TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

Who gave him permission to 'order for the table'?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

When in Rome.....

ed11563 · Guru

It's not uncommon for this to happen at dinners at sales meetings, where the company is picking up the check (even if it's separate checks).

But at other times, when someone --- any one --- orders appetizers (for the table or not) the appetizer goes on that person's separate check.

huskerbb · Guru

Ok, first of all, he didn't "order for the table". It was just the appetizers, and apparently the wine.

Second, if someone wanted something else--SPEAK UP. I doubt it would have been a problem to add an appetizer or two.

Third, grousing about it AFTER the fact when you didn't say anything at the time makes you rather a ninny.

Fourth, this illustrates the difference between men and women. To her husband, they all had a great time, they split the bill evenly even if some ordered more expensive items. Who cares? It's only money and you can't take it with you. The wife, on the other hand, despite admitting she had a good time is still kvetching about the cost of the wine and appetizers.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
It's not uncommon for this to happen at dinners at sales meetings, where the company is picking up the check (even if it's separate checks).
But at other times, when someone --- any one --- orders appetizers (for the table or not) the appetizer goes on that person's separate check.

BS. If they all eat the appetizers they get split if the rest of the bill is split.

ed11563 · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
It's not uncommon for this to happen at dinners at sales meetings, where the company is picking up the check (even if it's separate checks).
But at other times, when someone --- any one --- orders appetizers (for the table or not) the appetizer goes on that person's separate check.

BS. If they all eat the appetizers they get split if the rest of the bill is split.

Usually the people I eat with order very spicy things. I don't eat spicy food.

Or raw fish. Or oysters.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
It's not uncommon for this to happen at dinners at sales meetings, where the company is picking up the check (even if it's separate checks).
But at other times, when someone --- any one --- orders appetizers (for the table or not) the appetizer goes on that person's separate check.

BS. If they all eat the appetizers they get split if the rest of the bill is split.
Usually the people I eat with order very spicy things. I don't eat spicy food.
Or raw fish. Or oysters.

Fine. IF you don't eat them, then that is a different scenario. I wouldn't make a federal case out of it--but it's a different situation than the one described.

In the situation above, they apparently all ate appetizers.

ed11563 · Guru

"For the table" is NOT the same as ordering for yourself, taking some and passing the rest around, or giving some to one or two specific people.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
"For the table" is NOT the same as ordering for yourself, taking some and passing the rest around, or giving some to one or two specific people.

Exactly. You are ordering for everyone--so everyone shares and everyone pays. Again, it was just the appetizers. If they wanted the shrimp, speak up and add that on to the order.

huskerbb · Guru

I don't see how this is some kind of unusual scenario.

When we go out with friends, we do often talk about what we want--but when ordering the appetizers, one person often does the ordering.

If it is a place unfamiliar to us, but someone has been there, before, then we would often defer to them since they may know what is good.

It's just not that big of a deal, certainly not worth the conniption the writer of the article had about it.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I don't see how this is some kind of unusual scenario.

When we go out with friends, we do often talk about what we want--but when ordering the appetizers, one person often does the ordering.

If it is a place unfamiliar to us, but someone has been there, before, then we would often defer to them since they may know what is good.

It's just not that big of a deal, certainly not worth the conniption the writer of the article had about it.

I agree.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Some people are just loud mouths and control freaks and can't imagine someone else not liking what he likes.

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Some people are just loud mouths and control freaks and can't imagine someone else not liking what he likes.

But that wasn't even the problem. She didn't say she didn't like what was ordered.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Some people are just loud mouths and control freaks and can't imagine someone else not liking what he likes.
But that wasn't even the problem. She didn't say she didn't like what was ordered.

Yep, she should have said something. But his loud mouth probably intimidated her. Just because people are not going against your opinion doesn't mean they agree with you.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It's one meal. Who cares? Next time get separate checks.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

"That sounds great, {loudmouth}! How kind of you to treat everyone to appetizers!"

ed11563 · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
"For the table" is NOT the same as ordering for yourself, taking some and passing the rest around, or giving some to one or two specific people.
Exactly. You are ordering for everyone--so everyone shares and everyone pays. Again, it was just the appetizers. If they wanted the shrimp, speak up and add that on to the order.

NO! No one told you that you had their permission to spend their money.

I've seen appetizers add up to $100 to the check for 8 people, 3 or 4 of whom didn't take anything. Or took just a little bit.

If you're getting spicy shrimp or octopus or wassabi eggplant, Spouse and I are not eating any. Why should I subsidize $25 of your meal?

Same thing if you order $50 or $100 of wine. I don't drink it, I don't want you picking my pocket.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, this can all be easily avoided if people just get their own checks. When they come by initially and ask about appetizers, you pipe up and say, "Oh, we would like separate checks " and then you either order an appetizer or you don't.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
"For the table" is NOT the same as ordering for yourself, taking some and passing the rest around, or giving some to one or two specific people.
Exactly. You are ordering for everyone--so everyone shares and everyone pays. Again, it was just the appetizers. If they wanted the shrimp, speak up and add that on to the order.
NO! No one told you that you had their permission to spend their money.
I've seen appetizers add up to $100 to the check for 8 people, 3 or 4 of whom didn't take anything. Or took just a little bit.

If you're getting spicy shrimp or octopus or wassabi eggplant, Spouse and I are not eating any. Why should I subsidize $25 of your meal?
Same thing if you order $50 or $100 of wine. I don't drink it, I don't want you picking my pocket.

It is usually the big drinkers who are the pocket pickers and insist on just "splitting" the bill.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

We always get separate checks. A few of us will get an appetizer and we will share with everyone. My friends drink way more than me. They would never expect me to pay for part of that.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I guess we usually go out with (only) one other couple, so it's not an issue.

I took a GF for lunch yesterday. She had never been to this pizza place, so I suggested an appetizer, which she loved.

flan

ed11563 · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Well, this can all be easily avoided if people just get their own checks. When they come by initially and ask about appetizers, you pipe up and say, "Oh, we would like separate checks " and then you either order an appetizer or you don't.

Yes.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, we have 3 kids, so ain't nobody ever wanted to subsidize our tab! lol

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Some people are just loud mouths and control freaks and can't imagine someone else not liking what he likes.
But that wasn't even the problem. She didn't say she didn't like what was ordered.
Yep, she should have said something. But his loud mouth probably intimidated her. Just because people are not going against your opinion doesn't mean they agree with you.

But there's no way for him to know that if she doesn't speak up. Timid people are good at that. They won't say what they want, so someone else makes the decision be default--and then the timid person bitches behind their back.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Some people are just loud mouths and control freaks and can't imagine someone else not liking what he likes.
But that wasn't even the problem. She didn't say she didn't like what was ordered.
Yep, she should have said something. But his loud mouth probably intimidated her. Just because people are not going against your opinion doesn't mean they agree with you.
But there's no way for him to know that if she doesn't speak up. Timid people are good at that. They won't say what they want, so someone else makes the decision be default--and then the timid person bitches behind their back.

That's a good point. There are way too many passive aggressive people. If you dont' like it and don't want to do it that way, then say so. If you are going to go along with it, then accept it and don't be a beyotche about it later.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
"For the table" is NOT the same as ordering for yourself, taking some and passing the rest around, or giving some to one or two specific people.
Exactly. You are ordering for everyone--so everyone shares and everyone pays. Again, it was just the appetizers. If they wanted the shrimp, speak up and add that on to the order.
NO! No one told you that you had their permission to spend their money.
I've seen appetizers add up to $100 to the check for 8 people, 3 or 4 of whom didn't take anything. Or took just a little bit.

If you're getting spicy shrimp or octopus or wassabi eggplant, Spouse and I are not eating any. Why should I subsidize $25 of your meal?
Same thing if you order $50 or $100 of wine. I don't drink it, I don't want you picking my pocket.

Bull fvcking ****. if you eat it, then you pay for it. if you don't want to pay for appetizers someone else orders--then dont eat them.

the situation you are talking about is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than what is suggested in the article.