as much but places like Applebee's tend to get really upset when you ask for separate checks. We have had places try and refuse us.

Yes. And, we have gotten up and walked out of restaurants that do. If they don't want my money, then fine with me. Lots of other choices.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lots of places won't do separate checks if you are in a group. Sometimes it's printed right on the menu that it will be one check if you have so many people in your party. Nicer places don't care as much but places like Applebee's tend to get really upset when you ask for separate checks. We have had places try and refuse us.

I've never had a problem getting separate checks anywhere. And I personally know that Applebees computer system is very easy to do separate checks - if you tell them up front.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

If you look at most checks they are already divided by order.

The reason for doing the group check is the automatic gratuity they like to apply. I don't like that.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Separate checks is so much easier now. I hardly ever carry cash.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Southern_Belle wrote:
Separate checks is so much easier now. I hardly ever carry cash.

Neither do I.

We have had restsurants get really nasty about giving us separate checks. We usually don't go back if they make it a big deal. It probably depends on the server. Some just throw a whole attitude about it - rolling eyes, huffing, etc. Of course then my tip reflects that attitude, and I usually don't go back.

chef · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol
What I don't understand is why waitstaff get all bothered when separate checks are requested. Not all are, but many that I've noticed. Separate checks should be the default.

From what I understand, it's because the added time spent ringing through multiple cards can cause the server to get weeded. Also, sometimes not everyone will tip on their own bill because they think their tip will be covered by other members of their party.

ed11563 · Guru

Just my own observation,

the ones who ridicule the people at their table who want separate checks,

are always the ones with the most expensive meal and drinks.

They just want to get over on their "friends".

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Exactly!

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

chef wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol
What I don't understand is why waitstaff get all bothered when separate checks are requested. Not all are, but many that I've noticed. Separate checks should be the default.
From what I understand, it's because the added time spent ringing through multiple cards can cause the server to get weeded. Also, sometimes not everyone will tip on their own bill because they think their tip will be covered by other members of their party.

I've also heard from a former waitress that when the party orders additional rounds of drinks that is when it gets tricky putting the right drinks with the right check.

Divine Geek · Guru

I was pretty impressed with a local place on the splitting the check issue. I was out with two friends and one ordered an appetizer. The waitress split the appetizer on the three checks so we could all pay for it. I thought that was great.

I've never had any hassle with getting separate checks. But then, I think the biggest group I go out in is 4.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lexxy wrote:
chef wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol
What I don't understand is why waitstaff get all bothered when separate checks are requested. Not all are, but many that I've noticed. Separate checks should be the default.
From what I understand, it's because the added time spent ringing through multiple cards can cause the server to get weeded. Also, sometimes not everyone will tip on their own bill because they think their tip will be covered by other members of their party.
I've also heard from a former waitress that when the party orders additional rounds of drinks that is when it gets tricky putting the right drinks with the right check.

That should only ever be an issue if people are changing chairs.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lexxy wrote:
chef wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol
What I don't understand is why waitstaff get all bothered when separate checks are requested. Not all are, but many that I've noticed. Separate checks should be the default.
From what I understand, it's because the added time spent ringing through multiple cards can cause the server to get weeded. Also, sometimes not everyone will tip on their own bill because they think their tip will be covered by other members of their party.
I've also heard from a former waitress that when the party orders additional rounds of drinks that is when it gets tricky putting the right drinks with the right check.

Yes. That may be. And, that is about developing skill at your job.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Most of the places myvwork buddies and I frequent for happy hou automatically do seperate checks....and ask whos bill to put whatever appetizer on. I never have an issue.

Ohfour · Hooker

Mary Zombie wrote:
Most of the places myvwork buddies and I frequent for happy hou automatically do seperate checks....and ask whos bill to put whatever appetizer on. I never have an issue.

Yep...we take turns picking up the appetizer. Its never been an issue.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Put me down for some wings!

Mary Zombie · Guru

Wings......extra bleu cheese?

Ohfour · Hooker

Extra extra!!!!!

Mary Zombie · Guru

Chunky mmmmmmmm.......

WYSIWYG · Guru

Not counting Japanese Steakhouses, where there might be several parties at one table that aren't related in any way, I don't think I've ever split a check with anyone.

I've alternated days picking up the checks with friends or coworkers, but I think that's the closest I've ever gotten to divvying up payment .

huskerbb · Guru

Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

So if the bill is $100 and I got a $15 salad and water I should put in $30? Nope. Not happening. This is why people request separate checks.

huskerbb · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

So if the bill is $100 and I got a $15 salad and water I should put in $30? Nope. Not happening. This is why people request separate checks.

And that's a huge pain in the ass. Some things are not worth worrying about. $15 is one of those things.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

it's MY $15 and I get to decide if it's important or not. I don't like paying for the meals of others when I go out. I have no problem whatsoever paying my tab, and I don't expect you to pay for my meal. I expect the same courtesy.

There are several scenarios that would make someone cautious about how much money they are spending. Paying only for what one orders is not unreasonable. If I order $15 worth of food you can be damn sure I am only paying for what I order plus tip.

huskerbb · Guru

That's silly--and a pain in the ass. Part of the reason that guys normally get better service. Waitstaff hate to see a group of women come in.

They always have to get crap on the side. They are 10x more likely to ask for substitutions. They always have to have separate checks--and the difference is NEVER $15 like in your ridiculous example. It's usually a dollar or two at the MOST.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
That's silly--and a pain in the ass. Part of the reason that guys normally get better service. Waitstaff hate to see a group of women come in.

They always have to get crap on the side. They are 10x more likely to ask for substitutions. They always have to have separate checks--and the difference is NEVER $15 like in your ridiculous example. It's usually a dollar or two at the MOST.

You don't get to decide for them. And, if the wait staff is soooo bothered, perhaps they need to find other jobs that dont' involve making customers happy.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

So if the bill is $100 and I got a $15 salad and water I should put in $30? Nope. Not happening. This is why people request separate checks.
And that's a huge pain in the ass. Some things are not worth worrying about. $15 is one of those things.

Again, you don't get to decide that for someone else. Soooo, not sure why YOU are being so defensive about it. Unless, you are the one who consistently runs up the alcohol tab and stiffs the others. hmm

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

It isn't the job of the patrons to worry about what servers "hate". Maybe they hate refilling water glasses or coffee. Maybe they hate getting you steak sauce for your steak. Wah, wah, wah.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

Too bad - it's part of the job. And AGAIN - with today's computer systems in restaurants, they are very EASY.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

So if the bill is $100 and I got a $15 salad and water I should put in $30? Nope. Not happening. This is why people request separate checks.
And that's a huge pain in the ass. Some things are not worth worrying about. $15 is one of those things.
Again, you don't get to decide that for someone else. Soooo, not sure why YOU are being so defensive about it. Unless, you are the one who consistently runs up the alcohol tab and stiffs the others.

I'm normally the one paying. A few dollars is just not that big of a deal.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

It isn't the job of the patrons to worry about what servers "hate". Maybe they hate refilling water glasses or coffee. Maybe they hate getting you steak sauce for your steak. Wah, wah, wah.

Until you get the spit salad dressing.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

Too bad - it's part of the job. And AGAIN - with today's computer systems in restaurants, they are very EASY.

I was a waitress 10 years ago. Splitting checks was easy then.

TrudyML · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
This whole type of thing confuses me. Whenever we go as groups of women, the servers just ask if we want separate checks, and we say yes. With the ease of computers, I don't get having to get one check and split it up.
Well, I have said that many times on other boards. And, then I was resoundly RIPPED for saying "just get separate checks', like it is the INSULT of INSULTS or something. Well, the reason I do is because DH and I got invited out to dinner when I was in college. And, the people we were with ran up a HUGE drinking bill. DH and I didn't drink. So, we got stuck with a whopping bill when money was tight. But, now, getting separate checks is usually easy because I often have one or more of my kids in tow and ain't nobody wanna subsidize teenagers! lol

Wow, that is crappy! You should never have to pay while someone else is running up a drinking tab.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

NAOW wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Separate checks are a pain in the ass. Servers hate them.

It's just not that big of a deal. Bill is $100 for four? Everyone throw in $30 and be done with it.

As far as mom goes here--that's embarrassing. Finances may not be the daughter's concern, but her bizarre behavior is, especially now that finances are no longer a concern. It's hurting her relationships with others--and that's a problem.

Too bad - it's part of the job. And AGAIN - with today's computer systems in restaurants, they are very EASY.
I was a waitress 10 years ago. Splitting checks was easy then.

I know. I was a waitress 15 years ago and it was easy then.

Tinydancer · Guru

I'm not sure why husker thinks waitresses and waiters hate separate checks. I loved them when I waitressed my way through school. More checks equals more tips. At least that's how it worked for me.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Tinydancer wrote:
I'm not sure why husker thinks waitresses and waiters hate separate checks. I loved them when I waitressed my way through school. More checks equals more tips. At least that's how it worked for me.

It might be a regional thing. Servers around here typically give an attitude about separate checks. Eye rolling, exasperated sighs, etc. In the nicer restaurants, it's typically no big deal. But in the Chili's and Applebee's of the world it's like asking for an organ donation.

Tinydancer · Guru

I can tell you if they're rolling their eyes and giving exasperated sighs they would get a much smaller tip from me. As a waitress that's your job. If you don't like it find another job, don't expect the world to change for you.

Ohfour · Hooker

I can't remember the last time that I went to a restaurant with other people (besides G) and the waiter didn't say, "Would you like this on separate checks?"

It's just assumed here. I never have to ask, it's just done...

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Tinydancer wrote:
I can tell you if they're rolling their eyes and giving exasperated sighs they would get a much smaller tip from me. As a waitress that's your job. If you don't like it find another job, don't expect the world to change for you.

I agree 100%. And they usually do find a smaller tip. I am sure it's a self fullfilling prophecy for them. They don't like separate checks because they think they will get smaller tips and so they fuss and DO end up with smaller tips.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Ohfour wrote:
I can't remember the last time that I went to a restaurant with other people (besides G) and the waiter didn't say, "Would you like this on separate checks?"

It's just assumed here. I never have to ask, it's just done...

Yep, around here the only time I don't get asked is when DH and I are out to dinner. Sometimes even then. It's pretty typical for them to ask.

Divine Geek · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
I can't remember the last time that I went to a restaurant with other people (besides G) and the waiter didn't say, "Would you like this on separate checks?"

It's just assumed here. I never have to ask, it's just done...

Almost every time my mom and I are out to dinner, they ask if it's 2 checks. They ask when I'm with both my parents too.