Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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I think there is a lot of misunderstanding on how School Boards operate and what their role is. The role of the School Board is to make and vote on policy. The School Board is not involved in daily affairs, managing the school and day to day operation. The School Board is not involved in discipline issues at ALL unless or until it comes to the Board as an expulsion hearing. We are not privy to discipline issues that are going on because the Board is supposed to be an impartial jury to decide on expulsion hearings, so we are not given information on those goings on unless it rises to that level. Every school has bullying policies. We have bullying policies, social media use policies and on and on.

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 Well, THIS school board handled that meeting very poorly.  I hope they are all prepared to lose their seats the next time they come up for election.

"Every school has bullying policies. We have bullying policies, social media use policies and on and on."

 

I've never seen anything in writing about any local school's anti-bullying policies or programs.

These should be published, sent out to the community along with the school district newsletters,

transparent, emphasized and enforced.

 

One policy that SHOULD be in place and followed is, every incident of physical bullying should be reported to the police, so students can be charged with assault when appropriate.

I'm sick and tired of school hiding this activity and constantly letting the perpetrators get away with it.

 

 

Bullying is a very difficult thing to police. People can bully without a word. They can give an askance look, etc. And, how do you expect the School Board to police Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and Yik Yak and a thousand other social media sites?
And, the School Board is not the parent either. If you think your child is having mental health issues, then as a parent you need to get your child help as well.
We have bullying programs in place. Our Admin team really works hard to try to make school a welcoming place. But, even still, kids are going to have some negative interactions with other kids. If someone has an answer that nobody else has to completely stop it, I would love to hear it.

Reality check.

This girl is in school for only 7 hours a day.

She killed herself at home.

The parents have a lot bigger role in their child's life than anyone at school.

Apparently this girl needed help. Counseling or something.

The schools are there to educate. Not parent.

Sorry. It isn't the schools fault this girl killed herself.

But, I cannot police Instagram. Can you?

And, I think the bigger issue, which I have said OVER AND OVER, isn't to pretend we can eliminate bullying from the planet because we can't. Instead we should be teaching kids how to be RESILIANT. On the playground, when we were called names, we would just shout back with the "Sticks and stones" mantra. And, we were taught that the words of some bully should not matter more to you than the words of people who love you.

I agree. The parents need to police their own kids' social media.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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And, I think the bigger issue, which I have said OVER AND OVER, isn't to pretend we can eliminate bullying from the planet because we can't. Instead we should be teaching kids how to be RESILIANT. On the playground, when we were called names, we would just shout back with the "Sticks and stones" mantra. And, we were taught that the words of some bully should not matter more to you than the words of people who love you.

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There will always be bullies.  All these "anti-bullying" programs are well and good, but they won't stop all bullies. 

In fact, bullying probably is worse now than 20 or 30 years ago due to technology.  At least back then you could go home, or hang out with your little group of friends and get away from the bullies for part of the day.

 

Now, kids have some perverse need to live online where the bullies have unlimited access to them at almost any time of the day or night. 

 

Sorry, but parents need to police that.   

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 BINGO!

flan

Peer pressure has always been powerful flan. This isn't something new. But, I agree, the kids seem to be getting crueler and they have many more opportunities to bully someone 24/7.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Bullying is more invasive now because there is no escaping it by leaving school. Husker is right. And so is Gaga - you have to teach your kids to be resilient and how to turn off and ignore technology when it is being used to harass you.

But, that doesn't mean the schools get to ignore it on their end, either. They still have the obligation to make school a good, safe environment for learning, and turning a blind eye to bullying is not the way to do it.

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Of course.  Everyone needs to stand up to it.  But, I think we are living in a fantasy world to believe it can be stopped.  A simple glance, a tone of voice and there are a million ways to express your displeasure to someone without being able to label it as bullying.  That is what is so difficult about it.  And, no, everyone doesn't have to like you.  You can't make kids all like one another. 

One of the things I tried really hard to teach my girls was "not everyone will like you". Not every teacher, not every classmate, not every adult...some people just won't like you. And other than just being yourself, there is not a darn thing you can do about it. So don't give it any thought and move on. It hurts, but you can't dwell on it or worry about it. There are people YOU don't like who are sitting at home right now upset that you don't like them, no matter what they say and do at school, but that won't change your mind. So you won't change their mind. Move on.

Teaching kids that rainbows shoot out their backside and everyone gets a trophy and we are all special...well that doesn't help them in the real world does it? Because there are professors in college whose job it is to weed out the weak in the field. Their class is mandatory and they are the only prof who teaches it. It's because it's their job to get rid of the kids who won't make it so only the strong advance to the upper levels of the program.

And bosses...there will be some fricking terrible bosses in your life. Do you want to be the employee the boss chews up and spits out or do you want to be the one who survives ? Teach your kids accordingly.

Really, if parents truly think they need to find someone to blame for a child's suicide--they might want to look in the mirror.
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This--ultimately, a child is a PARENT'S responsibility

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Bullying is more invasive now because there is no escaping it by leaving school. Husker is right. And so is Gaga - you have to teach your kids to be resilient and how to turn off and ignore technology when it is being used to harass you.

But, that doesn't mean the schools get to ignore it on their end, either. They still have the obligation to make school a good, safe environment for learning, and turning a blind eye to bullying is not the way to do it.

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Yes, DURING school and on school property.   

huskerbb wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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It's not the school's job to stand up for the students (I realize how stupid that sounds). It is the parents job. Where were these parents BEFORE their daughter died?

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It is and isn't.  It's absolutely the school's job--when the child is IN SCHOOL or at an official school activity. The school absolutely has a duty to provide a safe environment for all its students.

 

Beyond school hours and off school property, though, they cannot be expected to police social media, monitor texts, and everything else   

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 One teacher and 30 students.  the school is relatively powerless.  It is up to the parents to foster a trusting relationship with their child and follow up.  Advocacy is the parent's job.

huskerbb wrote:

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I don't even get what you mean by your first two statements. Are you saying the teacher should do nothing when they see bullying? The school has no role in preventing and punishing bullying within its walls? That's just looney. They absolutely have a duty to do so.

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 You're right.  You don't get it.

 

I'm saying that it is a losing battle and the teacher is unlikely to see everything.  Kinda thought common sense would kick in on that one.  

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Bullying is more invasive now because there is no escaping it by leaving school. Husker is right. And so is Gaga - you have to teach your kids to be resilient and how to turn off and ignore technology when it is being used to harass you.

But, that doesn't mean the schools get to ignore it on their end, either. They still have the obligation to make school a good, safe environment for learning, and turning a blind eye to bullying is not the way to do it.

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Yes, DURING school and on school property.   

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Yes.  I don't see how people can expect the School to police the Internet and all the social media. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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My dil,works at the grade school as a aide and sometimes substitute teacher. One kid was calling a girl all kinds of names and my dil, looked at her and asked why would you say that? The kid stuttered and said cause no one likes her and she said "again why would you say that"? The school may not be able to control bullying off of campus but they can control it at school.

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  Yes, but if you will recall, a teacher did just that and she was fired at another school district. 

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 Oh I remember but I don't think they have a problem with teachers trying to stop it here.

This is a horrible thing. And kids killing themselves over this type of thing is terrible. ALL of Society should feel a responsibility toward the welfare of children. And, of course the school should absolutely police bullying. However, I don't think policing bullying is enough. Simply attempting to squash it doesn't provide the inclusion that kids seek. Instead find other ways to give kids inclusion and acceptance.

Tignanello wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I don't even get what you mean by your first two statements. Are you saying the teacher should do nothing when they see bullying? The school has no role in preventing and punishing bullying within its walls? That's just looney. They absolutely have a duty to do so.

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 You're right.  You don't get it.

 

I'm saying that it is a losing battle and the teacher is unlikely to see everything.  Kinda thought common sense would kick in on that one.  

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That's bull.  The school absolutely had a duty to confront bullying when it happens during school. THAT is common sense.  

Tignanello wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I don't even get what you mean by your first two statements. Are you saying the teacher should do nothing when they see bullying? The school has no role in preventing and punishing bullying within its walls? That's just looney. They absolutely have a duty to do so.

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 You're right.  You don't get it.

 

I'm saying that it is a losing battle and the teacher is unlikely to see everything.  Kinda thought common sense would kick in on that one.  

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That's bull.  The school absolutely had a duty to confront bullying when it happens during school. THAT is common sense.  

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 Not if they don't see it. Again - 30 kids and 1 teacher. You think kids are dumb enough to misbehave while teacher is looking? 

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They need to see it.  I taught school.  Bullying is something you can't miss.  If you do--you aren't doing your job.  

huskerbb wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I don't even get what you mean by your first two statements. Are you saying the teacher should do nothing when they see bullying? The school has no role in preventing and punishing bullying within its walls? That's just looney. They absolutely have a duty to do so.

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 You're right.  You don't get it.

 

I'm saying that it is a losing battle and the teacher is unlikely to see everything.  Kinda thought common sense would kick in on that one.  

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That's bull.  The school absolutely had a duty to confront bullying when it happens during school. THAT is common sense.  

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 Not if they don't see it. Again - 30 kids and 1 teacher. You think kids are dumb enough to misbehave while teacher is looking? 

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They need to see it.  I taught school.  Bullying is something you can't miss.  If you do--you aren't doing your job.  

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 Either you still don't get it or you are looking for an excuse to be obtuse.  Are teachers patrolling the halls before and after classes?  the change rooms?  the bathrooms?  You're fighting a losing battle if you think a teacher - who is a human being - would be there to see and prevent every instance of bullying.

We seem to put ridiculous expectations on to teachers. Well, if you are fat, out of shape and don't take your medicine, is that your doctor's fault? Why not? We seem to expect teachers to perform miracles that even doctors can't do. Yes, it is the job of the teacher to set the tone of the classroom and to monitor and police the students. Of course. Absolutely. But, no they are not going to see every incident. Or, even if they do see one, they may have not see the 10 other incidents preceding it. Or, the kids have different classes or it happened at the cafeteria or while waiting for the bus or whatever.

huskerbb wrote:

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Teachers are 100% responsible for what goes on in their classroom. If they don't "see it"--that is irrelevant. They are still responsible for it and can and will be held accountable for it by the administration--if the administration is doing their job.

It's not an excuse to say "well, I didn't see it.".

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 Talking out of both sides of your mouth or did you have stroke and forget what you said before?

Your first post on this thread:

 

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People just want someone to blame. Was she bullied? Probably. Was it a factor in her suicide? Probably.  The article does not give, however, the specifics of the bullying or what the school did do about it.  People seem to have the notion that the school is responsible for every damn thing kids do. NOT THE CASE. They can't be everywhere--especially on social media, email, or texts--where we all know damn well that much, if not most, bullying occurs.  Really, if parents truly think they need to find someone to blame for a child's suicide--they might want to look in the mirror.  Is that uncomfortable? He!! yes it is--but parents spend more time with their kids than the school does, especially before high school sport take over. There's a reason they aren't a bigger influence on their kids' lives than the school--or some bullies.  I'm not trying to "pile on" grieving parents--but if they really think they need to blame someone, it makes more sense than going after the school.