TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

So do the rest of us.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

So do the rest of us.

---

 Not by what you and many others have posted here.

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

She gave you one. Isn't one enough? So, if she names two or three or 50 does that somehow change it ?

---

 Because ONE person doing it does not make it "normal".  Furhtermore - I said PERSONALLY know - like friends and family - not the one person claiming it on a message board.

---

Who said it was normal or average or whatever?  We are saying it can and does happen if a kid is so inclined to act that way. 

---

 Because the damn attitude that teenagers having sex everywhere at any time as normal is just ridiculous.  The stats don't support it, and neither does common sense.  So, just because SOME people snuck around having sex as teenagers does NOT mean that everyone will do it and it is damn insulting to be told that as a PARENT, I have no control over it.  That's a damn lie.  As a PARENT, and how I teach my kid and account for my kids, and supervise my kids, I most certainly DO. 

---

LOL!!!!!  Your kids are not teenagers.   You have no frame of reference.

 

Plus, no, not all teens will have sex--but this particular one ALREADY HAS--and that is a HUGE difference.

 

I'm not saying your kids will have sex--but I am saying if they do they aren't going to stop just because you don't like it.   

---

 They will stop because it won't be worth it.  Most teenagers would rather have a drivers license and a phone than sex. 

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

So do the rest of us.

---

 Not by what you and many others have posted here.

---

What are you going to do?  Chain your kids in the basement?  

Short of that, there will ALWAYS be some part of their day when you aren't directly watching them.   

---

 That is what teaching and trust is for.  But once they break that trust - yes, they will have someone directly watching them all the time.  They can explain to their friends why they have a nanny at fifteen.

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

So do the rest of us.

---

 Not by what you and many others have posted here.

---

What are you going to do?  Chain your kids in the basement?  

Short of that, there will ALWAYS be some part of their day when you aren't directly watching them.   

---

 That is what teaching and trust is for.  But once they break that trust - yes, they will have someone directly watching them all the time.  They can explain to their friends why they have a nanny at fifteen.

---

Yes, are trustworthy until you are not.  But after the FACT, you have the nanny but they already did the deed. The nanny doesn't unring that bell. 

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

I didn't have sex in HS. Did some of my friends have sex during their HS years. Yes. And, that is what the thread is about, not just having sex in school.

---

 Wow, really?  How did you resist?  After all, teenagers are nothing but sex machines who can't help themselves.

---

WHO said that?  

---

 The overwhelming gist of this thread is that teenagers will find a way to have sex no matter what you do.  That's just bull.

---

SOME teenagers will find a way to have sex no matter what you do.  And, that is no bull.  And, yes, some derelict parents make it easy for their kids to get into those types of situations and that is wrong too. 

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

I didn't have sex in HS. Did some of my friends have sex during their HS years. Yes. And, that is what the thread is about, not just having sex in school.

---

 Wow, really?  How did you resist?  After all, teenagers are nothing but sex machines who can't help themselves.

---

WHO said that?  

---

 The overwhelming gist of this thread is that teenagers will find a way to have sex no matter what you do.  That's just bull.

---

Wow.  You must be having trouble reading.

 

No, that is NOT what is being said at all. 

 

point>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LL

 

Swing and a miss.   

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

So do the rest of us.

---

 Not by what you and many others have posted here.

---

What are you going to do?  Chain your kids in the basement?  

Short of that, there will ALWAYS be some part of their day when you aren't directly watching them.   

---

 That is what teaching and trust is for.  But once they break that trust - yes, they will have someone directly watching them all the time.  They can explain to their friends why they have a nanny at fifteen.

---

Yes, are trustworthy until you are not.  But after the FACT, you have the nanny but they already did the deed. The nanny doesn't unring that bell. 

---

 Nope, but she can stop the opportunities for more.  

The whole attitude that once a kid has had sex, you just have to accept the activity from then on is my problem.  This is not about VIRGINITY.  Every instance of sex brings a new chance of pregnancy, disease, and potential heartbreak.  You don't just give up on a parenting issue because it has happened once or twice. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

Who said THAT?  Who said Do Nothing?  Did someone say "oh, let's just rent them a hotel and buy them some vibrators"? 

---

Don't forget the pot!

flan 

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

So do the rest of us.

---

 Not by what you and many others have posted here.

---

What are you going to do?  Chain your kids in the basement?  

Short of that, there will ALWAYS be some part of their day when you aren't directly watching them.   

---

 That is what teaching and trust is for.  But once they break that trust - yes, they will have someone directly watching them all the time.  They can explain to their friends why they have a nanny at fifteen.

---

Yes, are trustworthy until you are not.  But after the FACT, you have the nanny but they already did the deed. The nanny doesn't unring that bell. 

---

 Nope, but she can stop the opportunities for more.  

The whole attitude that once a kid has had sex, you just have to accept the activity from then on is my problem.  This is not about VIRGINITY.  Every instance of sex brings a new chance of pregnancy, disease, and potential heartbreak.  You don't just give up on a parenting issue because it has happened once or twice. 

---

No, you really can't.  You can probably cut down on them severely, but you can't stop every one if they are determined.

 

You think no parents have ever tried? 

 

You can bury your head in the sand--or you can be proactive and try to prevent the things you say--the pregnancy, disease, and heartbreak, at least the first two.  

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

No, it's not ok.

 

But you are delusional if you think that teenagers won't or don't do things just because their parents say it's not "ok".

 

He!!, 3 year olds will do things their parents don't want them to--but the difference is you have more supervision and control over a 3 year old.  You can't treat a teenager the same way no matter what delusional you want to believe.  

---

 The types of control changes.  The way you discipline a 3 year old vs. a teenager is different, but can still be effective.

---

You are delusional if you think you can have the same type of control over teenagers as a 3 year old.   

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

Who said THAT?  Who said Do Nothing?  Did someone say "oh, let's just rent them a hotel and buy them some vibrators"? 

---

 Prudie pretty much said mom just has to accept it.  Hell - not even to say anything different to the boy.  Get her some birth control and realize this is what she is doing is basically the response Prudie gave.  Go back and read it.

---

LOL!!!  What are you going to say to the boy?  Bad, bad, down boy, don't do that?? 

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

No, it's not ok.

 

But you are delusional if you think that teenagers won't or don't do things just because their parents say it's not "ok".

 

He!!, 3 year olds will do things their parents don't want them to--but the difference is you have more supervision and control over a 3 year old.  You can't treat a teenager the same way no matter what delusional you want to believe.  

---

 The types of control changes.  The way you discipline a 3 year old vs. a teenager is different, but can still be effective.

---

You are delusional if you think you can have the same type of control over teenagers as a 3 year old.   

---

 I SAID it was a different type of control - you are just trying to be argumentative.  You really think a parent can't control a teenager at all?  That's not really a parent, then.

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

No, it's not ok.

 

But you are delusional if you think that teenagers won't or don't do things just because their parents say it's not "ok".

 

He!!, 3 year olds will do things their parents don't want them to--but the difference is you have more supervision and control over a 3 year old.  You can't treat a teenager the same way no matter what delusional you want to believe.  

---

 The types of control changes.  The way you discipline a 3 year old vs. a teenager is different, but can still be effective.

---

You are delusional if you think you can have the same type of control over teenagers as a 3 year old.   

---

 I SAID it was a different type of control - you are just trying to be argumentative.  You really think a parent can't control a teenager at all?  That's not really a parent, then.

---

At all and TOTALLY UNCONDITIONALLY WITH FORCE 24/7 are 2 different things! 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

huskerbb wrote:

---

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Get back to us when u actually have teens and believe you know where they are 24/7.

---

 So, because you couldn't control your kids you assume nobody can?

---

Not forever, no.  You are just like the mom who thinks she can stop her 28 year old daughters from living with their boyfriends--she can't.

Neither can you control them 24/7 once they get to be teenagers.  There will ALWAYS be some part of the day when you can't directly watch them, even if it is at school.   

 

Also, I've watched HUNDREDS of parents of teenagers--and no, they can't "control" them.  NONE of them. 

---

 And that is why you teach them it is NOT OKAY.  You don't just "accept it". 

---

LOL!!!  And you think that NO teenager has EVER done anything that their parents didn't think was "ok"???? LOL!!!!!!

 

You are absolutely delusional. 

 

He!!, I was raised in a pastor's household.  Premarital sex was MORE than "discouraged".  It was verboten.  We knew damn well it wasn't something we should do.  We were absolutely taught that it was not "ok". 

 

Teens drink alcohol when their parents don't want them to.

They try drugs.

The do risky things when they drive.

They experiment with sex.   

---

 And it's not ok - right?  So why the hell would you just condone it because they are doing it?  Your are going to do nothing?  Really?  Oh well, my fifteen year old is having sex, guess I can't do anything. 

Bull.

---

No, it's not ok.

 

But you are delusional if you think that teenagers won't or don't do things just because their parents say it's not "ok".

 

He!!, 3 year olds will do things their parents don't want them to--but the difference is you have more supervision and control over a 3 year old.  You can't treat a teenager the same way no matter what delusional you want to believe.  

---

 The types of control changes.  The way you discipline a 3 year old vs. a teenager is different, but can still be effective.

---

You are delusional if you think you can have the same type of control over teenagers as a 3 year old.   

---

 I SAID it was a different type of control - you are just trying to be argumentative.  You really think a parent can't control a teenager at all?  That's not really a parent, then.

---

At all and TOTALLY UNCONDITIONALLY WITH FORCE 24/7 are 2 different things! 

---

 If they prove they can't be trusted - that's what they get.  They have my trust until they lose it.  Lose my trust - lose your freedom, it's as simple as that. 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Which means, they already HAD sex and you are getting the nanny AFTER the fact so you didn't PREVENT them from doing it in the first place which is the point here everyone is making.

---

 I understand when a ship has sailed, Gaga.  My point would be to close the harbor against any FURTHER ships.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Yes, but once the Harbor has been opened, the ships will find it a lot more quickly now. Yes, I would absolutely not want that for my daughter.

---

 It is absolutely ridiculous to assume that losing your virginity turns one into a sex-crazed person who can no longer live without sex.

Lawyerlady wrote:

---

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

---

Yes, but once the Harbor has been opened, the ships will find it a lot more quickly now. Yes, I would absolutely not want that for my daughter.

---

 It is absolutely ridiculous to assume that losing your virginity turns one into a sex-crazed person who can no longer live without sex.

---

Nobody said that either.  But, once you cross certain lines, it is much easier to cross that line again.  That is true of anything.  Once you have had sex, it is going to be easier to continue to just do it again than it was when you did the first time.  Same with drugs, alcohol or anthing else.  Yeah, don't encourage or provide opportunites.  Of course.  But, neither would I bury my head in the sand and pretend.  There is now a very real risk of pregnancy and I you don't want to be raising your own grandchild, then act accordingly. 

Gaga - did you actually read Prudie's response?

AFter all the "take her to the doctor" stuff that I actually agree with - she then went on to say this -

 

"But she didn’t, and your weekend weeping in bed made clear that you disapprove. You will only alienate her if you can’t come to terms with her decision and treat her with respect. You move on by accepting that you have only a few more years of your little girl living under your roof (you hope). Tell her you appreciate her being honest with you, and that even if you don’t always agree with her decisions, you will always be there to love and support her."

 

 

 

I'm not RESPECTING my fifteen year old's decision to have sex.  WTF?????

-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Sunday 31st of May 2015 09:08:29 AM

Yes. Everywhere. And you are not the only one. Did you say "I agree with Prudie" - no. But your posts are pretty clear that you do.

Wow, did this thread blow up since I checked at 3:00 am!

I was a promiscuous teenager with steady boyfriends. I am not agreeing 100% with either side. Would I prefer my child to wait until they were old enough to be ready and handle it? Absolutely. But if they did not, I would encourage them to be protected from pregnancy and STDs.

Did my parents handle it correctly? Not really, Dad tried, Mom overruled. Did they raise a stupid child who kept having sex? NO!!! That is where you pissed me off and I needed to respond. I told you my experiences here so that you would see that sometimes, there is no controlling a teenager that does not want to be. Don't be like my mother and try to pull the "Nazi" guard of control. Keep talking to your daughter. Maintain that balance of parent and confidant (I did not say friend). That is what will keep her close to you and not hate you and make her think why should she bother with any of the rules if you cannot SUPPORT her if she makes a mistake in your eyes. I did NOT say condone it. But if you make her enemy #1 by being that controlling of a parent, you will lose her permanently when she turns 18, if not before then. That makes you the worse kind of bully if you do that.

IF your daughter happens to be in that growing percentage of those who wait until they are older, Wonderful. But do me a favor, stop trying to make those of us who did not wait feel like ****, like we are sluts and losers and have nothing to look forward to JUST because we had sex before a time in our life that you appointed (marriage). You may not be doing it directly but that is what you are inferring about each of us in that situation.