Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:
1. June 15, 2014: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2, 2014: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7, 2014: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19, 2014: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4, 2014: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.
6. August 14, 2014: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15, 2014: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23, 2014: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4, 2014: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10, 2014: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3, 2014: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.
12. October 6, 2014: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18, 2014: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
14. October 22, 2014: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. October 23, 2014: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 25, 2014: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.
Regards,
Fred Richardson, Walmart Manager
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
Exactly. It's stupid behavior. Malicious really.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
Debatable.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
A place of business is not the place to carry on and conduct little pranks. It isn't funny when you are the one who gets to clean up after it. And when one person starts acting like an idiot in a store, others looking on get the idea that they can and should join in and pull pranks too. Pretty soon the store is trashed. Hysterical.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I think the only prank that DH did was when he actually worked at a drug store chain.
A thunderstorm blew in, and it was a total deluge of rain coming down. He got on the store intercom and paged "Greg, cart pick up!" Greg was a new guy, and while everyone was giggling, the poor fellow headed out the door to the parking lot.
A place of business is not the place to carry on and conduct little pranks. It isn't funny when you are the one who gets to clean up after it. And when one person starts acting like an idiot in a store, others looking on get the idea that they can and should join in and pull pranks too. Pretty soon the store is trashed. Hysterical.
This! They all sound pretty childish to me not really funny IMHO.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
A place of business is not the place to carry on and conduct little pranks. It isn't funny when you are the one who gets to clean up after it. And when one person starts acting like an idiot in a store, others looking on get the idea that they can and should join in and pull pranks too. Pretty soon the store is trashed. Hysterical.
This! They all sound pretty childish to me not really funny IMHO.
Because it's a joke...none of this actually happened.
Some of them are harmless and yes, funny. The wet floor sign on the carpet? Funny. Randomly dropping boxes of condoms in people's carts, funny. Juvenile, yes, but funny.
Some of them are harmless and yes, funny. The wet floor sign on the carpet? Funny. Randomly dropping boxes of condoms in people's carts, funny. Juvenile, yes, but funny.
My favorite is setting all the alarm clocks.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
Debatable.
Seriously Husker? Way to weave a personal attack into a lighthearted thread.
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
Debatable.
Seriously Husker? Way to weave a personal attack into a lighthearted thread.
It was light hearted until the unlighthearted people with no sense of humor showed up.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Only funny if you don't work in a big box store and have never had people do those things thinking they are the most hysterical person to ever walk in the doors. The people working there are at work. Imagine if someone came to your office and acted like that. It would not be funny.
And yes, I have a sense of humor. I just don't think a store is the place to carry on like an idiot.
Debatable.
Seriously Husker? Way to weave a personal attack into a lighthearted thread.
It was light hearted until the unlighthearted people with no sense of humor showed up.
AND the Pot calls the Kettle Black ...
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
