We are going to an engagement party this weekend and I can't decide if I should bring a gift. I have googled the question and I am getting both yes and no answers. The couple just bought their first home so am thinking that a Bed Bath & Beyond GC would be nice, but other things have me annoyed so I feel like being petty.
Without going into too many of my negative feelings this is a 20+ year friendship with the father of the bride and she is a sweetheart.
Thank you. The party is not at their home unfortunately. We have to travel for this party so although I might (these are the BF's friends) be invited to other events I doubt I would go. We will be going to the wedding in a little over a year. Between this party and the wedding we are looking at a significant amount of money for us because of the travel necessary. I will probably end up giving a $50 gift card. I was worried that might be too cheap. We do fine financially, but no where near this group.
We will attend an engagement party for the first time next weekend. I got a lovely card. Husband intends to give the groom-to-be a play-dough-poo making kit (they are long time friends and this will actually be much appreciated).
I guess we will also bring a bottle of wine.
There can be so many events related to one wedding. It gets costly.
I think it's fine to do just a wedding gift. Often I will do just that, but sometimes I'll give both a bridal shower and wedding gift. But I don't do engagement party gifts or bachelor/bachelorette gifts, or any other pre-wedding occasions. It just starts to smack of gift-grabbing. If you're spending money for travel, it's nervy for the couple to expect several gifts on top of that.
Do what feels right, and what's in your budget. Giving is supposed to be done with pleasure, not feeling like a drain.
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I didn't have any pre-wedding events for my wedding nor have I attended any so I don't have anything to go on. Personally, I'd feel awkward accepting a gift just because I got engaged. I couldn't imagine throwing a party for an engagement. I doubt I would think about a gift if I were invited to such an event.
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My cousin the lawyer married a doctor whose family was very well off. We jokingly call them Prince William and Kate Middleton - their life events happened at the same time and the whole world stopped to watch when it happened. Lol.
Well they had an engagement party, and all the other parties and soirées that accompany getting married. For the engagement party people gave them some pretty extravagant gifts. It was actually embarrassing. Several people gave them gift of cash of $500 or more. Some gave $1000. It was ridiculous. Luckily I lived out of state and couldn't attend but my mother was horrified at some of the gift she saw being brought to the party in comparison to the $100 she put in the card. I told her she can't compare herself to anyone else and if the $100 made her happy to give that's all that mattered.
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Thank you everyone. I am going to go ahead and do the $50. We are probably the only ones traveling for this party. I was just concerned it wasn't enough or something. Not sure why it matters so much to me.
My cousin the lawyer married a doctor whose family was very well off. We jokingly call them Prince William and Kate Middleton - their life events happened at the same time and the whole world stopped to watch when it happened. Lol.
Well they had an engagement party, and all the other parties and soirées that accompany getting married. For the engagement party people gave them some pretty extravagant gifts. It was actually embarrassing. Several people gave them gift of cash of $500 or more. Some gave $1000. It was ridiculous. Luckily I lived out of state and couldn't attend but my mother was horrified at some of the gift she saw being brought to the party in comparison to the $100 she put in the card. I told her she can't compare herself to anyone else and if the $100 made her happy to give that's all that mattered.
Now my mom stresses every Christmas and birthday because her nephew makes so much money. What gift that she gives could compare to what they could buy for themselves? It's awful. Finally, my Dad told her that he would buy them a bottle of expensive wine for the gift giving occasions. They love wine and think this is such a sweet thoughtful gift. My mom still stresses about it "not being enough". I hate seeing her freak out like that but what can you do?
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I have never been to an engagement party that included gifts. Usually they are just a fun way for the two families to mingle and celebrate the upcoming nuptials.
I always take a token gift when I go to a party - hostess, engagement, etc. But, I don't think it would be required. And when in doubt - I just take a bottle of wine.
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LawyerLady
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