TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

RE: Dear Abby: We Don't Approve of Cohabitating Daughter

Sin City Girl · Member

It would bother me if my parents were to not show up for my party. I think you can not agree with a choice and still show support to your kid and be happy for them if they are happy. If the daughter got married everything would be fine for them? When does it stop? What will the next thing they disagree with that she will have to change so her parents are happy. So glad I don't have parents like this.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Buying your first home is a pretty-big deal.

No way would I miss that housewarming.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

chillepeppa wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
chillepeppa wrote:
The "what they don't condone" does not stop once the celebrations are over. it will still be going on. To me, this is a guilt trip move of note.
So? Maybe they won't go to their house while they are living together without marriage. I've known a few people that did that. Why should the parents have to agree with their lifestyle? Talk about controlling...
They don't have to agree at all.
But withholding their presence from their adult daughter's life till she does as they expect is NOT controlling??

Emphasis on "ADULT" daughter.

flan

Mary Zombie · Guru

I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.

huskerbb · Guru

It's all well and good to have values. Yes, it an be disappointing when children you raised with those values no longer share them. However, is this really the hill you want to die on? They are going to do this with or without your approval. You risk ruining the otherwise good relationship you say you have with your children over something you can't change and they won't change.

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.

It's not the LW that is cutting anyone off, but if she can't come to some degree of respect for her adult daughters' decisions--then she will be the one cut out.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.

Exactly. It's a PARTY. The daughter can choose to make it a guantlet or not, but she is the one who already chose to move in with her boyfriend knowing the parents didn't approve. She needs to get over them declining to attend a party to celebrate it.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
And letting this drive a wedge between them is not smart. They can make all the statements they want, but people remember hurt feelings and feeling disrespected, and mom and dad should think long and hard before they make decisions that affect their relationship with the parents of their future grandchildren.
I see. So the only feelings that matter are the daughter's.

This isn't about "feelings". They can disagree with their daughters all they want--but unless they want to risk estrangement, then this is not the issue to make their stand on.

Mary Zombie · Guru

I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut off her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 01:24:33 PM

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.
Exactly. It's a PARTY. The daughter can choose to make it a guantlet or not, but she is the one who already chose to move in with her boyfriend knowing the parents didn't approve. She needs to get over them declining to attend a party to celebrate it.

No. She doesnt have to do anything.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.
Exactly. It's a PARTY. The daughter can choose to make it a guantlet or not, but she is the one who already chose to move in with her boyfriend knowing the parents didn't approve. She needs to get over them declining to attend a party to celebrate it.
No. She doesnt have to do anything.

Then she is a bitch. She knew she was doing something her parents disapproved of. And now she wants them to celebrate it. Yep, she's a bitch.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Huh? Not necessarily.

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.

This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Sorry. Their lives are not about what YOU would choose. Oh well. It's THEIR life. You can be a part of that or not.

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.
Exactly. It's a PARTY. The daughter can choose to make it a guantlet or not, but she is the one who already chose to move in with her boyfriend knowing the parents didn't approve. She needs to get over them declining to attend a party to celebrate it.
No. She doesnt have to do anything.
Then she is a bitch. She knew she was doing something her parents disapproved of. And now she wants them to celebrate it. Yep, she's a bitch.

That's simply an idiotic statement. Adult children do not have to do everything their parents want.

huskerbb · Guru

What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't see anything in the letter indicating the LW is going to cut the daughter off. Assuming that's the case I don't have issue with her declining the party. If she is that devout and feels that strongly.....she can decline this but still be a loving presence in her daughter's life.
Exactly. It's a PARTY. The daughter can choose to make it a guantlet or not, but she is the one who already chose to move in with her boyfriend knowing the parents didn't approve. She needs to get over them declining to attend a party to celebrate it.
No. She doesnt have to do anything.
Then she is a bitch. She knew she was doing something her parents disapproved of. And now she wants them to celebrate it. Yep, she's a bitch.
That's simply an idiotic statement. Adult children do not have to do everything their parents want.

No, but they don't have a right to expect their parents to throw their values out the door either. She's a bitch. She knew they wouldn't approve and yet, she expects them to be all happy about it.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?

Dating a black guy isn't a sin. Living with a black guy outside of marriage is...

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?
Dating a black guy isn't a sin. Living with a black guy outside of marriage is...

You didn't say anything about being a "sin" or not. You said "parents disapproved of".

huskerbb · Guru

Values aren't just "sins" or not.

Mary Zombie · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?

I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.

Mary Zombie · Guru

And as an aside...m
5 years ....ready to buy a house but not marry? I would not date that long and certainly wouldn't buy property with someone I'm not married to. Not for religious reasons but feel like ....how would that benefit me?

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?
Dating a black guy isn't a sin. Living with a black guy outside of marriage is...
You didn't say anything about being a "sin" or not. You said "parents disapproved of".

I don't know anyone that has this "value" other than the fact that it is sinful.

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.

Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.
Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?

The "bastard child" hasn't done anything wrong. His parents have. I would never want a child to suffer because his parents were *******s...

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?
Dating a black guy isn't a sin. Living with a black guy outside of marriage is...
You didn't say anything about being a "sin" or not. You said "parents disapproved of".
I don't know anyone that has this "value" other than the fact that it is sinful.

So what? This isn't the only value one can hold. Not all values have to be associated with sin. MANY are not. Many Chinese families want their children to marry other chinese. For them, that would be as deeply held of a value as any sin. Or are everyone else values BS just because they aren't yours?

huskerbb · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.
Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?
The "bastard child" hasn't done anything wrong. His parents have. I would never want a child to suffer because his parents were *******s...

And you were the one wondering why your ex gets to spend more time with you grandchild than you. That attitude says it all. You view your child as a bitch if she doesn't do exactly what you want her to do.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

How far does this "ban" extend? Are the parents going to refuse to come to their daughter's house for holidays and birthdays too?

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
What if their boyfriend was black and they just didn't want them dating a black guy. Still a bitch for not doing what mommy wants?
Dating a black guy isn't a sin. Living with a black guy outside of marriage is...
You didn't say anything about being a "sin" or not. You said "parents disapproved of".
I don't know anyone that has this "value" other than the fact that it is sinful.
So what? This isn't the only value one can hold. Not all values have to be associated with sin. MANY are not. Many Chinese families want their children to marry other chinese. For them, that would be as deeply held of a value as any sin. Or are everyone else values BS just because they aren't yours?

That is exactly how these parents are being treated.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
How far does this "ban" extend? Are the parents going to refuse to come to their daughter's house for holidays and birthdays too?

flan

It's a HOUSEWARMING party for a co-hab arrangement. It has nothing to do with a birthday. Just like baking a wedding cake has nothing to do with baking a birthday cake.

The way people seem to extrapolate is both amazing and sad.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How far does this "ban" extend? Are the parents going to refuse to come to their daughter's house for holidays and birthdays too?

flan
It's a HOUSEWARMING party for a co-hab arrangement. It has nothing to do with a birthday. Just like baking a wedding cake has nothing to do with baking a birthday cake.

The way people seem to extrapolate is both amazing and sad.

But it's a den of iniquity!

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
How far does this "ban" extend? Are the parents going to refuse to come to their daughter's house for holidays and birthdays too?

flan
It's a HOUSEWARMING party for a co-hab arrangement. It has nothing to do with a birthday. Just like baking a wedding cake has nothing to do with baking a birthday cake.

The way people seem to extrapolate is both amazing and sad.
But it's a den of iniquity!
flan

So is Walmart.

Ohfour · Hooker

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.
Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?
The "bastard child" hasn't done anything wrong. His parents have. I would never want a child to suffer because his parents were *******s...
And you were the one wondering why your ex gets to spend more time with you grandchild than you. That attitude says it all. You view your child as a bitch if she doesn't do exactly what you want her to do.

No, I admit my child is a bitch. A very selfish one. She doesn't have to do anything I want her to do, and on the flip side, neither do I. Her father kissed her butt, I did not play those games. He's was making up for lost time. She lives her life the way she see fit, even though it has come back to bite her. Guess who she calls crying to every other day? Yep, me. He screwed up again...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.
Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?
The "bastard child" hasn't done anything wrong. His parents have. I would never want a child to suffer because his parents were *******s...
And you were the one wondering why your ex gets to spend more time with you grandchild than you. That attitude says it all. You view your child as a bitch if she doesn't do exactly what you want her to do.

YEs, because not wanting to go on vacation with your ex-husband is so unreasonable.

The attitude on this thread that parents have to do whatever makes their kids happy is the reason we have so many bratty, can't support themselves, selfish kids in the world today. Used to be kids were more concerned about pleasing their parents than the other way around.

You want to give in to childish emotional blackmail - have at it. The rest of us don't have to.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan

If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.

It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.

If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.
It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.
If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.
flan

I WILL NOT condone my childrens' sin. WHO DOES THAT??????

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.
It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.
If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.
flan

Her lifestyle is a SIN. She's choosing to live in sin. Hell no, they shouldn't just shrug it off. They are her parents and they are charged by God to teach her morals and how to live. That is their job. Not to rah-rah whatever the hell she wants to do.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
I think in this case both the LW and the DD both have valid points. Why would the DD need to cut odd her parents over one party? I am sure she is aware of how her parents feel. I wouldn't have invited my parents. They felt the same way as the LW.
And we loved each other.
This isn't just one party. What about the "bastard" children in the future if they don't get married? Is she still going to be all attitudy Judy then?
I didn't get that from the letter. Why assume? If we cn love the sinner but not the sin..why can we not decline celebrating something we consider sin....and not still love and be there in other ways?

I don't have strict views about this btw....but I understand those who do. The parents aren't being hateful. They are unable to violate their conscience.
Values aren't just sins. I don't know why people are so caught up on that. However, undoubtedly in their view a bastard child would be against their values, also. Why would you assume they would be on with celebrating that and not this?
The "bastard child" hasn't done anything wrong. His parents have. I would never want a child to suffer because his parents were *******s...
And you were the one wondering why your ex gets to spend more time with you grandchild than you. That attitude says it all. You view your child as a bitch if she doesn't do exactly what you want her to do.
YEs, because not wanting to go on vacation with your ex-husband is so unreasonable.

The attitude on this thread that parents have to do whatever makes their kids happy is the reason we have so many bratty, can't support themselves, selfish kids in the world today. Used to be kids were more concerned about pleasing their parents than the other way around.
You want to give in to childish emotional blackmail - have at it. The rest of us don't have to.

THANK YOU...

Tinydancer · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.
It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.
If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.
flan
Her lifestyle is a SIN. She's choosing to live in sin. Hell no, they shouldn't just shrug it off. They are her parents and they are charged by God to teach her morals and how to live. That is their job. Not to rah-rah whatever the hell she wants to do.

This is soooo true. Just like you teach your kid other things but the soul is very very important!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tinydancer wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.
It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.
If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.
flan
Her lifestyle is a SIN. She's choosing to live in sin. Hell no, they shouldn't just shrug it off. They are her parents and they are charged by God to teach her morals and how to live. That is their job. Not to rah-rah whatever the hell she wants to do.
This is soooo true. Just like you teach your kid other things but the soul is very very important!

The soul is the MOST important thing.

Tinydancer · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
If you want to treat your adult kids as if they were still 6 years old -- have at it.

flan
If that's the way they are going to act....

An ADULT would not ruin her relationship with her parents over a party.
It's NOT just "a party," and you know it. It's a condemnation of her lifestyle.
If you can't accept your children unless they are clones of you...That's sad.
flan
Her lifestyle is a SIN. She's choosing to live in sin. Hell no, they shouldn't just shrug it off. They are her parents and they are charged by God to teach her morals and how to live. That is their job. Not to rah-rah whatever the hell she wants to do.
This is soooo true. Just like you teach your kid other things but the soul is very very important!
The soul is the MOST important thing.

Absolutely the most important thing to me and a few others I'm sure.

chillepeppa · Regular

They have taught her how to live. But her "God given free choice" has her making her own choices. What are they trying to achieve by boycotting this party? How far can a parent take this? Does age of reason not count for something in terms of accountability for ones own actions?

-- Edited by chillepeppa on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 03:30:08 PM

Tinydancer · Guru

chillepeppa wrote:
They have taught her how to live. But her "God given free choice" has her making her own choices. What are they trying to achieve by boycotting this party? How far can a parent take this? Does age of reason not count for something in terms of accountability for ones own actions?

-- Edited by chillepeppa on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 03:30:08 PM

Yes, which is why the parents feel they shouldn't go. Some people have real conviction and will do what they must to follow their own conscience.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

chillepeppa wrote:
They have taught her how to live. But her "God given free choice" has her making her own choices. What are they trying to achieve by boycotting this party? How far can a parent take this? Does age of reason not count for something in terms of accountability for ones own actions?

-- Edited by chillepeppa on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 03:30:08 PM

But you are not providing for accountability of anyone - you want the parents to just overlook the daughter going against everything they taught her. They have thier own accountability to deal with - and not condoning their daughter's actions is part of that.

chillepeppa · Regular

Tinydancer wrote:
chillepeppa wrote:
They have taught her how to live. But her "God given free choice" has her making her own choices. What are they trying to achieve by boycotting this party? How far can a parent take this? Does age of reason not count for something in terms of accountability for ones own actions?

-- Edited by chillepeppa on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 03:30:08 PM
Yes, which is why the parents feel they shouldn't go. Some people have real conviction and will do what they must to follow their own conscience.

That is their choice, I guess. Accepting their adult daughter's decisions does not mean agreeing with them.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

chillepeppa wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
chillepeppa wrote:
They have taught her how to live. But her "God given free choice" has her making her own choices. What are they trying to achieve by boycotting this party? How far can a parent take this? Does age of reason not count for something in terms of accountability for ones own actions?

-- Edited by chillepeppa on Tuesday 5th of May 2015 03:30:08 PM
Yes, which is why the parents feel they shouldn't go. Some people have real conviction and will do what they must to follow their own conscience.
That is their choice, I guess. Accepting their adult daughter's decisions does not mean agreeing with them.

An an adult child needs to accept that her parents do not have to celebrate her decisions that they don't agree with. You keep calling her an adult but don't hold her resposnible for anything.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Accepting and celebrating are two completely different things.