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Post Info TOPIC: The Church Is Not Your Home


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The Church Is Not Your Home
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The Church Is Not Your Home

Posted: 05/06/2015 12:33 pm EDT Updated: 05/06/2015 12:59 pm EDT

pin_icon_onhover.pngBIBLE HOMOSEXUALITY
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An atheist walked into three churches last Sunday.

I know. Sounds like the beginning of a great joke. In fact, you could probably come up with an awesome punch line.

But it's no joke.

A recent Christian Today article tells the story of Sanderson Jones, the leader of Sunday Assembly -- also known as the "atheist church." Jones' mission was to attend three London church services in one day. But he wasn't there to debunk Christianity. No. In his words, he was just "learning from the pros."

Jones walked away with a great appreciation for communion and prayer. While he was not converted, he was most affected by the way in which churches welcomed him and gave him a sense of belonging.

I believe Jones experienced what every single one of our churches is trying to offer. We all want to do the work of Jesus by welcoming others like guests in our home. I've heard that phrase a lot lately as my own church seeks to reach the community in more meaningful ways.

Like guests in our home.

It's a wonderful analogy, isn't it? We roll out the red carpet for houseguests. We offer them our best food and drink. We break out the fine china. Heck, we even let them use the special towels that normally stay locked behind some sort of invisible force field in our bathrooms, never to be touched by an actual family member.

In this sense, Jones is absolutely right. Christians are pros at welcoming. If welcoming were an Olympic sport, churches would be Michael Phelps, only with coffee stations and tuna hot dish. But here's the problem:

I'm afraid the mindset behind our welcoming spirit might slowly, subtly be killing our church.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying our churches should stop welcoming visitors. And I'm not saying church shouldn't feel like a place where you belong. What I am saying is that we need to stop viewing our churches as our homes. And here's the reason.

While I am very welcoming to my guests, I also see my home as mine. A possession. You probably do, too. And so I create rules and expectations to protect it. I'm kinda' particular about the grass. The mower lines should run diagonally. And the spoons should never "spoon" in the dishwasher. Kids should never eat in the living room. And I'm fairly certain that failure to use a coaster is acceptable grounds for divorce in 36 of the 50 states. These rules are our custom, and we're unlikely to adapt quickly.

When we do have parties for others, we relax these rules. We also vacuum the carpet, mop the floor, and scour the kitchen to make things bright and shiny for our guests. All the messy stuff stays behind closed doors or tucked away in closets, just waiting to pounce on someone who mistakenly thinks it's the entrance to the bathroom.

Finally, while those parties may be absolutely fantastic, I have to admit that they usually only happen on the weekends, and they are normally limited to friends of friends who we know will enjoy each other's company. But during the week, the house is largely empty, save for immediate family.

Sound familiar?

Our churches do amazing things. We go on mission trips. We sponsor charities. We bring the gospel to people desperately in need of a "good news" story. But the truth is, when we think of the church, we see it as ours. Like our home. A possession.

And it has to stop.

We have rules and traditions that start to take on a God-like quality in the way we worship them. Then we wonder why some see Christians as rigid and inflexible.

We primp and prime for the big party on Sunday and greet folks with big smiles, while hiding the messy realities of church life in the closet. Then we wonder why some see Christians as lacking authenticity.

We spend roughly 82 percent of our church budgets on staff and buildings that are only open a few hours per week, mostly for programs designed specifically for our members. Then we wonder why some see Christians as selfish.

When I work with congregations, I often ask the members what they love most about their church. And 9 times out of 10, the response is, "It's like a big family."

And every time I hear this, I cringe a little.

Again, please don't misunderstand me. Families are beautiful. My own family is incredibly welcoming. At the same time, we're also loud and boisterous and overwhelming. We have inside jokes and tired old stories. If you're spending Thanksgiving with us for the first time it can be downright exhausting. And exclusive. As an outsider, you are left to try and quickly understand decades of history and assimilate quickly.

And we ask our church guests to do the exact same thing.

We absolutely want them to be members of the family. We invite them warmly. But rather than meet them where they are, we ask them to meet us where we are. The result? Those who are drawn to us, and therefore drawn to Jesus, will be those who tend to worship like us, believe like us, and look like us. Threading the impossibly narrow eye of the needle.

And we wonder why church membership is declining.

But here's the good news. We need not take up such a heavy burden. Christ never asked us to own His church or His building. No. Man was simply the rock it was built upon. Consider the scriptures:

The Earth is the Lord's and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him. (Psalm 24:1 NIV)

 
 

We are here to support God's creation. As stewards. And it's time we recapture that call. As church leaders, we must begin to see ourselves as caretakers of sacred ground rather than owners of a house.

Because the church is not our home. We do not possess it. We shouldn't try to tame it any more than we should try and reign in nature. Consider the parks where gates are wide and all are welcome. This is what our churches should be. Open to all at any time. Some people come to work. Others come for recreation. Still more come to rest.

The caretakers of such spaces don't care why you are there. They only want to assure that, no matter the reason you have come, you will feel the beauty and magnificence of Our Creator. They also hope the beauty you experience will be so real, so palpable, that you have no choice but to share the experience with others. Like vacation photos of the Grand Canyon that never quite do it justice.

There are glimpses of this in our own communities. Some churches operate food pantries. Others have given up their buildings altogether to provide transitional housing for those on the margins. I think of a recent Monday night at my own church, where a dozen homeless men slept in a fellowship hall, while Alcoholics Anonymous met in a preschool classroom, and a community development meeting took place in the sanctuary. Not a single event for church members.

But the family of God was there.

So I pray today that this will be our call. That we may tirelessly look for ways to be caretakers of the church where we serve. To look for ways to use our buildings and our gifts not for ourselves, but for others. And in so doing, may the light of Christ show through our generosity. Our openness. And our selflessness. Reaching out to the family of God.

Welcoming them home.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-dannemiller/the-church-is-not-your-home_b_7217926.html?utm_hp_ref=religion

 



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very true indeed--here in hooterville, was walking around downtown and walked up to the front entrance of the Episcopal church ( this was on a Wednesday morning about 10:30AM )--the entrance was locked up tight--four doors across the front of the building--curious, I knocked on the door rather loudly and waited for about three minutes--the door was unlocked and opened slowly to reveal a middle-aged minister who smiled and asked what he might do for me--I smiled politely and asked him " why is my Father's house locked ? "--and he replied " For security reasons. we've had some vandalism of the church over the last several weeks so we decided to keep the building locked. "

was truly sad to hear that vandals would trash a church--unbelievable



-- Edited by burns07 on Saturday 9th of May 2015 11:15:50 AM

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It seems many confuse the "church" with the "church building". Just like my "home" is with my family and not the house in where we live.



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have always believed that a church was the house of the lord, a sacred place--much like the hallowed grounds of a cemetery or a battlefield--whether a humble shack or a spectacular cathedral, to be honored and revered and treated with respect--whether Christian or any other faith

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Domestic Engineer wrote:

It seems many confuse the "church" with the "church building". Just like my "home" is with my family and not the house in where we live.


 Good point!

flan



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The church I grew up in never locked any of its doors. It was a huge church with multiple levels.

The pastor and his family lived on the same property.

It was robbed when I was about 16. After that the church was locked after a certain time at night.

When the new building was uilt and the church moved. It not only stays locked up but has a security system.

I think it is sad that a person can't go to church for prayer and comfort when they need. Sanctuary is still needed.



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Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.

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I think people want perfect churches. And when they see that actual humans are there, making human mistakes, they use it as an excuse to leave.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


 Because you go in wearing your Grumpy Cat face...biggrin

flan



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flan327 wrote:
Domestic Engineer wrote:

It seems many confuse the "church" with the "church building". Just like my "home" is with my family and not the house in where we live.


 Good point!

flan


 And while I agree that churches are like homes to the extent of my home is my family and not the building we also lock our house doors when we leave so we don't come home to some vagrant with a gun that might want to do us harm.  I understand what this article is saying but you also have to live in the reality of the world we are now in.  Bad things happen.  It would be foolish to think they didn't or to just go wandering around thinking God will somehow protect you from every single little thing. God gives us common sense so we can protect ourselves sometimes.  Also, if you are a member of the church and need to get in for something most people know who or where to call for access.  Besides, if you think you can only get redemption, salvation, or witness to another while you are IN A CHURCH you probably are not ready for redemption, salvation, or witnessing.  All that stuff can be done anywhere.  Even on the side of the road at a truck stop.



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And I didn't mean that comment disrespectfully at all. What I mean, and if we stick with the family/home comparison, is that when your family goes somewhere else, like on vacation, you still love them just as much and your feelings don't change just because where you are at is different. If you are truly a child of God then your feelings shouldn't change when you are not in church. Yes, he does want us to gather in His name but you're still who you are regardless of where you are.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

I think people want perfect churches. And when they see that actual humans are there, making human mistakes, they use it as an excuse to leave.


Exactly.

 

They seem to have the mistaken notion that Christians are somehow "better" people--not so.

 

The thing that differentiates Christians from everyone else is that they recognize they AREN'T "good" people, that they need God's love and forgiveness. 

 

Yes, the same ones who are in church every Sunday DO sin during the week--that's why they go to church.  They realize their failings.  They realize they have not lived up to God's plan for their life.  They need to confess their sins and receive forgiveness.

 

Where else should sinners turn to BUT church?   



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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


 You are formally invited to church with me anytime you would like. My church is very welcoming.

 

when I say church feels like home. Or we are like family. I am speaking of my comfort level. I feel very comfortable in my church and around my church family. Plus, I do consider my pastor a part of my family. I love him the same as blood relatives, maybe even more. I know I like him more than many of my blood relatives. 



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flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


 Because you go in wearing your Grumpy Cat face...biggrin

flan


 Lol!



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Divine Geek wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


 You are formally invited to church with me anytime you would like. My church is very welcoming.

 

when I say church feels like home. Or we are like family. I am speaking of my comfort level. I feel very comfortable in my church and around my church family. Plus, I do consider my pastor a part of my family. I love him the same as blood relatives, maybe even more. I know I like him more than many of my blood relatives. 


 Ours is like this, too. 

 

I think size matters.  If you want to be anonymous and just use the church for prayer without getting involved  (which I think would be sad, the church is the people, not the building), then you should probably go to a really big church.  It will also be open more often, and have more community activities.  A small church, everyone will know everyone and they will welcome you and treat you like family, which will include all the stuff families include, the love and sometimes the issues.  A small church will normally not be open all the time, either, because it can't afford the staff to be there.

I think it's funny he complains about a big chunk of budget being spent on staff and the building and then complains if it's not open all the time.  Can't really have it both ways.  Our church spends very little on our building - only what we have to to keep it looking presentable.  We like to use our money to support missions and the community.



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Divine Geek wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


 You are formally invited to church with me anytime you would like. My church is very welcoming.

 

when I say church feels like home. Or we are like family. I am speaking of my comfort level. I feel very comfortable in my church and around my church family. Plus, I do consider my pastor a part of my family. I love him the same as blood relatives, maybe even more. I know I like him more than many of my blood relatives. 


 My pastor may very well become family after the comments his son has made to my daughter.

The words "ministers wife" were used.



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I have been part of a huge church all my life. I'm talking 2000 plus.

But I grew up in it. I had a lifetime to develop relationships.

We started there when I was 4 and there may have been a couple hundred in regular attendance. I saw it grow into bigger buildings twice.

My parents worked in the church. When I got older, I worked in the church.

And then I became the poster wild child and went my own way.

All those I grew up with are still in my life to some degree or another.

When I changed churches, it was to a smaller church. Immediately was accepted into the family and feel just as at home there.

Of course with a smaller church, everyone knows everyone. So that was something I had to get use to.

Here's the thing. I didn't wait to feel comfortable. I jumped in with both feet.

And I don't go into new situations expecting others to change for me.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, i have yet to find these "welcoming" churches.


I have met some really nice people.  But, usually it is the few who always want to run the Pastor out of town on a rail and they seem to take over the Church.  I guess I just got tired of the drama.  Yeah, I can ignore it or whatever.   



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