DEAR AMY: I am a professional in an office that has two administrative assistants, "Mary" and "Sue." Mary has decided that she has it in for Sue. Mary is constantly monitoring everything Sue does, especially what time Sue comes in and what time she leaves. This monitoring has gone so far that even on days when Mary is out she will text other employees to ask what time Sue came and went. Now Mary has taken it upon herself to talk to their supervisor, tattling about days when Sue has left early. Sue has no idea how much Mary has it in for her and how far she is going. My dilemma is this: Should I tell Sue what I know? Specifically, that Mary is talking to Sue's supervisor? Or, should I just let the supervisor handle it?
DEAR PERPLEXED: You should let "Sue" know that "Mary" monitors her whereabouts. Tell her, "I think you should know that Mary has been double-checking what time you come and go at work. I'm just giving you a heads-up." Otherwise, I don't think it's wise to report to Sue on any possible conversations Mary is having with the supervisor. Your doing so would amount to you monitoring Mary's activities -- and reporting them second hand. Sue is responsible for what, if anything, she wants to do about the information you provide to her.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
Yes, good advice and well said. As far as those kinds of coworkers, they hang themselves. In time Mary is going to make such a pest of herself that she will be fired.
Yes, good advice and well said. As far as those kinds of coworkers, they hang themselves. In time Mary is going to make such a pest of herself that she will be fired.
I've been the "Sue" here. And another co-worker warned me what "Mary" was up to. We had a good laugh because I wasnt doing anything wrong and I did my job well. "Mary" just made herself look petty and silly.
Now, if Sue (from the letter) is coming in late, leaving early and not getting her work done, Mary could be an issue. But if that's the case, Sue really brought it on herself
Sue would be able to blame her leaving early on Mary creating a hostile work environment and she would have a decent case.
Mary is horrid. Sue should not leave early or come in late. But I can see Sue having to work up the courage to enter the office for the day because she knows she will have to deal with Mary's insanity.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
If this is something that Sue is causing to affect Mary and her job I can see it. The fact that Mary is even calling work when she isn't there to check on Sue (unless again it is affecting her job) says to me that Mary is the one with the problem.
Exactly. And, most bosses don't want this kind of petty crap shoved in their faces everyday.
We had a secretary like this where I used to work. I got along with her--and even considered her a friend, but she tried to keep track of the MANAGERS. She not only kept track of when they came and left, but also tried to dig up dirt on the last manager that was there when she was. She went so far as to report "sexual harassment"--which was untrue and she later recanted.
I never did figure out why she was so mad. She got fired after the sexual harassment nonsense. They had to investigate that. You can't just throw that out there willy nilly in today's workplace and not get someone riled up.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
