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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Cheap Relatives
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DEAR ABBY: My sister and her husband are well-to-do, but cheap. They recently invited themselves to stay three nights in our snowbird condo on their way to a vacation in the Caribbean. My wife and I hosted them, and during their stay we went out twice for dinner. Both times my sister was quick to request separate bills. In the meantime, we had provided lodging and all their other meals for them.

I am offended that they didn't show appreciation for our hospitality by at least taking us to dinner once. I have wanted to confront my sister about my feelings, but my wife has vehemently told me I shouldn't. What would you suggest? -- UNEQUAL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNEQUAL: I see two ways of dealing with this. Keep your mouth shut, avoid confrontation and the next time your sister tells you she's coming for a visit, roll up the welcome mat saying you already have other plans. Or, tell your sister how you feel.

Personally, I think it would be healthier to express your feelings, because your sister's and her husband's behavior was rude. It shows that because people have money doesn't necessarily mean they have class.

 

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/5/17/boys-questions-about-faith-call-for



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FNW


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I doubt I would say anything. But I would just roll up the mat.

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Vette


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Hmmm...they are definitely costanzas, lol. I wouldn't say anything but not host next time.

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ed11563


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Sounds like my brother and SIL.



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Lindley


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I may not say anything but if and when I would visit them I too wouldn't offer to take them out for a meal.

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Lawyerlady


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I wouldn't care. As long as they didn't expect me to pay for their dinner, it wouldn't bother me.

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huskerbb


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VetteGirl wrote:

Hmmm...they are definitely costanzas, lol. I wouldn't say anything but not host next time.

I don't see the need to dance around the subject.  Heck, I would have told them at the restaurant that they could pick up one of the tabs.

What's the downside, especially if you aren't going to invite them again, anyway?   



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Lexxy


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Well that was terribly rude of them but I doubt I'd say anything. It is his sister so he should know how she is & have expected it. She & her husband are who they are.

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just Czech


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Oh good grief, grow some balls man.

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Tignanello


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I don't think you can invite someone to stay in your home - or allow them to stay at their request without strings attached - and then expect them to pay 'rent' via food or meals out or other means of spending money on you. Yes, it would be nice if they did, but if you're wanting to charge 'rent' than charge it up front!

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Tangerine


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Tignanello wrote:

I don't think you can invite someone to stay in your home - or allow them to stay at their request without strings attached - and then expect them to pay 'rent' via food or meals out or other means of spending money on you. Yes, it would be nice if they did, but if you're wanting to charge 'rent' than charge it up front!

 If you are hosting someone you shouldn't expect anything in return. Most people are polite enough to do something anyway, though. Also it says the sister invited herself to stay, so she seems to be a rude person in general. 

If I were the letter writer I would be very busy and unable to host my sister again. 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Whenever DH and I have visited people, which isn't often, we always make sure we take them out at least once. It's just polite. I mean, if they are saving you the cost of lodging then use that money to take them out. JMO

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Ohfour


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Whenever DH and I have visited people, which isn't often, we always make sure we take them out at least once. It's just polite. I mean, if they are saving you the cost of lodging then use that money to take them out. JMO

 I can attest to this. NJN and her husband were PERFECT guests. We had the best time. Surreal...



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huskerbb


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Tangerine wrote:
Tignanello wrote:

I don't think you can invite someone to stay in your home - or allow them to stay at their request without strings attached - and then expect them to pay 'rent' via food or meals out or other means of spending money on you. Yes, it would be nice if they did, but if you're wanting to charge 'rent' than charge it up front!

 If you are hosting someone you shouldn't expect anything in return. Most people are polite enough to do something anyway, though. Also it says the sister invited herself to stay, so she seems to be a rude person in general. 

If I were the letter writer I would be very busy and unable to host my sister again. 

 How is that somehow better than just being honest?  Your sister would be wondering what she did to get the cold shoulder.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Ohfour wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Whenever DH and I have visited people, which isn't often, we always make sure we take them out at least once. It's just polite. I mean, if they are saving you the cost of lodging then use that money to take them out. JMO

 I can attest to this. NJN and her husband were PERFECT guests. We had the best time. Surreal...

 We did have fun.  Our DH's got along great.  One of these days I want to go back!

(I'm pretty much IRL how I am here!)



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Ohfour


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Whenever DH and I have visited people, which isn't often, we always make sure we take them out at least once. It's just polite. I mean, if they are saving you the cost of lodging then use that money to take them out. JMO

 I can attest to this. NJN and her husband were PERFECT guests. We had the best time. Surreal...

 We did have fun.  Our DH's got along great.  One of these days I want to go back!

(I'm pretty much IRL how I am here!)

 Yes you are. And I love you so much!!!!!



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Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Ohfour wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Whenever DH and I have visited people, which isn't often, we always make sure we take them out at least once. It's just polite. I mean, if they are saving you the cost of lodging then use that money to take them out. JMO

 I can attest to this. NJN and her husband were PERFECT guests. We had the best time. Surreal...

 We did have fun.  Our DH's got along great.  One of these days I want to go back!

(I'm pretty much IRL how I am here!)

 Yes you are. And I love you so much!!!!!

 THANK YOU!!  We had fun. 



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karl271


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Just went through this. Rolled up the welcome mat at the first notice of a pending visit. Sorry... No space in your 4 bedroom, 3 bath home for us, but.... Oh, well. If you can afford the trip to Japan, you can afford to get a hotel; lots of choices...

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Mellow Momma


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If I were hosting family, no way would I expect anything in return. Not even a meal. That's what family is for.

Hosting friends is somewhat different to me. If a friend Let me stay at their place, I would certainly treat them to a meal or a hostess gift of some type. It would never occur to me to do that for family - we just aren't as formal with each other. Family isn't a "guest" to me.


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Mary Zombie


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The fact that they asked to stay there and couldn't pick up a dinner tab out of appreciation would turn me off from hosting them again. I know in my intellect that I shouldn't expect it but it seems so tacky to me. I would treat my hosts at least once especially if they were saving me money in lodgings.


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Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Mary Zombie wrote:

The fact that they asked to stay there and couldn't pick up a dinner tab out of appreciation would turn me off from hosting them again. I know in my intellect that I shouldn't expect it but it seems so tacky to me. I would treat my hosts at least once especially if they were saving me money in lodgings.

   agreed



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flan327


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

The fact that they asked to stay there and couldn't pick up a dinner tab out of appreciation would turn me off from hosting them again. I know in my intellect that I shouldn't expect it but it seems so tacky to me. I would treat my hosts at least once especially if they were saving me money in lodgings.

   agreed

Exactly! They invited THEMSELVES.

flan 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Well, it is their house. They don't have to allow impromptu vacations there.

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flan327


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, it is their house. They don't have to allow impromptu vacations there.

But I vote for telling them WHY.

flan 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yes. But, it may have just been an oversight too. How is the relationship overall and is sis generally cheap in that regard or not? Sometimes people have lapses. Or maybe they have financial problems that she was afraid to tell sis or whatever. Who knows? They could at least talk.

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huskerbb


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Yes. But, it may have just been an oversight too. How is the relationship overall and is sis generally cheap in that regard or not? Sometimes people have lapses. Or maybe they have financial problems that she was afraid to tell sis or whatever. Who knows? They could at least talk.

 But most of the responses on here are just to make sure they can never stay with you again WITHOUT talking to them about it or telling them why.  I don't get that at all.  People just can't be honest.



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