DEAR ABBY: My husband had a heart attack a week ago and is still in the ICU. I visit him every day. Yesterday I found out that he had asked his sister to stay with me to "be there for me."
I am furious. My sister-in-law is a nice woman, but we have never been close. My house is a shambles (my husband and I are both disabled, he with peripheral artery disease and me after having been run over by a car) because housework is painful for me. So now, in addition to the stress of taking cabs to see him, I have the additional stress and pain of trying to make the house presentable.
I know my husband meant well, but I don't want to go through this in front of an audience. I feel angry and also guilty for being angry. Can you help me put all this into perspective? -- STRESSED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR STRESSED: After spending a week in an ICU, your husband may be having concerns about ever emerging. He may have suggested his sister come because he was worried about how you would handle being alone. That you might be upset because your home isn't ready to be featured in House Beautiful probably didn't enter his mind.
However, now that she's coming, be smart. Ask her to help you with the deferred housework so the place will be shipshape when your husband is discharged. If, as you say, you and your sister-in-law aren't close, her stay with you may be shorter than planned.
He found out she was having a lesbian affair with his sister and had a heart attack. That's the part that was edited out.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
ok seriously, rubbing laughing smile off my face, ahem. So if the house is a shambles and dirty, perhaps a house cleaner is needed. Maybe LW doesn't have the money to afford one, but there are organizations that will help disabled people with that.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I would be stressed, but not mad.
I would probably stay with my husband as much as possible.
It is possible she is a lovely person that is planning o n getting the house cleaned up, and relieviing her burden a bit.
I would be mad too. I would be mad because I'd be embarrassed.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou