TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

Should I send her check back?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ed, she appreciates everything you have done for her professionally and is now in a position to give you a gift. Do not rob her of that opportunity. Suck it up buttercup.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Ed, she appreciates everything you have done for her professionally and is now in a position to give you a gift. Do not rob her of that opportunity. Suck it up buttercup.

Agreed. If you give it back she may be insulted. I wouldn't risk the work relationship.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Use the money to do something nice for someone else.

aergia · Regular

yes dont insult her.....

ed11563 · Guru

The advice seems to be consistent, to keep the money.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

ed11563 wrote:
The advice seems to be consistent, to keep the money.

Roger that, ed.

You will hurt her feelings, if you send it back.

Don't go there.

karl271 · Guru

Since we are not talking about hundreds of dollars, keep it. She wants to give you this $50 as a thank you and let you spend it on whatever you want.
Don't get all worked up about her life style, what she may need, etc. etc. Just take it. Good heavens, this is not a big deal...

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

karl271 wrote:
Since we are not talking about hundreds of dollars, keep it. She wants to give you this $50 as a thank you and let you spend it on whatever you want.
Don't get all worked up about her life style, what she may need, etc. etc. Just take it. Good heavens, this is not a big deal...

Yeah, and it's not even any of your business whether or not she's married to her child's father. Unless she's asked for your opinion.

Renegade Time Lord · Am I A Good Man?

karl271 wrote:
Since we are not talking about hundreds of dollars, keep it. She wants to give you this $50 as a thank you and let you spend it on whatever you want.
Don't get all worked up about her life style, what she may need, etc. etc. Just take it. Good heavens, this is not a big deal...

+1

Well said, Karl. Thank you.

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Cash the cheque, Ed. You can take money from a woman when it is offered as a thank you!

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

If it makes you uncomfortable to use the money on yourself, donate it to a local charity, but you should cash it, for sure.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I just wouldn't cash the check. If she came asking about it, then I would tell her I consider covering for her to be part of my job and her paying me makes me feel weird.

She should have sent a gift card - not a check, IMO.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Cash the check and donate it to a charity of your choice, ed.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Bali is on my bucket list...

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I think it's weird she gave you a check instead of cash or a gift card. Maybe she's hoping you won't cash it.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's weird she gave you a check instead of cash or a gift card. Maybe she's hoping you won't cash it.

Likely sending a check was quicker. I wouldn't confuse the issue even more...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Here you go Ed.

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

I'm sure you can find something to do with the money.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.

CitySon did it better!

evileye

flan

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.
CitySon did it better!
flan

You read my mind!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Southern_Belle wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.
CitySon did it better!
flan
You read my mind!

Cuz we iz smart!

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Southern_Belle wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.
CitySon did it better!
flan
You read my mind!

Crap. You're right.

So it's city and then Ed.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's weird she gave you a check instead of cash or a gift card. Maybe she's hoping you won't cash it.
Likely sending a check was quicker. I wouldn't confuse the issue even more...
flan

Why not? That's what we do. Take assuming all sorts of things that are not said in any other thread.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's weird she gave you a check instead of cash or a gift card. Maybe she's hoping you won't cash it.
Likely sending a check was quicker. I wouldn't confuse the issue even more...
flan
Why not? That's what we do. Take assuming all sorts of things that are not said in any other thread.

But it's ed... evileye

flan

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I might have a check in my purse. I for sure don't have cash in my purse. Ever.

JPT · Senior Member

Tignanello wrote:
Cash the cheque, Ed. You can take money from a woman when it is offered as a thank you!

Yes, and as much as I love you, Ed, that remark about "I don't take money from women" rubbed me wrong. So, you wouldn't mind taking it from a man?

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

Just cash the check & take yourself out to a nice restaurant for lunch on her.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

JPT wrote:
Tignanello wrote:
Cash the cheque, Ed. You can take money from a woman when it is offered as a thank you!

Yes, and as much as I love you, Ed, that remark about "I don't take money from women" rubbed me wrong. So, you wouldn't mind taking it from a man?

Me too. It isn't like she is some penny scrimping 50's housewife saving her grocery money in a cookie jar so she can pay you. She is a working human who earns a paycheck. Her gender is irrelevant as a coworker.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

ed is of a different generation & I think that's just the way he was raised.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
ed is of a different generation & I think that's just the way he was raised.

flan

????? Wow.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

flan327 wrote:
ed is of a different generation & I think that's just the way he was raised.

flan

Understood. But he is working in a modern world, not in the world in which he was raised.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Well, I for one fell in love when Ed said,

Spoiler: First, I don't take money from women.

But many of you know my story, so I'm sure you can understand why I feel that way.

Ed, please do keep the money. Anything else might make her feel badly or at least embarrass her.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Honeys_Mom wrote:
Well, I for one fell in love when Ed said,
Spoiler
First, I don't take money from women.
But many of you know my story, so I'm sure you can understand why I feel that way.
Ed, please do keep the money. Anything else might make her feel badly or at least embarrass her.

Yes, to him, that is how a GENTLEMAN behaves.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I am so going to remember this the next time you claim something is sexist.

huskerbb · Guru

Don't take money from women???

That's bizarro. Your mom has never given you a gift? (that explains a lot). Your grandma never sent you a Christmas check? A graduation card with money in it? Wedding gifts of money from various aunts and female cousins?

Whenitrains · Member

Lawyerlady wrote:
I think it's weird she gave you a check instead of cash or a gift card. Maybe she's hoping you won't cash it.

That's what I was thinking. Or she figures you'll give the check back.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.
CitySon did it better!
flan

OMG I miss City Son!

ed11563 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I just wouldn't cash the check. If she came asking about it, then I would tell her I consider covering for her to be part of my job and her paying me makes me feel weird.

She should have sent a gift card - not a check, IMO.

Now I wonder whether she felt weird when I gave her the new baby gift.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
And I'm gonna say I have never seen any one over think things like you do. Just sayin.

It's a gift

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I just wouldn't cash the check. If she came asking about it, then I would tell her I consider covering for her to be part of my job and her paying me makes me feel weird.

She should have sent a gift card - not a check, IMO.
Now I wonder whether she felt weird when I gave her the new baby gift.

Doubtful. That's a GIFT - not money.

Tinydancer · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I just wouldn't cash the check. If she came asking about it, then I would tell her I consider covering for her to be part of my job and her paying me makes me feel weird.

She should have sent a gift card - not a check, IMO.
Now I wonder whether she felt weird when I gave her the new baby gift.

Probably.

ed11563 · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I just wouldn't cash the check. If she came asking about it, then I would tell her I consider covering for her to be part of my job and her paying me makes me feel weird.

She should have sent a gift card - not a check, IMO.
Now I wonder whether she felt weird when I gave her the new baby gift.

Probably.

Then this is a creative way for her to return it to me. hmm

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Wow, LL and TD, your answers remind me of yin and yang. biggrin

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Honeys_Mom wrote:
Wow, LL and TD, your answers remind me of yin and yang.

We have to disagree once in a while. biggrin But I won't hate her for it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Oh goodness.

She was appreciative of the gift.

The check is in appreciation of you covering for her while she was gone.

No need for speculation of any kind.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable donate the money, buy food for the local food bank, give it to a random homeless person, buy books and toys for a shelter.

Divine Geek · Guru

I say: keep the money. Treat yourself. Your co-worker appreciated what you did and she's showing you that. I've done this, but not with a check. I usually buy lunch, or bring in cookies or flowers. Honestly, it sounds like she's a little lazy and figured she'd just fire off a check instead of putting some thought into it.

Re not taking money from woman: yes, I know you are from another era Ed, but get over it. Accepting a gift from a woman does not make you less of a man. If she has the money and chooses to use it to thank you, that's her business (same advice for judging her lifestyle). Accepting a gift does not equal taking advantage.

The baby gift: no, she probably doesn't feel weird about your gift. Giving a gift for a birth is normal. If anything, she may feel weird about you directing how the gift is to be used.

ed11563 · Guru

Divine Geek wrote:
I say: keep the money. Treat yourself. Your co-worker appreciated what you did and she's showing you that. I've done this, but not with a check. I usually buy lunch, or bring in cookies or flowers. Honestly, it sounds like she's a little lazy and figured she'd just fire off a check instead of putting some thought into it.

Re not taking money from woman: yes, I know you are from another era Ed, but get over it. Accepting a gift from a woman does not make you less of a man. If she has the money and chooses to use it to thank you, that's her business (same advice for judging her lifestyle). Accepting a gift does not equal taking advantage.

The baby gift: no, she probably doesn't feel weird about your gift. Giving a gift for a birth is normal. If anything, she may feel weird about you directing how the gift is to be used.

In past years, sometimes when there's been an event or a milestone in the life of someone in our district, someone would arrange a group gift, usually for $5 per person, so if everyone contributed it would be $40.

That seemed to stop about 4 years ago. The last group gift was for someone I'd worked with closely, who I trusted (still do), who lost her father.

I collected $5 from the 5 people who sent it to me, and gave her a $100 gift certificate for a nice Diner she likes, near her home, so that no one would have to cook while she was arranging the funeral, etc.

People don't expect much, it seems, she was floored that anyone cared enough to help her like that.

But no one came up with anything for this lady's baby. So I did. Giving a gift for the birth may be normal, but no one (no one else) did anything.

Maybe stepping up and letting people know that they're cared about ...

is a character flaw.

Sorry that I'm rambling. It's midnight, and the plumber is coming tomorrow.

Good night, my friends.

Okay, you've convinced me, I'll cash her check and buy something.

Tinydancer · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Honeys_Mom wrote:
Wow, LL and TD, your answers remind me of yin and yang.
We have to disagree once in a while. But I won't hate her for it.

aww We had to disagree at some point...lol

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Divine Geek wrote:
I say: keep the money. Treat yourself. Your co-worker appreciated what you did and she's showing you that. I've done this, but not with a check. I usually buy lunch, or bring in cookies or flowers. Honestly, it sounds like she's a little lazy and figured she'd just fire off a check instead of putting some thought into it.

Re not taking money from woman: yes, I know you are from another era Ed, but get over it. Accepting a gift from a woman does not make you less of a man. If she has the money and chooses to use it to thank you, that's her business (same advice for judging her lifestyle). Accepting a gift does not equal taking advantage.

The baby gift: no, she probably doesn't feel weird about your gift. Giving a gift for a birth is normal. If anything, she may feel weird about you directing how the gift is to be used.

Or she is a working single mom with no time to make extra trips to the store.